Enough is enough
by Andrea Jacobs
Summary: Hermione is back at Hogwarts after the defeat of Voldemort, retaking her seventh year. A drain of Hermione's magical resources leads to her getting help from an unexpected source, Snape. Rated M to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I am not quite sure where this story is going, it's is the first HP fanfic I've written in almost two years, it might be just two chapters or might be a complete story, I really don't know. Please don't expect anything but I will try my best to keep writing. Whilst this story is not DH compliant, many things that happened in the DH have happened in this fic. The main differences are that Snape survived and that Hermione's parents are dead. ****Hope you enjoy it.**

**Andrea xxx**

Hermione sighed once more as she bent down to clean the underside of the last desk. She had been cleaning the undersides of the desks in the Potions classroom for the past three hours and her back was aching. She groaned as she got rid of some chewing gums that some idiotic, in her opinion, students had left there. One more hand movement and they were gone. She stood up at looked satisfactorily over the room. Professor Snape was sitting on the chair behind his desk, grading papers. She watched as he scribbled away furiously with that red quill of his. She felt a twinge of sympathy as she imagined what grade that particular student had received. As she looked down at herself and then back to Snape at his desk, she realized how out of place she felt. She found herself once more contemplating why she was still at Hogwarts.

Voldemort had been defeated six months earlier in a big battle at Hogwarts. Many people, on both sides, had died. Out of the people that had died from the side of the light, Tonks, Lupin and Neville were the people Hermione missed the most. She felt her heart hurt at the thought of them. However, there were also many muggles that had died, including Hermione's parents. There had been a death eater raid on her house in the beginning of last spring and by the time the Order had been alerted, her parents were already dead. Whilst this news had been devastating for Hermione, who at the time was chasing horcruxes with Harry and Ron, she had remained calm, strangely so in fact. Harry and Ron had been walking on eggshells around her, wondering why she hadn't broken down. They felt that she had been acting a bit too professional, almost as if she were emotionally detached. She had just shrugged at their comments and told them that she mourned in her own way. That, she knew, they could not argue with.

However, once the war was over, Hermione had felt that she could escape no longer and so she had taken off for a month without telling anyone where she was going, only leaving Harry and Ron a note telling them not to worry and not to look for her. The death of her parents had left her with more money than she needed, not that they had been very rich, but they had had enough money saved up to last her for many years to come. And so she had decided to spend some of that money on travelling to her parents' favourite village in the south of France, Èze. She had spent many summers there as a child and found the village, which was located in the mountains, very beautiful. There, and in the nearby city of Nice, she had recovered, slowly. The first week had been fine, but nine days into her trip she had decided to go to a restaurant that she always went to with her parents, and meeting the people who worked there, who knew her by name, had simply been too much. She had spent the next five days locked up in her hotel room, only leaving the room once a day to get something to eat. When she had left the room after five days, she had felt strangely relieved. She had spent the next week visiting all her parents' favourite places, walking, quite literally, in their footsteps. The remainder of her trip was spent in Nice, mainly on the beach. In the evenings she would sometimes have dinner at one of the restaurants in the Old Town of Nice, but mostly she would just buy a snack on the street and eat it whilst walking. She developed a fondness for fine white wine, her favourite being Chevalier-Montrachet, which she would love to drink every day were it not so expensive. She did, however, bring a case of it back to the United Kingdom with her when she returned. Everyone had welcomed her back with open arms and she, along with Harry and Ron, had been awarded an Order of Merlin First Class during a ceremony in the end of July. She had then spent the following weeks cleaning out her childhood home and sorting out her affairs, after which she sold the house and bought herself a small flat in Edinburgh.

Many people had been very hurt during the war but all of them had recovered by now. Snape was perhaps the one who had been wounded most gravely. Hermione had seen with her own eyes how he had been killed, or so she had thought, by Nagini and she was still in the dark as to how he had survived. He had yet to tell anyone. He had been in a coma for weeks but then, all of a sudden; he had woken up in the beginning of August, completely healthy. It was obvious that he felt much better now that the war was over. He had put on some weight, which had smoothed out some of the lines in his face as well as made him look healthier, as he had been underweight before. Snape, along with all the teachers, with the exception of Professor Slughorn, had returned to Hogwarts after the war. Whilst he was still his usual grumpy self, he did not play favourites with the Slytherins as much as he did before, something the other Houses were quite happy about. The reason Snape had returned was a mystery to Hermione, as she truly believed that he hated his job. Her being in his classroom right now, at half past ten in the evening, proved that, in her opinion.

The new Headmistress of Hogwarts, Professor McGonagall, had contacted all the recent seventh years and offered them a chance to return to Hogwarts and take their NEWTs. Out of all the students who had received the offer, Hermione was the only one who had taken her up on it. She had tried for hours to persuade Ron and Harry to come back with her but they had refused, claiming that since they had already received, without even applying, unconditional offers at the Auror Academy there was no reason for them to, as they put it, "be bored to death" with studies. Apparently all other fellow students in their year had felt the same.

Hermione had not told anyone the real reason for her return to Hogwarts, instead simply pretending to be her old bookworm self who loved studying. Whilst she was still fond of learning, she saw no point in her studying a year before taking her NEWTs. Especially since she was confident that she could already pass them in her sleep. No, that was not the reason why she had returned. In fact, the cause of her return was fear and insecurity. Now that Voldemort was dead, along with her parents, the people she had focused on for the last years were gone and so she found herself with nothing to do. To Hermione, it was as though here reason and purpose of living had disappeared. She did not feel like going to university, even though she was sure she could have taken her NEWTs over the summer had she only asked, nor did she know what kind of career she wanted. And being the efficient and energetic person that she was, she did not feel like sitting around, waiting for something to happen. Hermione felt lost, something she did not want to admit to anyone, and so she decided to take McGonagall up on her offer, feeling that it couldn't hurt to have NEWTs.

This had meant that Hermione had returned to Hogwarts as a rather special student as she was no longer completely a student, yet she was not a member of the faculty. She still wore the school uniform, attended classes with the year below and during meals she sat at the Gryffindor table. The fact that she no longer had any prefect duties, as well as the fact that Voldemort no longer occupied her mind, had meant that she had found that she had a lot of spare time on her hands. Harry and Ron being gone also meant that she did not have to watch them to make sure that they did not do anything reckless, and she did no longer have to spend time writing their essays or, which was more time consuming, explain the school work to them. Whilst most of the seventh years took three or four NEWTs, Hermione, being the dedicated student that she was, had decided to take five. However, seeing as she was already far ahead in her studies, this was not a challenge, and thus she had found herself with too much time on her hands. McGonagall had therefore offered Hermione a job as a teaching assistant in Transfigurations, which meant that Hermione would assist with the first, second and third years' classes, as well as assisting her Head of House with grading and lesson planning. Whilst Hermione enjoyed these lessons and was very grateful for the opportunity to try out teaching, she had come to learn that it was not for her. She simply felt that it was a waste of time explaining things to students who did not even want to learn. This had made her wonder, once again, why Snape had come back to teach. She had tried to ask him about it once, during the first week of term, but he had just snapped and told her to "get the hell out of" his office. She had been more than a little angry but had figured that it wasn't the right time for the confrontation that was bound to happen between them. And so the first two months at Hogwarts had passed quite smoothly.

Hermione did, however, keep raising her hand in Potions class, knowing that that alone was enough to make Snape annoyed. She also continued to help her friends during class, something that Snape did not take kindly to. It was this that had landed her in the current situation. The same morning, during Potions class, she had stopped Ginny from adding an ingredient at the wrong moment, which would have ruined the potion completely, had Hermione not stepped in. Snape had, of course, been furious with her for helping Ginny and the fact that Hermione had talked back, arguing that she had prevented the destruction of expensive ingredients, had not helped her situation, which had deteriorated from ten deducted House points to a detention, to be served the same day, which of course happened to be a Friday night. Hermione, needless to say, had been angry beyond words but she had at least managed to get a grip of herself so that she did not land herself in several detentions, one was bad enough.

Once she had arrived at his classroom at seven o'clock sharp, he had swiftly told her that she was to clean the undersides of all the desks, without the use of magic. Hermione, having had enough time to collect herself, had simply nodded and got to work. Snape had seemed somewhat surprised when she had showed no reluctance but he had quickly got his facial expression together and sat down behind his desk and started grading. Once in a while he had looked up at her to make sure she wasn't using any magic and more than once had his gaze lingered on here for longer than was normal.

Hermione vanished the sponge and water bucket and washed her hands in a sink. She then raised her hands straight over her head, stretching her back and arms at the same time.

"What, pray tell, are you doing, Miss Granger?" Snape asked in his usual curt tone. He put down his quill and focused all his attention on her.

**Please review :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Writing is going well at the moment, so here is the next chapter. Anything in italics is Hermione's thoughts. I've changed quite a few things from the books in this chapter, as you'll no doubt see. And please comment on what I can do to improve the story. Hope you enjoy it. **

**Andrea xxx**

**Chapter 2 - When I slapped the teacher**

"What, pray tell, are you doing, Miss Granger?" Snape asked in his usual curt tone. He put down his quill and focused all his attention on her.

Hermione quickly dropped her hands, feeling a bit stupid. Then her head caught up with her and she was annoyed at herself for feeling as if she had just been caught doing something that she shouldn't be doing, when she had, in fact, just been stretching.

"I was stretching, Sir", she replied matter-of-factly.

Snape did not reply but instead just raised an eyebrow. He stood up from his desk and walked over to the desks, using a charm to check if they had been cleaned properly. When his spell didn't come up with anything amiss, he looked a bit annoyed.

"I trust you have learned your lesson now, Miss Granger. In the future", he paused for effect. "Cease helping your fellow classmates. If you insist on doing it I will be unable to give them the grade they deserve", he continued, his voice dripping with menace. By this point he had walked over to her so that they stood with only a desk between them.

"I understand that, Professor, but Ginny adding the aconite at that point could have caused a major explosion that could have resulted in many of…"

"Do not lecture me, Miss Granger", Snape hissed and looked at her disapprovingly. "I am well aware of what could have happened, yet I do not see why you found the need to interfere with my teaching", he finished and looked at here with a look of pure contempt.

"Professor, it is not that I doubt your teaching abilities, but I didn't want to take the risk of…" Hermione began once more but was again interrupted.

"I did not ask for your opinion, Miss Granger", Snape said curtly. "I realize it must be hard for you here without Potter and Weasley", he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "but is that really reason enough for you to step into Potter's shoes as the Gryffindor hero?" he sneered. "Is your new hero complex the reason why you have returned to Hogwarts when no one else did? Or is it because you simply have nothing, or perhaps I should say no one, outside these walls? Especially now that your two boyfriends seem to have moved on and it is not like you have a home in the muggle world, now is it?" He finished in a menacing voice.

Hermione's shoulders shook with anger when her mind registered what he had said but she could not help but notice that her teacher blinked quite sharply when he heard what came out of his mouth. For a couple of moments, the two simply stared at each other. Then, Hermione took three quick steps around the desk that separated them and raised her hand. A moment later she slapped him soundly on his left cheek.

Once she realised what she had done, she quickly lowered her hand and took a step back. She breathed heavily for a couple of moments, trying to get her anger to rinse off of her, before she dared to look at her teacher. _I am so getting expelled for this_, she thought. To say that she was surprised by what she saw, when she looked up, was an understatement. Snape was staring at her with an open mouth, obviously speechless. A moment later she saw the beginning of a smile forming on his lips and she thought she was going mad. Soon thereafter he started laughing.

Hermione looked at the Head of Slytherin as if he had just gone crazy. For all the love of Merlin, she could not understand why he was laughing after she had just slapped him. _Perhaps I really am insane_, she thought.

"I deserved that, didn't I, Miss Granger?" Snape said when he had managed to stifle his laugh. He lowered his head slightly to meet her eyes.

Hermione was surprised, to say the least, that he was not angry. That she, in fact, had made him laugh. It was the first time that she had ever seen Snape laugh. She met his eyes and saw a spark in them that she had never seen before. She then noticed his red cheek and all of a sudden the comedy of their situation hit her and she started laughing as well.

"Oh my God, I am so, so…" Hermione began but had to stop as she was laughing too much. She gripped the desk behind her for support. "I am so sorry, Sir", she managed to say in between the laughs.

Snape kept on laughing, now a bit more freely than before, perhaps because she was laughing as well. She could not claim that she was astonished at hearing that he had quite a deep chuckle but she was surprised when she found that she liked the sound of it.

"Apology accepted, Miss Granger," Snape said slowly when they had calmed down. "And I believe I owe you an apology, that was a low blow," he admitted carefully.

If Hermione had been shocked at hearing her Potions professor laugh, it was nothing compared to how she felt upon hearing him apologising to her. He never apologised to anyone.

"Apology accepted," she mumbled, to stunned to come up with something else to say. She noticed his cheek was starting to bruise and blushed. "I'm sorry, Sir, let me go get some bruise prevention paste," she mumbled and headed towards the students' storeroom.

Hermione returned a moment later with the paste in her hand. She opened the tube without thinking and put some on her hand. When Snape noticed what she was about to do, he protested.

"I am perfectly capable of doing that myself, Miss Granger," he muttered and shot her a warning look whilst reaching to take the tube from her hand.

"Please, Sir, it's the least I can do," Hermione replied and raised her hand towards his left cheek. She was shocked to find him flinching when she first touched his cheek and so she kept her hand still for just a moment so he could get used to the cold paste, as that was what she thought he had found uncomfortable. She then moved her fingers softly over his cheek, rubbing the paste into his skin. After another moment or so, he closed his eyes and almost leaned into her touch, something that surprised Hermione greatly but she did her best not to make her surprise evident. It was the first time she had ever seen her Potions professor looking anything similar to relaxed. She found that it pleased her that he found her touch soothing and so she caught herself rubbing the paste in for longer than was necessary. He opened his eyes the moment she removed her hand and looked at her strangely for a moment before he composed himself.

"Very well," Snape said curtly and took a step back from her. "You are dismissed, Miss Granger," he muttered and turned around and walked over to his desk. He sat down and returned to the fourth year essays he had previously been grading, without giving Hermione a second glance.

Hermione swiftly gathered her things and walked towards the door.

"Good night, professor," she said softly before closing the door behind her. As she walked through the empty dungeons corridor she considered what had just transpired between them. She had slapped a teacher and got away with it. When she thought back to what he had said before she attacked him she arrived to the conclusion that her slap was justified. What he had said had been awful. Yes, Hermione was well aware that just because he had hit a sore nerve she did not have permission go around slapping people. It really did not do to lose control the way she had.

A sudden sound in a corner to her right startled her. Out of habit, she drew her wand and approached it quietly. As she inched closer she saw that it was just a sixth year girl from Ravenclaw and a fifth year boy from Slytherin kissing. Before they noticed her, she took a step back and continued walking towards the stairs. She found it strange that she was no longer a prefect, as it meant that she could no longer deduct house points and that it was no longer her business to make sure that couples, such as the one she had just stumbled upon, were out after curfew. She smiled as she thought of the inter-house couple. Times really had changed, she mused.

Whilst Hermione was back to being just a regular student in terms of prefect roles, she did, however, enjoy some advantages. The regular curfew did not apply to her. When she had returned to Hogwarts at the beginning of term McGonagall had offered her her own set of rooms, an offer that she had gladly accepted. She now lived in her own quarters, which were located in the same corridor as the Gryffindor common room. Her quarters were nothing special, just a small sitting room with a sofa and two chairs as well as a bedroom and a bathroom. She also had a fireplace, which she was very pleased about. In her second week of term, she had secretly connected it to the Floo network, setting up charms so that she was the only one able to use it. She did not use it very often as she felt she was abusing the headmistress' trust when she did, but it was very useful if she felt like going for a drink in Hogsmeade or when she wanted to visit Harry and Ron. Not that they had time for her very often, what with their auror training and new girlfriends. They had both got together with two witches, Samantha and Sophie in the first couple of weeks at the Auror Academy. Hermione had met them once, at a Quidditch game a month earlier, and she had found them both utterly dumb. She really did not think their relationships would last very long. However, she was glad that Ron had found someone. A couple of days after the defeat of Voldemort he had approached her and claimed that he was in love with her. Hermione, who felt nothing more than sisterly love for him, had tried to let him down easy. He had not taken it well and their friendship had taken a toll but it was getting better with time. Harry and Ginny had dated for a couple of weeks over the summer but that had not worked out, and thus both boys were single when they began their auror training.

Hermione turned the final corner that landed her in front of her door, which was a portrait of a young man who was fishing in a lake.

"I hate Harry Potter", she whispered and the portrait swung open. When she had chosen her password she had decided to choose something that no one would associate her with. Since the entire wizarding world knew that Harry was her best friend, she believed no one would guess that her password was in fact "I hate Harry Potter". She stepped through the portrait hole and entered her sitting room, where she sank down on the sofa.

She lifted her wand and removed her glamour charm. Her whole body relaxed as a long, pink gash appeared on her right cheek. While she could not see it, she also knew that the scar starting on her neck, which covered her right breast, had reappeared. What many people did not know was that Hermione had been injured severely during the final fight. She had ended up duelling Bellatrix Lestrange all by herself and even though she had won the duel in the end, killing the evil woman once and for all, she had been hit by more than one evil curse.

Madame Pomfrey had tended to her the morning after the final fight and whilst she had managed to heal the cuts and stop the bleeding, there was nothing she could do about the scarring. Lestrange had used a very evil body-slicing curse, the mediwitch had told her. Whilst Hermione had accepted the scarring, the second bad news she had been told had been worse. Whilst duelling Lestrange, her lower abdomen had been hit by a curse that hadn't caused any pain. She had not had time to consider why that was during the duel and so she had simply forgotten about it. It was not until Madame Pomfrey used a spell on her, scanning her entire body for any recent changes, that the curse had made itself known.

The mediwitch had tried to break the news to her gently, even giving her a light calming draught beforehand. She had then proceeded to tell, the now very nervous, Hermione that she was infertile. Hermione had spent the next 24 hours in bed, just staring at the ceiling. She had refused to talk to anyone and had pretended to be asleep as soon as anyone approached her. It was then that she had reached a decision. Whilst she would have to live with the consequences of Lestrange's curses, she did not want to be pitied for them. Hence she made Madame Pomfrey promise not to tell anyone.

It was then and there that she had put up her first glamour charm, covering both her scars. She had modified the charm slightly, so that it was undetectable. The mediwitch was shocked to find that her patient's scars had leaked all of a sudden and had come to the conclusion that it must have been some special form of self-healing. Hermione had just smiled weakly. Ever since then Hermione had worn the glamour constantly, only taking it off when she was alone. It was quite tiring sometimes, as it required the use of her magic constantly, so she was usually very tired by the end of the day. Needless to say, she was very grateful that she had her own room.

Whilst Hermione had never really thought about having children, she had believed that she would have some at some point in her life. To have someone tell her that she would not be able to had been hard to bear. It had taken months before she had accepted that it was a part of her that she could not change and whilst she was not happy about it, there was nothing she could do about it. And so she had come to the conclusion that there was no use in thinking about it all the time, as it just made her sad.

Hermione took off the outer layer of her robes and lay down on the beige coloured sofa. It did not take long before Snape was once again the focus of her thoughts. She considered what he had said. And it was then she realized that while his insults had been aimed at her, part of them had probably been directed at himself as well. She remembered his words: "Or is it because you simply have nothing, or perhaps I should say no one, outside these walls?" Something clicked inside her head. So that was why he had returned, she mused. Snape, like her, had apparently not known what to do after the war and so they had both returned to the place where they had once felt safe. _How ironic, _she thought,_ that we returned for the same reason. _She wondered if he had perhaps noticed how she felt and if that was why he had managed to hit her weak spot with his insults. How else would he have known what to say? Then again, Snape had always been a master of insults.

"Damn!" she exclaimed as she realised that she had forgot to visit Ginny after the detention, as she had promised.

The same moment, there was a knock on the door and Hermione had just enough time to put on her glamour before she told the portrait to open for Ginny.

**Please review**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much for reviewing, reviews make me very, very happy. I know there is no Snape/Hermione action in this chapter, but I promise, there will be in the next. This chapter is slightly shorter than the other ones, but I found that it ended at a good place (a.k.a. bedtime). Enjoy.**

**Andrea xx**

"Damn!" she exclaimed as she realised that she had forgot to visit Ginny after the detention, as she had promised.

The same moment, there was a knock on the door and Hermione had just enough time to put on her glamour before she told the portrait to open for Ginny.

"Hey. I'm not disturbing you, am I? You hadn't gone to sleep already or anything?" Ginny asked cheerfully before she took in Hermione's attire and realised she was far from asleep. She plopped herself into one of the chairs next to the sofa.

"No, I just got back. Sorry, I completely forgot that I promised to go and see you," Hermione apologised and smiled as she sat down on the sofa.

"No worries, if he kept you this long I'm surprised that you're even up at all... What did the git make you do?" The redhead asked as she played with a lock of her hair.

"It's Professor Snape, Ginny" Hermione couldn't help but correct her friend. She was annoyed that even after all these years Ginny and most of her other friends refused to use any other names that derogatory ones when they talked about Snape. The fact that they did not like him did not mean that they had the right to treat him without respect, in Hermione's opinion. Especially not after everything he had done for them during the war. "He made me clean the desks without magic," she said and sighed. For some unknown reason, she didn't want to tell Ginny about the end of their detention, it felt somehow private. Also, she was certain the Slytherin would be furious if he ever found out that she had told other students that she had slapped him and got away with it.

"And still you don't think he's a git? Merlin, you're strange, 'Mione," Ginny said, sounding amused. "Any chance we could order something from the kitchens? I'm starving, barely had anything for dinner," she said and put a hand demonstratively on her stomach.

"And why would that be?" Hermione said and raised an eyebrow questioningly as her mouth turned into a small smile. She knew very well why, she simply liked to tease Ginny about it.

"Duh, you know why," Ginny laughed and shoved a pillow at her friend. "I was with Thomas".

Thomas was a seventh year boy in Ravenclaw that Ginny had recently started dating. It seemed that every time Hermione saw them, they were kissing, and teasing Ginny about it always got a laugh out of both of them.

"I do," Hermione said and grinned. "Sure, I'd quite like some coffee," she replied and after a quick spell, that McGonagall had taught her, there was a house elf standing in front of them. Having free access to the Hogwarts house elves was a privilege Hermione was very happy to have. Especially on the days when she was too tired, usually after some practical lesson, to wear her glamour but still wanted to have dinner. She had made the house elves promise not to tell anyone about her real appearance. Tonight it was her favourite elf, Minnie, who appeared. Minnie was one of several house elves that had been free once the war was over as many pure blood families had been sent to prison. As the elves had been left without anything to do, a couple of them had come to Hogwarts, offering their services. Minnie was one of these and Hermione had liked her ever since they first met back in September. She had previously served the McNair family and it was therefore no surprise that she thought Hogwarts was heaven. Tonight she was wearing a purple apron with different fruits embroidered on it as well as a bright green scarf on her head. She smiled when she saw Hermione.

"What can Minnie do for you, Misses Granger and Weasley? Perhaps Minnie can bring some tea or coffee? Scones?" Minnie said in a squeaky voice and bent down to do her customary curtsey before she remembered that Hermione did not want her to curtsey, and so she raised her back again and simply looked at Hermione sheepishly.

"Hi Minnie, sorry for calling this late," Hermione apologies. Even though many years had passed since S.P.E.W., she was still not comfortable being waited on by elves. But after long conversations with various house elves, who had assured her that they wanted to serve, she had at least accepted it, even if she still believed that they had been told to love to serve.

"That is no problem for Minnie, Miss," Minnie assured and continued: "Minnie was in the kitchens baking, so coming here is not a problem".

"When will you learn to call me Hermione?" Hermione asked with a smile but did not wait for an answer as she had asked this question numerous times already and had yet to receive a satisfactory answer. "Could you please bring me some coffee and a grapefruit, please? What would you like, Ginny?"

"Could I please have some tea and scones with strawberry jam?" her friend asked.

"Of course, Minnie will be right back, Misses!" Minnie said and with a 'pop', she had disappeared into thin air.

"Ah, I wish we could order food from the common room, you are so lucky 'Mione!" Ginny said longingly and looked at the clock on the wall next to the fireplace. "It's past eleven, how you can drink coffee at this hour is beyond me."

"You know it doesn't affect me in that way, I could probably drink three espressos and go to sleep right after," she said and stifled a yawn. The truth was, she was feeling quite tired and the glamour was taking up energy she didn't have. A shot of caffeine would help her stay awake until her friend left. She was happy to have someone to talk to, but at the same time she could not wait for her to leave so that she could go to bed.

"Anyway, how are things with Thomas?" Hermione asked with a smile, making an effort to sound curious.

"Very good," Ginny said happily. "I think they might get more… serious soon, if you know what I mean," she finished with a shy smile.

"He's not putting any pressure on you, is he?" Hermione asked carefully, not wanting to upset her friend.

"No, no!" the redhead protested quickly. "He hasn't pressured me in the slightest, and he knows that it will be my first time which I'm quite relived about. I'm just not sure I want to do it here in the castle, imagine how horrible it would be to be interrupted during your first time!"

"Well, he certainly seems like a gentleman," Hermione remarked in an approving tone. "As for not getting caught, why don't the two of you go to the Room of Requirement? During a weekend or something when no one will notice if you're gone for a couple of hours."

"'Mione you are the best! That is such a great idea, I can't believe I didn't think of it seeing how many hours I've spent in there," Ginny exclaimed, beaming at her friend. "Anyway, enough about me, how's your love life going?"

"Oh, you know, same as always, one guy per week, none of them manages to keep me interested for longer than that, but who cares, at least I get to orgasm once a week!" Hermione joked and watched Ginny's face turn into shock only to be replaced with amusement.

"Ha ha ha, very funny. Don't think for a second that you managed to dodge my question," Ginny laughed for a couple of moments before she focused her eyes on Hermione, giving her slightly older friend quite a serious glance.

"No, I haven't met anyone. And I hardly believe I will until I leave Hogwarts," Hermione stated in a cool voice, almost matter-of-factly.

"Fair enough," Ginny conceded her point. "How about last summer when you were in France?" Hermione had barely told anyone what she had been up to on her trip and she Ginny was more than a little curious.

"There was this once guy, Laurent, that I went out a couple of times, but I didn't really go to France to meet someone…" she answered and looked down at her hands that were folded in her lap. It was still very painful to even hint at her parents in a conversation.

"Of course, I'm sorry, that was a stupid question," Ginny apologized and blushed a bit. She decided to change subjects. "Did you two, you know?"

"Have sex? Yes, a couple of times." Hermione nodded and smiled slightly at the memory.

"How was it? Oh, you will have to give me some tips when I decide to do it with Thomas," she said in a pleading voice.

"The first time was not that great, but after that it was…. well suffice to say it was very good," Hermione said with a small smile, feeling slightly embarrassed. She was not very comfortable discussing anything that had to do with her body, even if it was with Ginny. Despite the fact that she had enjoyed some fun nights with Laurent, and yes, the sex had been good, she had still not been able to enjoy herself completely, as she knew that he hadn't had sex with her real body. Or at least that was how she had looked at it, seeing as she had been wearing a glamour charm at the time.

Minnie chose that moment to return to the sitting room, bringing with her a large tray with everything they had ordered. She asked if they would like something more and when they said that they didn't she left for the kitchens. Hermione and Ginny ate their food and sipped their drinks for another half hour or so before Hermione told her friend she had to go to bed, as she wanted to get up early in the morning to go to the library before breakfast. Since Hermione was known as the resident bookworm, Ginny naturally believed her excuse. They bid each other good night and Hermione dropped her glamour the moment the portrait door had closed. She sighed heavily and started to get ready for bed. Her last thought was that she really needed to find some kind of energy potion to drink when she became too tired; the glamour charm was draining her energy levels more and more every day.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N 1: Thank you very much for your reviews! I know it is unclear where the story is going (I honestly don't know myself) but I seem to have at least an idea now, it should be clearer by next chapter. I have an exam on Friday so don't know if I'll be able to post another chapter before then. I unfortunately didn't have time to proofread this chapter (it's past midnight here (Sweden) and I'm getting up at 6 am tomorrow) so I apologize in advance for any faults. Oh, and to those of you who are native English speakers, I would really appreciate it if you could point out if there are any faults (grammar, spelling, context etc.) that I seem to be repeating. English is my second language so I'm not completely confident writing in it. Enjoy.**

**Andrea xx**

**A/N 2: I have now proofread it and updated it**

**A/N 3: I have updated the part about her her age. **

* * *

><p>Hermione woke up early the next day and as she felt wide-awake, she decided to head down for breakfast early. Today she would assist McGonagall with the second years double Transfiguration, and after lunch she had Charms and double Arithmancy. She dressed quickly, reapplied her glamour charm and left her rooms. It was only half past six and the corridors were empty, which she relished. She had always loved the castle when it was empty, during late nights and early mornings. As she entered the entrance hall she heard a pair of quiet footsteps and looked up. It was Snape, dressed in his usual black attire, with robes billowing behind him. She had always suspected that he used a charm to make them billow that way, and she smiled inwardly at the thought. To her surprise, instead of insulting her or just walking past her, the way he usually did, the Potions master nodded at her. It took her by such surprise that several moments passed before she managed to nod back at him. Her shock must have amused him as he had a small smirk on his face when he entered the Great Hall. Hermione thought back at all the times she had met Snape and failed to remember that he had ever greeted her civilly. She came to the conclusion that some shift of power must have taken place between them last night. <em>How strange<em>, she thought and followed him into the Great Hall. The Gryffindor table was completely empty so there was not much to do but eat before the post arrived with her copy of the Daily Prophet. She looked up at the Head Table once or twice only to find that the Potions professor seemed to be engaged in a conversation with Professor Flitwick, who was seated next to him. Despite the fact that she wasn't that hungry, she forced herself to eat a hearty breakfast to help increase her energy levels.

Over the next days, Hermione did not see much of the Potions master. He occupied her mind fairly often, as he continued to nod at her when they walked past each other. She nodded back every time but was baffled. Hence she decided to do what she usually did when she didn't know the reason behind something - she went to the library. It only took Madame Pince a minute to find her the type of book she had been looking for – a book on customs in the wizarding world. She gratefully accepted the book and sat down on a chair next to a small reading table. Being the fast reader that she was, it only took her couple of minutes to scan the book to find what she was looking for – the section on different greetings. The chapter covered everything from the shaking of hands at the first meeting to how many pecks to give on the cheeks when you knew someone well. It seemed most traditional wizarding families preferred two pecks for some unknown reason. And surprisingly, there was a paragraph dedicated to nods. _Wizards really are traditional_, she thought, amused. The text read read:

"_When a wizard or witch is nodded at by another wizard or witch, it means that he or she is respected by the latter. While it does not mean that the latter considers the former to be his/ her equal, it does entail a certain amount of respect. It is also the standard greeting between adults who are acquainted."_

_So, Snape respects me, at least to some extent_, she thought with a smile. _And he considers me to be an adult. Strange that it took a slap to get him to respect me._ Hermione was not surprised that she was thought of as an adult, she was 19 after all. The realization that Snape considered her to be an adult that he respected, at least to some extent, felt good. She figured that it must be down to the fact that she had always sought his approval and praise in class and had not often received it. _Well, at least now I have it to some extent_, she mused with a smile.

A week had passed since Hermione's discovery and it was now the third week of November and it was getting colder. Work, both as a student and as an assistant, progressed well, were it not for one problem - she was feeling more and more exhausted day by day. She realised that she could not continue to use her glamour constantly for much longer unless she found a solution. This was something she had known would happen for some time, but she had hoped that it would have taken longer, the book she had read had suggested at least a year, and so she had not prepared for it. Several hours of research on possible energising solutions had failed to deliver a solution. The only decent solution she had found was in the shape of an energy potion called the Navitas elixir and that would take more than two months to brew. She had gone to both Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley and tried to buy one but it wasn't available as the demand for it was almost non-existent. The only person she knew that might have it in stock was Snape and she did not look forward to asking him. However, her problem was now so urgent that she decided she would have to ask him for it and if she were really, really lucky, he would have it and then she would start brewing her own.

It was Friday evening, after dinner, when Hermione had given up on sorting out the situation on her own. She had chosen Friday night to ask her professor since she would have two days to avoid him in case the conversation turned nasty. It would be the first time she talked to him alone since her detention and she could not help but be slightly curious as to if he was going to treat her differently or not. And so she found herself, dressed in muggle clothes consisting of blue jeans and a grey V-necked jumper, standing outside his office at about eight in the evening. The dungeons were cold at this time of the year and she wished that she had brought a set of robes with her. She knocked on the door and waited for a response.

"Come in," Snape's stern voice commanded from the other side of the door.

Hermione opened the door carefully and entered the Potions master's office, closing the door behind her. She noticed that he flicked his wand at it and presumed that it was a locking charm, or perhaps a silencing charm. Or, knowing him, it was probably both.

"Miss Granger," he addressed her and looked up from his desk, where he had been sitting, grading tests. He looked the same as he always did, hair quite dirty from the potion fumes and he was wearing his usual teaching attire. Whilst he did not scowl, he certainly did not smile at the student in front of him. All in all he looked unapproachable, to say the least. "What can I do for you?" he inquired and put his quill down.

"Professor," Hermione began, unsure how to continue. She was aware that if she wanted to have any chance at succeeding, she would have to choose her words wisely. "I have been feeling quite down lately, as if I lack... energy, so to speak. I did some research on it and found out about the Navitas elixir," she said, and by this point she could see her professor looking at her curiously. "I would brew it myself of course, but it takes at least two months, plus I would need a lab, and I don't think I can wait that long," she continued, wanting to draw out the question.

"Get to the point, Miss Granger," Snape said warningly.

_So much for those wizarding traditions_, Hermione thought. _It certainly doesn't seem as if he respects me._

"I wanted to ask if you have the Navitas elixir in your stores and if I could have it," she asked bluntly. "And if I could use the Potions classroom after hours to brew it myself. I read that the first dose lasts for about two weeks, than each following dose about one week each. So what I'm asking you, Sir, is if I could have enough Navitas elixir to last me for two months and if I can have access to the Potions classroom in the evenings," she finished and looked at him uncertainly. She knew it was a huge favour to ask but she really did not see any other way.

"Is this some kind of joke, Miss Granger?" Snape looked at her incredulously.

"No, Sir," she managed to get out.

"I presume you have done your research and hence know how rarely it is used. It is only ever used in the most extraordinary of situations. Most people never use it in their entire life, regardless of how _tired_ they feel," he drawled in a mocking tone. He stood up and walked around his desk so that he faced her directly. "You are 18 years old, Miss Granger, and you are currently not going through an extraordinarily difficult situation. What makes you think I would give it to you?"

_Damn it, I knew he would be reluctant but I didn't think he would mock me_, Hermione thought angrily.

"Sir, you can perform a test of my magical levels if you don't believe me, I really do need the potion," she pleaded.

"Really, Miss Granger, I thought you were more mature, just drop a NEWT or stop assisting the Headmistress if you are as tired as you say you are," Snape snapped.

"Sir, with all due respect, it's not that easy. Why don't you just check my magical levels and you will see? Please," she implored him.

Snape looked at her for a moment, as if questioning why he was still listening to her. But then he made up his mind and drew his wand.

"Very well. I hope for your sake that this is not some kind of joke," he spat and performed a magical detection charm.

Hermione had read about the spell in books but she had never imagined that it would feel quite like this. It felt as though all her magic was pulled forward, only to circle all around her body, and she noticed different shades of colour appearing like clouds around her body. A second later it was over and she felt like her normal, tired self again. She looked at her professor curiously. To her surprise, she could tell he had been surprised. It only took him a moment to cover up his surprise, but even when he did, a contemplative frown remained on his forehead.

"Have a seat," Snape said simply and gestured at the chair in front of his desk as he seated himself behind it. He looked at her for a couple of moments before he spoke. "Your magical levels are nearly drained, Miss Granger. It is a wonder you are still able to perform magic," he said flatly.

Hermione paled slightly at his words. She had not realised it was that bad.

"Either you were cursed during the war or you have some explaining to do," Snape said and motioned for her to speak.

"I know I wasn't cursed, professor, but I don't know why my magical levels are drained. I think it is simply from overexertion. If you just give me the potion I promise I will cut back on my workload. I know I was stupid to attempt to do this much," she explained, hoping it would draw his attention away from the real reason why her energy levels were so low.

"Don't lie to me, Miss Granger. Simple overexertion does not cause drainage of a person's magical level, as you very well know. Since you claim to know that you aren't cursed, I presume that you are aware of the real reason behind the drainage. I will not administer the Navitas elixir to a student without any real reason. If you want the elixir you will have to tell me the whole truth," he stated and stared into her eyes.

"Sir, I promise, there is no other reason. Please, I don't think I can go much longer without it," she pleaded.

"Tell me the real reason, Miss Granger, or stop wasting my time. However, I will check on you in five days time and if your state has deteriorated I will have you sent to the hospital wing whether you like it or not," he warned.

"But, Sir, I've told you everything I…" she tried but was interrupted.

"That is my final word, Miss Granger. Now kindly leave my office," Snape said curtly.

Hermione sighed quietly and left his office, disappointed. She had not expected him to give her the potion straight away, but she had thought that she had had a decent chance when he had checked her magical levels. _Damn him_, she thought angrily, _why couldn't he just give me the stupid elixir? _It was none of his business why she needed it; she was of age for Merlin's sake.

The following days were hard on Hermione as she felt her magical levels deteriorating by the hour. She practically stuffed herself during meals, almost eating as much as Ron usually did, as it usually boosted her energy levels for an hour or so afterwards. More than once had she felt eyes on her back and she had noticed Snape staring at her with an unidentifiable expression on his face. She tried to ignore him as best as she could but did not manage to completely, as she still had him in Potions on the following Monday.

By Tuesday evening she could take it no longer. She realised that she would collapse soon if she didn't do something. And so she found herself walking reluctantly towards a certain teacher's classroom after dinner. She knocked on the door and was let in.

Snape was once again seated behind his desk and took one look at her before he gestured at her to sit down. He waited for her to begin the conversation.

"I'm sorry I lied last time. I was cursed," she lied once again. "I duelled Bellatrix Lestrange during the final battle and she hit me with something. I've been getting weaker ever since. I didn't want to tell anyone because I thought they'd pity me. I heard the curse she used and I've looked it up and there is nothing anyone can do. Hence my need for the elixir," she explained softly.

"Enough is enough, Miss Granger. Now tell me the truth," he replied coldly.

It was then it hit her. She didn't have a choice. It was either telling him or she would end up in the hospital wing when she collapsed. And her glamour would obviously fall when that happened, so she figured this was her best option.

"I did duel Bellatrix Lestrange during the final battle," she began quietly, looking down at her hands. "She hit me with some rather nasty cutting hexes as well as a curse. Madame Pomfrey managed to stop the bleeding but she could not do anything about the scars," she explained. "And don't look at me as if I am vain, Professor, that's not it. She then told me what the curse had done, and forgive me, but I am not going to tell you that part of the story now, it is too personal and it has absolutely nothing to do with the drainage of my magical levels," she said flatly and looked into his eyes. He nodded his approval. "I found the effects of the curse too hard to deal with, especially with the scars on top, hence I didn't want anyone to know. I didn't want their pity," she said in an almost-whisper. "It was easier to just deal with the consequences without anyone watching me. So I promised Madame Pomfrey to keep quiet and covered up the scars. I made her believe that they had just healed miraculously. I've been using a glamour charm every since. The constant use of it is what has drained my magical levels," she concluded.

Snape was quiet for a couple of minutes, taking in what she had said.

"Show me," he said in a soft voice that held none of its usual menace.

Hermione hesitated for a second before she dropped the glamour charm. She felt the scars reappear on her body and shivered, at the feeling as well as the thought of them. She folded her hands defensively in front of her. It took her a moment before she dared to look at her professor's eyes, thinking she would find repulsion. To her surprise, there was only compassion there.

"I understand," he said softly. "I am truly sorry, Miss Granger."

"Didn't you hear what I just said? I don't want your pity," she muttered and looked at him with anger in her eyes.

"You misunderstand," he said simply. "I am not sorry about your scars, Miss Granger. I am sorry that you feel the need to cover your body," he paused but did not wait for her to speak before he continued. "We all have our scars from the war, some more than others. You did the wizarding world a great service and should not feel obliged to hide your face as a consequence," he stated matter-of-factly.

"That is all very _nice_, Professor," she muttered sarcastically, "but what I need to know is, will you help me?"

Snape's reply came quickly. "Yes," he said. "However, we need to come up with a better solution. I will give you the Navitas elixir tonight but it is only a temporary solution. I don't suppose I could persuade you to stop using the glamour?"

"No, Sir."

"I will do some research. Please be here on Friday after dinner. But for now, stay here and I will retrieve the elixir," Snape said and left the room.

Hermione could not believe the relief she felt. Relief that she was going to get some much needed energy. Relief that he had not shied away from her when she revealed her scars. Relief that someone finally shared her secret. It felt good.

Snape returned a moment later carrying a tiny vial, which he handed to her.

"It contains three drops, it should be enough," he explained and motioned for her to drink it.

Hermione did not need to be asked twice and she quickly down the elixir. She had hoped the relief would be immediate but was disappointed.

"It will take a couple of hours before it starts working, Miss Granger. I thought you said you had done your research, " he said with a small smirk and it was obvious to both of them he didn't mean it as an insult. "Go to bed now and try to sleep for at least eight hours and you shall wake up feeling like a new person. Don't hesitate to call for me should your health deteriorate," he offered.

"Thank you so much, Sir. For everything," she said softly and looked at him gratefully.

"You are welcome, Miss Granger. Now kindly go to bed," he urged her, sounding very tired all of a sudden.

"Yes, yes," she gave him a small smile and left for her quarters, feeling better than she had in weeks.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi everyone! Thank you very much indeed for your reviews. And thanks to those of you who complimented me on my English, it made me really happy. I'm sorry I haven't been able to update until now, I had an exam last Friday and have another one on Saturday, as well as presentations in between, so have been really busy at uni. Will try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible, writing is going easier now that I have a sort of plot. Oh, and I have now proofread last chapter and updated it. **

**Enjoy!**

**Andrea xxx**

When Wednesday morning came, Hermione almost jumped out of bed. She had not felt this good since, well, since never. The last time her body had felt this amazing, physically, she had been worrying about Voldemort, which meant that she hadn't been feeling all that great really. She quickly got out of bed, wanting to use her newfound energy as soon as possible. As she had more than an hour before breakfast began, she figured that she would go for a run, something she hadn't done for at least ten months. She dressed in her usual running clothes, a pair of black muggle leggings and a loose jumper, and put on her glamour. It took her almost ten minutes to find her jogging shoes but, when she finally did, it only took her a moment to put them on. It took all her restraint not to start running in the corridors as she made her way out of the castle. She broke into a light jog the moment she had closed the entrance doors.

As was the case when she usually went jogging, she didn't really care where she ran. She didn't even notice where, as a matter of fact. It only took five minutes of jogging before she realized that she was not in her usual shape. She slowed down but it did not affect her mood in the slightest. She continued jogging for another twenty minutes, up to the point where she felt she couldn't run another yard. It annoyed her slightly that she wasn't able to run at her usual pace and time, usually she ran for at least 45 minutes. Then again, it had been almost six months since she had last done any kind of physical exertion so figured that was to be expected. After walking around for about ten minutes to get her breathing back to normal, she sat down under a tree near the lake. She simply looked at the lake and enjoyed the fact that she had energy again. As she was lost in her own thoughts, she didn't notice the person approaching her.

"I see you have got your energy back, Miss Granger," Snape remarked and looked down at her sitting under the tree.

Hermione was slightly startled at the sound of his voice but quickly regained her composure and managed to get out a reply.

"Yes, I have, Sir," she answered and flashed him a big smile. "Thank you so much for the elixir".

Snape looked slightly uncomfortable to be the object of her smile and gratitude and he only nodded his acknowledgement at her words.

"You know, I had forgotten that it was possible to feel this good," she said softly and looked at him with eyes that seemed somehow sad. "That it is possible to go for a run and only be tired for a couple of minutes and then feel invigorated," she said and found that she needed to explain herself. "I mean, of course I _know_ in my head that it is possible but I had forgotten the feeling," she added, not wanting to sound stupid.

Snape stared at her with an unidentifiable expression and looked as though he was contemplating what to say next.

"I know what you mean," he said slowly, as if slightly unsure of himself.

It didn't take Hermione more than a moment to realize that the reason he had said his last sentence almost carefully was that he also had taken the Navitas elixir at some point in his life.

"So that is why you had it in your stores," she stated, searching his eyes for any sign that she had overstepped some invisible line.

"Yes".

Hermione took his short reply as a sign that he was not willing to discuss it with her. To be honest, she would have been very surprised if he had, but she still felt a twinge of disappointment at the fact that he hadn't.

"Whilst I am not completely oblivious to the beauty of the lake on a morning like this, I do believe that it is time for breakfast," he said neutrally and offered Hermione his hand.

She looked surprisedly at his outstretched hand for just a second before she took it and let him help her up to a standing position.

"What, pray tell, are you wearing?" Snape asked with humour in his voice.

"Please don't tell me you exercise in your usual robes," she said, amused.

"Of course I don't, but I certainly don't run wearing… tights," he said indignantly after staring at her leggings, trying to find the right word for them.

"They are running leggings, muggle clothes for exercising. And yes, whilst I would be surprised if I saw you wearing these, it would be an amusing scene, so please consider it. I'm sure I could transfigure a pair to your size," Hermione said laughed slightly. It was then she realised that she was still holding his hand. She figured that he was too polite to remove his hand from her grip but found, to her surprise, that he still, unawarely, held on to her hand as well. Knowing that the situation could get very awkward if he noticed their contact, she gave his hand a gentle squeeze and let go of it.

"You will do no such thing!" he protested, pretending to look horrified at the thought, but it was obvious that he was amused. His eyes held a special glint and the left corner of his mouth was quirked up into what could be called a resemblance of a smile.

"Be careful, maybe I'll transfigure them onto you during a lesson," she smiled. She had noticed him tense at her acknowledging that they had been holding hands and wanted to tell him that she hadn't minded, that, really, it had been quite nice, but figured the situation would only get worse if she did. Before he could reply, she added: "Anyway, breakfast it is". She gave his arm a gentle squeeze and together they walked in companionable silence to the castle. Both of them were unaware that they had forgone the use of their usual titles after the first couple of phrases.

They stopped just outside the doors to the castle.

"I will see you Friday evening, Miss Granger," Snape said and gave her a quick nod before he entered the castle, black robes billowing behind him.

The change in Hermione was obvious. Professor McGonagall commented on the difference in her in their weekly meeting on Thursday afternoon, saying that she had never seen her favourite student look this well before. When she asked Hermione what had happened, Hermione had simply smiled and said "I have just started going to bed earlier." In Charms, she performed her strongest shielding charm ever. Ginny had, of course, noticed the change in Hermione the very first morning after she had taken the elixir. Whilst Ginny had not really noticed how tired she had been before, she noticed straightaway how energetic Hermione was. Hermione thought back to the breakfast on Wednesday morning.

"Are you in love, Hermione? Oh, please tell me who it is!" Ginny had asked as soon as she had noticed the difference in her friend.

"No, Ginny, I've just managed to get more sleep recently," Hermione replied, wondering if she really had the look of a woman in love about her. She certainly hoped not.

"Hermione, you would tell me if you met someone, wouldn't you?" Ginny pleaded with her as she helped herself to more toast.

"Yes, of course I would," Hermione assured her and carried on with eating her breakfast. It was nice not to have to eat for two people anymore; she had never been that big of an eater anyway.

At dinner on Friday night, Hermione was feeling rather curious as to what her Potions professor was going to say. She ate quickly and only spoke if she was asked a question. Ginny asked her if she would like to play poker with her and two other girls after supper but Hermione passed, saying that she had lesson plans to write for next week. As soon as she saw Snape leave the Great Hall, she made her excuses and left the hall.

The door to Snape's office was ajar; apparently he had foreseen that she would come straight down here after supper. She knocked once on the door.

"Come in, Miss Granger," called Snape's voice and she entered his office. Once more he put locking and silencing spells on the room. He gestured at the chair opposite his desk. She sat down.

"Good evening, Professor, " she greeted and gave him a small smile.

"Miss Granger," he acknowledged. Snape was not the kind of person who beat around the bush and so he wasted no time on pleasantries. "I have a proposal to make," he began. "As you may know, it is not healthy to take the Navitas potion for extended periods of time. It is unknown exactly how long a person can take it for, but I believe six months, possibly eight, is the maximum amount of time. After that, your body will be unable to digest it. As there are some very potent and dangerous ingredients in the elixir, consuming it when your body cannot digest it is unwise. The Navitas potion does not actually raise your energy levels, what it does is supply magical energy that you can use, however, your body adjusts to it more and more for every dose you take. That is why you will have to take it more and more often by every dose you take. However, my point is that the Navitas elixir is not a permanent solution for you". Snape paused for his words to sink in.

Hermione nodded at what he had said and felt her mood sink. What was she going to do when she became immune to it?

"Before the war started again, I was working on a scar-removal potion for scars created with dark magic. I did, unfortunately, not have the time to give it all the attention it needed, due to my serving two masters as well as teaching Potions".

Hermione was shocked at hearing him speak so frankly of serving both Voldemort and Dumbledore. But why not, she figured, they were both dead by now. And Snape knew that she knew that he had been serving both of them.

"I have a couple of ideas of how to succeed in making the potion and I now have the time to do it. I would therefore like to suggest that you and I give it another try," he said and looked at her expectantly.

"You want me to help you?" Hermione asked sounding surprised.

"Yes, if that is not too much to ask," he said sarcastically. "You are decent at potions making and this potion would be for you, so I fail to see any reason why you should not be of assistance".

"Of course, Sir. I would naturally be very grateful if we could do it. However, what I don't get is why you would do it for me," she said softly and looked at him curiously.

"Let's just say that I know what it is like to carry a mark that people pity you for and that I do not wish anyone else to go through the same treatment," he said softly and his gaze bore into brown eyes. "You are not the only one with scars from the war, if we were to succeed in creating this potion, I am confident a great deal of people would be grateful," he continued. "So, what do you say?"

"Well, of course I want to be of assistance, Professor. And thank you. I don't know how to express my gratitude…" she trailed off, trying to convey her gratitude with her eyes.

"That is not necessary, Miss Granger. I am glad you have accepted my proposal. Now, there are a few terms I would like to settle before we discuss our project further," he said and leaned forward slightly in his chair. "For this partnership to work I think it would be best if we treated each other as equals. I think the use of our first names, only when we are alone of course, would facilitate that, do you agree, Miss Granger?" Snape asked and waited for her response.

"Yes, Sir" she managed to get out, hardly believing the fact that he had just allowed her to call him Severus.

"Severus," he corrected in a soft voice. "We will be working in my private laboratory and I will grant you access to my personal library so that you will be able to do the same research that I have done. Access to these rooms is, as I am certain you realise, not something I would usually grant a student. I expect that you will treat the privilege well," he said and looked at her seriously, but kindly.

"Yes, of course… Severus," she replied, trying out his name. It felt strange but good to say it. Unsurprisingly, being able to use his first name felt private, she had not heard many people do it.

"Good. I have one last term. When we are alone, I want you to remove your glamour charm," Snape said in a serious tone.

"I would really appreciate it if I could wear it, Prof…Severus, I don't feel comfortable otherwise," she said quietly and looked down at the floor, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"Then allow me to present my reasons for not wanting you to use it," Snape said in a stern tone. "Look at me, Hermione," he asked and waited for her to do so. "Firstly, we will be working with highly volatile ingredients and I don't want any unnecessary charm, especially not an undetectable," he paused and raised an eyebrow at her, "near those ingredients. Secondly, the less you wear the glamour, the less your magical levels will drain and so you will be able to last better once you will have to go without the elixir. Despite that, I don't believe you will have the energy to use the glamour for more than a couple of weeks after you stop taking the elixir. Thirdly, in the event that we will not succeed in creating the potion, which is a possibility, and we do not come up with another solution for you, there is the possibility that you will have to get used to living with your scars. If you are used to showing them to at least one other person, I am certain the transition will be easier for you. Do you understand my reasons, Hermione?" Snape asked and cocked his head slightly.

"Yes," Hermione said quietly. She closed her eyes for a second and collected herself before she dropped the glamour. Even though it was the second time she did it in front of him, she felt very vulnerable. She trailed the pink gash on her cheek and felt very self-conscious. She supposed she should be grateful that she had worn her robes, they covered the second scar almost completely, and there was only a tiny bit of it visible on her neck. That was the biggest scar, more red than pink, and she rarely, if ever, looked at her torso and breasts in the mirror anymore.

"You needn't look so scared, Miss Gr…Hermione. I am neither repulsed nor disgusted if that is what you think I am," Snape assured her.

"If you say so," she replied. She really tried to believe him but it was hard, especially since she herself was repulsed and disgusted by herself.

"I do," he confirmed. "I appreciate that it is hard for you after covering the scars for so many months, but I am certain it will get easier with time. Now, I believe it is time I showed you where we will be working, follow me," he said and stood up. He walked over to a bookcase on the left side of his desk and pulled out a red book, opened it and whispered something, closed it and put it back on the shelf. He stood back and the bookcase turned into a doorway.

"The password is "sine labore nihil" and you have to say it to the woman sitting on the cliff in the picture on page 12," Snape said and motioned for her to enter the doorway.

"Why I am not surprised that that is your password?" Hermione said with a smile, making it obvious that she wasn't mocking him. She entered the doorway and he followed suit.

"**Sine labore nihil" is Latin for "nothing without work". **


	6. I have a question

Hi everyone,

This last chapter has had more than 300 visitors since it was posted less than 24 hours ago. Yet it's received only one review (thank you!). I'm not complaining about the lack of reviews because I think the story deserved more; I simply want to ask you if it is worth continuing. I honestly don't mind if you tell me I shouldn't continue it, I'd rather find out than waste my time writing it. Please let me know your opinions.

Andrea xx


	7. Chapter 6

**Thank you so much for all your kind reviews. I would like to point out that I definitely do not expect all of you to review every single chapter, I simply wanted to know if there was anyone out there reading this story or if all of you just clicked on it and then decided it was no good. I will keep writing but as my muse doesn't always visit me when I want her to, I'm afraid I won't be able to post regularly. That said, I'll try to write as often as I can, which means that sometimes you'll get chapters two days in a row, like this week, and sometimes none for a week. Whilst I would like to reply to all your reviews, I figured you'd rather I post the next chapter, and so I only replied to the longer ones, hope you don't mind.**

**Oh, and I included a part from Severus' point of view in this chapter, if it is confusing (or if you prefer reading from Hermione's POV) just let me know and I'll go back to only writing from Hermione's POV. **

**Andrea xxx**

**VampiresAreCool: **I get your point and I agree with you to some extent. I write certain stories that are just for me and I have no problem continuing writing those when I feel like it, regardless of the fact that I don't show them to anyone (and so get no feedback). However, when I do post something (which I find quite scary) I find it quite discouraging to get no feedback (I realise this is just something I should get used to but I find it hard sometimes…) and therefore think that the story might not be that good – and that thought makes it hard to keep writing even if it just for myself.

**SalvationsSin101: **Thank you very much, will keep writing.

**Lostmariner4803: **You've got a fair point, and rest assured, I don't expect you to review after every chapter

**Veronica Mitchell: **You are right of course, I think the reason why I was wondering if anyone was reading the story was because I am quite an impatient person :P And no, you won't have to worry about cliffhangers, I generally don't like them. (Plus, I have made the mistake before of writing a cliffhanger before actually knowing myself what was going to happen and that made writing the next chapter more than little difficult…

**Sir-Anthony-Pers: **Thank you so much for that compliment, I hadn't even thought of it that way. But of course you're right, people shouldn't feel the need to hide their scars.

**CameronSister: **Don't worry, I know the feeling. Whilst I am comfortable writing in English now, that wasn't the case before (check out my older stories if you want to see how my English has changed). If it's any consolation, reading HP fanfiction when I was younger boosted my English skills enormously.

**DutchBaroness: **You've got a fair point, I suppose it can be a bit like homework :P

**Here goes:**

Hermione found herself in a sitting room. It was neither big nor small; there was enough space for two sofas and two chairs. The furniture was in different shades of beige and brown, with a coffee table made out of mahogany in between the sofas. Books and magazines, most of which were half open, covered the coffee table. From the little she could see of the walls, she assumed they were deep green, but as the majority of them were covered by bookcases she really could not see much of them. There were no paintings or photographs. On the wall opposite the one they had entered through, there was a large window that showed a splendid view the lake. As it was an evening in November, it was almost pitch black outside and the only visible light was the moon reflected on the surface of the water. Apart from the door that they had entered through, which looked like any normal door from this side, there were four other doors, at least two of which Hermione presumed lead to Snape's bathroom and bedroom.

Snape took off his outer robes and hung them over the back of a chair. Despite relieving himself of a layer, he was still wearing a shirt, a waistcoat and a suit jacket. He seated himself in one of the chairs and gestured for her sit down on the sofa next to it.

"Tea?" he asked.

"Some coffee would be great if that is not too much of an inconvenience," she replied and sat down on the sofa. This felt very strange indeed. It was the first time she had ever been in a teacher's quarters and to be sitting here, with Snape of all people, was more than a little odd.

Snape called for a house elf and ordered some tea as well as coffee. It surprised her to hear that he was more polite than was necessary to the elf.

"Before we decide on a schedule, what does your schedule look like?" he asked.

"Well, I am free pretty much every night, as well as Saturday and Sunday during the day. However, I have homework and lesson planning to do as well so I would appreciate it if I could have two nights as well as half the day free on either Saturdays or Sundays," she replied.

"That is acceptable. How about we work on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday nights as well as Saturdays during the day? That will leave you with three nights a week as well as Sunday during the day to do your other work," he suggested.

"That sounds perfect," she accepted.

The house elf returned with their drinks and put them on the table in front of them. Hermione poured herself a cup of coffee and added some milk to it.

"Won't you have trouble sleeping after the coffee?" Snape asked her curiously as he took a sip of his tea.

"The caffeine doesn't get to me as much as it used to, and I much prefer the strong taste of it to tea. Plus, sleeping has never really been an issue for me," she explained and held the cup in her hands in an effort to warm up her hands that were always slightly cold during the winter half of the year.

"As I have told you, I first started on this project years ago and so I have done a fair bit of research already. This is just a suggestion, of course, but I think it would be wise if you were to catch up on some of it before we started the brewing. I would be happy to show you the books that I have found most useful."

"Yes, that sounds good," Hermione agreed. She had already thrown more than a couple longing glances at his books.

"You may borrow any book you like, though I would appreciate it if you didn't take any of the books outside of this room. You are, however, welcome to come here and read whenever you want," he offered, apparently having followed her eyes to the books. He stood up and walked over to a shelf, pulled out a volume and turned to another bookcase and repeated the process. Ten minutes and twelve books later, there was a neat pile of books on the floor.

"These are the ones I have found most useful. I suggest you start with _Magical scars and how to heal them_ in order to get a basic idea of how the healing process of normal magical scars usually works. After that you may choose the order."

"Thank you."

"Since I assume you want the real object of our project to remain a secret, I think the best idea would be to tell people that you are helping me create a variation of another potion. The Wolfsbane would be a good cover, I have been meaning to start research on it again anyway, I just haven't found the time."

"Yes, that sounds good," she nodded gratefully, not wanting to say "thank you" yet another time.

They sat in companionable silence for a couple of minutes, enjoying their drinks. Hermione was surprised that she felt this comfortable in his company. Of course she was still disturbingly aware of her scars but at least they were not the focal point of her mind. She didn't feel as self-conscious as she had thought she would.

"Would you mind if I started reading now?" Hermione asked shyly, hoping he would not find her rude. To her surprise, his lips curled into something that could almost be considered a smile.

"Yes, you may," Snape replied and handed her the book he had recommended that she start with. He picked up one of the magazines, _Potions Monthly Asia_, from the coffee table and began reading.

**Severus' POV**

It was well past eleven when Snape's internal clock told him that it was getting late. He put back the magazine he had been reading and looked at the student laying on the sofa in front of him. She had spread out on the sofa gradually and was now lying down, with her head resting on an armrest. Her shoes had been kicked off more than an hour ago and were on the floor. For some unknown reason, it pleased him to see her this comfortable, especially seeing as how awkward she had looked in his office when she had removed her glamour charm.

As she was focusing all her attention on the book in her hands, he seized the opportunity to get a proper look at her scars. He had made himself look away rather quickly before, not wanting her to feel as though she was an animal in a cage when she showed her scars. He himself was all too familiar with that particular feeling and it was not something he would wish upon anyone, especially not his partner. The pink scar on her right cheek was thin and it was obvious to him that Bellatrix Lestrange had used a very sharp cutting hex. Whilst it did not take up a large part of her face, it was very visible, in sharp contrast to her otherwise pale skin. He saw the beginning of another scar on her neck and wondered if she had other scars on her body.

It was strange for him having a student in his chapters. He had really made an effort trying to act civil and hoped that he had not been rude. It would make their work so much easier if they could act as equal partners. The insult he had dealt her in detention concerning her family, or rather lack thereof, had not been something he had actually wanted to say, it had just slipped out, out of habit. When she had slapped him, he had been too stunned to react with anger and then the situation had just seemed hilarious all of a sudden and so he had laughed. Whilst he knew he would find it hard not to taunt her, since it had been a habit of many years, he knew that their work would not progress if they did not get along. Hence he had to been in control of his temper.

To his surprise, the Gryffindor girl was proving to be more mature than he had given her credit for. Whilst he found it slightly disconcerting, it would certainly make their partnership a lot easier. It seemed that their attitude to work was fairly similar. He was not surprised that she had wanted to begin her research straight away; he would have done the same.

It took him another five minutes of looking at her before it occurred to him that he should send her on her way, as it was almost midnight.

"Hermione," he said tentatively, trying to get her attention. When she didn't respond, he raised his voice slightly and tried again. "Hermione, it is late."

Hermione put the book down and looked at him surprised. She was obviously not aware of how much time had passed and he found himself smile inwardly; he was the same when he was reading an interesting book.

"It is almost midnight, you have been reading for more than three hours. You should go back to your quarters," he said and watched her sit up and put her shoes back on.

"Yes, of course, sorry, I wasn't aware that it was this late," she replied with a sheepish look on her face and put the book on the table in front of her.

"No need to apologize," he muttered, annoyed at her constant gratitude and apologies. If they turned out to be a habit of hers, he would have to have a talk with her, he decided. He stood up.

"Good night, Sir, I mean, Severus," the Gryffindor said with a small smile and walked towards the door. She stopped for a second and put her glamour back on.

He noticed that she tensed a little, as if she prepared to face the world outside of these walls.

"I will see you tomorrow, Severus."

He simply nodded at her and watched her leave the room.

Snape stood near the door for a couple of moments, contemplating the evening. He was happy that he had managed to convince her to remove the glamour charm, but was rather surprised that she had not put on more of a fight. _Then again, why would she feel the pressure to look good in front of me_, he thought. He was well aware of the fact that he was not good looking in the slightest. While he sometimes wished that were not the case, he had long since learned to accept his physique and to be grateful that it had served him as well as it had. He sighed and decided to go to bed. It always took him at least an hour to fall asleep; regardless of what time he went to bed, so he figured he might as well head towards the bedroom.


	8. Chapter 7

**Hello,**

**Thank you so much for your reviews, I really appreciate hearing from you. And I was glad you like the part from Snape's POV, there will be a part (possibly the whole chapter) in the next chapter. **

**Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas wherever you are! I'll be at home (Stockholm, Sweden) celebrating with my family and relatives. We decorated our Christmas tree yesterday so now I'm really excited about Saturday (we celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve in Sweden). **

**Andrea xxx**

**Starlywarly:** Thank you. It makes me happy knowing that someone who's gone through a similar experience as Hermione likes the way I write about it. I have no personal experience of scars so am just writing about them as how I think I would react if I had one.

**Veronica Mitchell:** Good question. When I posted my first fic here, years ago, I did it this way because I noticed that's how everyone else did it. Now, I think I prefer this way (probably because I'm used to it) and because I think it's quicker than using the PM system.

**That said, you're all free to PM me if you want to :)**

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><p>The first two weeks of their project went past quietly. Hermione came down to the dungeons on their scheduled days and nights and spent the time reading, after two weeks she had managed to get through almost all the assigned books and was to start on the last one. Snape usually left her alone in his sitting room, he was often in his study marking essays but sometimes he would in the laboratory brewing potions for the infirmary. On the evenings, he would usually return around ten o'clock and then they would have tea and coffee and discuss what she had read. Hermione had been surprised to find that Snape was actually a decent teacher when he didn't spend half his time insulting her. Instead, he took his time explaining theories to her, even going over them another time if there was something she didn't understand. Two weeks after her first dose of the Navitas elixir, Snape had wordlessly handed her another dose, saving her the trouble of asking for it.<p>

On the first couple of days of their project, she had found it hard to drop her glamour charm and had pretended to forget about it, hoping Snape would just let it go. Instead, Snape had simply given her a stern look and bent his head slightly as if to point it out to her. He refused to address her before she had taken it off, something she had found very infuriating at first. By now she had reached the conclusion that the less fuss she made about it the quicker she could get started on her reading and so she had taken up the habit of removing her glamour charm as soon as she entered his office. It felt very odd indeed, to be able to enter his office when he wasn't there, not to mention his private quarters. Usually, when she stepped into his office it was empty and she found it rather disconcerting to stand there alone, it was far from cosy after all, and so she usually hurried into the unarguably more comfortable sitting room. She had sat in the same sofa ever since the first night, two weeks ago, and she had quickly come to think of it as her sofa. Snape usually sat in the chair next to it.

On this particular day, it was Friday night and it was the eleventh time Hermione was in the sitting room. She had been here for three hours already and had yet to see any sign of Snape, whom she presumed was in his laboratory. The book she had just finished was called "_Subtle offensive potions – how to cause harm without your victim noticing_". Needless to say, Hermione was not surprised that the book could not be found in the Hogwarts library. Apart from dark potions books, such as this one, she had also read books concerning curses: "_Obscure slicing curses and how to learn them_", medical potions: "_The 100 most common healing potions_" and scars: "_Scars caused by magic – can they be healed_?" By now, she had a general idea of how the healing process of a scar through potions was meant to work, when it was possible to find the right ingredients for the curse or hex.

Hermione recalled their conversation on Monday night. They had been sitting in his sitting room, sipping their usual drinks – tea and coffee.

"So, basically there is no ingredient that all scar removal potions and salves contain?" Hermione concluded and looked at Snape for confirmation.

"No, there isn't."

"And, in theory, in order for a potion to remove a scar caused by magic, the dose as well as the quantity of each ingredient in the potion or salve would have to be in exact proportion to the magical pattern in the affected area of the skin?"

"Indeed."

"But how come basic scar removal potions work without anyone knowing the magical pattern?"

"The reason behind that is not entirely clear but most potioneers believe that it is because the dose is larger than the amount required by the magical pattern of the skin. Larger doses than necessary do, however not, work on scars caused by rare curses or hexes."

"How does one find out the magical pattern?" Hermione asked, pinpointing their problem immediately.

"If I knew that, our job would be done," Snape said dryly and took a sip of his tea.

"What is a magical pattern anyway? There was no real explanation in the books and all I gathered was that it seems quite abstract."

"As you already know, our magic is embedded in every single part of us. Even though the magic of different people look similar, each individual has her own magic – or magical pattern."

"Like the lines we have on our palms?" Hermione suggested.

"Yes, I suppose that it is a decent metaphor."

"The book clearly stated that the magical pattern is different in a magically scarred area, is that because of the magic of the curse or hex?"  
>Snape nodded his confirmation.<p>

"So, basically, all we need to do is find a way to look at the magical pattern."

"Don't forget I've already spent months on this, and I've yet to succeed," he said curtly as though she had just accused him of being stupid.

"Of course, I simply meant that there is only one thing we need to focus on, I didn't mean to insinuate that it is an easy task. I, for one, haven't got the slightest idea of where to start, I need to," she said but was interrupted.

"Do some more reading?" Snape suggested and his lips crooked into what looked like a resemblance of a smile. "Indeed, Hermione, what would you do without books?" he teased her.

"Very funny," Hermione said with a chuckle. "You know, if you wanted to insult me for my ah, what was the term you used the other night, yes, my 'childish obsession with literature' as it made me 'escape the harsh reality of the real world', you better hide your own books first, because I have reason to believe," she continued in a dramatic voice and gestured towards the bookcases, "that you share my obsession," she finished with a smirk.

"Oh, those are just for show. I have a reputation to uphold," Snape replied with an amused glint in his eyes.

"Do you now? Let me guess what the reputation holds," Hermione said and pretended to contemplate the matter for a moment. "That you are a vampire who does nothing but read all day and night? Or perhaps you are pretending to be a scholar and you therefore have the library of a scholar so that you can fool anyone who walks in here?"

"Yes, because there are hundreds, if not thousands, of people walking through this room every day," he said in a dry, but amused, tone. "But yes, you figured out my secret – I don't know how to brew any other potions than the ones on the syllabus," he continued in a melodramatic whisper.

"So I could just take any book I wanted to?" Hermione stood up and walked over to a bookcase. "Seeing as you don't enjoy reading as much as I do, they're a waste of space here," she said with a teasing smile and pulled out two thin old-looking books from the bookcase.

"Please do, I'm certain those two books will hold your interest for weeks, if not months. They really are some of the best books ever written," Snape said seriously and waited for her to read the titles of the books she held.

Hermione looked down on the books and snorted out of annoyance.

"Damn, why couldn't I have picked any other books than '_Quidditch through the ages' _and '_Fantastic beasts and where to find them'_?" She put them back in the bookcase.

Snape gave a light chuckle upon seeing her annoyed

"Why do you even have these? I always thought you were as fond of Quidditch as you are of 'foolish wand waving' and the second one, well, that has got to be the worst book on the subject. It's really only suitable for first years," she said and smiled slightly when she saw him chuckle.

"You said it yourself. Only suitable for a first year – well I've kept both of them since."

"But still, '_Quidditch through the ages_'?" Hermione questioned with a hint of distaste as she walked back to the sofa.

"Hermione, have you ever thrown away any of your books?" Snape asked knowingly. "Or do you keep them stored somewhere?"

"Touché," she muttered. "Except I don't own '_Quidditch through the ages_'," she said and raised her chin in a snobbish pose.

"Not that I have to explain myself to you, but it was a gift," Snape said in a mock-indignant voice.

"Fair enough," Hermione conceded. "Actually, you should say 'touché' to me, because you admitted to being as fond of books as I am," she said and her mouth formed into a satisfied smirk.

"No, for all you know, those are the only two books I've kept for that long," Snape protested.

"Really," the Gryffindor replied doubtingly and stood up as if she was going back to the bookcase.

"Fine, now I will say 'touché'," he muttered in an angry voice but his eyes were sparkling with amusement. "What gave me away?"

"There are two kinds of people, the ones that keep every book they've ever owned and the ones that throw the books they've read away. For someone who claimed to belong to the latter group, you knew an awful lot about the former," she explained and leaned back in the sofa.

"Yes, well, why throw away a book you might need some other time," he asked rhetorically.

"My sentiments exactly."

Hermione smiled as she recalled the way his eyes had sparkled with amusement. She put down the finished book and heard a sound come from the laboratory. A moment later Snape entered through the door to the laboratory, looking rather tired.

"Good evening," Hermione greeted him and gave him a smile.

He nodded at her, took off his cloak and opened a small cupboard that was built-in in one of the bookcases. He took out a bottle of brandy and a glass before he looked at her and raised the bottle questioningly at her.

"Why not," she said and watched him fetch another glass. Instead of sitting down gracefully, which he usually did, he sank down in his favourite chair and filled both glasses generously. He wordlessly handed her one. She raised her glass in a silent toast and took a large gulp. The liquid burned more than a little in her throat but she relished the feeling. Normally she wasn't too fond of brandy but tonight it tasted surprisingly good – she assumed it was a different brand than the ones she had tried before. She looked over at her professor and was surprised to find that he had closed his eyes. She seized the opportunity to give him the once-over and noticed that he looked very tired, almost exhausted. His hair hung limply on both sides of his face and looked quite oily, as if he had been standing over potions fumes for hours. Knowing him, he probably had. He chose that moment to open his eyes and gave her a cautious glance, having noticed that she had been staring at him. It was obvious he didn't like the attention.

"Are you okay?" Hermione asked and looked at him strangely. The concern in her voice was evident.

"Why wouldn't I be?" he snapped at first and then looked as if he regretted it. He took a big gulp of his brandy and turned to her once more. "I am simply tired," he settled on and leaned back in his chair, glass still in his hands.

"Rough day?" she asked softly.

"I suppose you could say that," he said in a hoarse voice.

"You can tell me if you want," she said simply and looked down at her glass, giving him a moment. By now, Hermione had learned a few tricks when it came to talking to the man. There was simply no point in asking him to tell her about his day in a straightforward way; he would only refuse to reply. Instead, the trick was to show him that she would be willing to listen, but that he didn't have to tell her if he didn't want to.

Snape was quiet for a few minutes and seemed lost in his own thoughts. He seemed to relax more and more by the minute, a natural consequence of the alcohol. He refilled his glass and took another sip.

"Yes, I suppose I could," he finally said and looked her in the eyes. "I did something unforgivable on this day, nineteen years ago," he began and his eyes turned dark as if he was reliving the memory of that night. "10 December 1979."

After he had been quiet for some time, Hermione realised that the memory must be too painful for him to discuss.

"And the memories come flooding back, every year?" she asked softly, not wanting to upset him.

"I can't sleep," he admitted and looked at a spot on the wall over her right shoulder.

"On the night before?" she inquired.

"And the one following." He was quiet for another minute or so and then put his glass down on the table and rose. "You're welcome to stay here but I think I have to be alone, good night," he said and walked towards his bedroom.

"No, I'll go, these are your quarters," Hermione said in a soft voice and walked over to the door leading to his office. She was reluctant to leave him in this state but realised that it was none of her business, if he wanted to be alone in his own quarters, there was nothing she could do about it.

"Good night, Severus," she said softly and exited through the door as she replaced her glamour charm.

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><p><strong>AN: The part about magical patterns is stolen from an amazing fanfic I read some time ago but I've unfortunately forgotten the name of it and the author, if any of you know which one I mean, PM me and I'll give credit where credit is due. The concept of magical patterns will, however, be more similar to the genetics us muggles are used to =P than the way it was written in the other fanfic. **


	9. Chapter 8

**Once again, thank you so much for your reviews! **

**If you like to listen to music while you read, I should tell you that I listen to Maria Mena and Lana Del Rey pretty much non-stop when I write this fic. They really are two amazing singers! **

**In this chapter, I tried really hard not to include any form of sexual tension or romantic attraction (it was difficult, believe me), if the nature of their friendship (that's what it is at the moment, nothing more). If you think it is a bit blurred towards romance, please let me know and I'll try to tone it down a bit. When Snape thinks about Hermione deserving a good man, I really do mean that he thinks about other men with her, not himself. **

**Merry Christmas!**

**Andrea xxx**

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><p>As Hermione got ready for bed that night, she could not stop thinking about Snape. The sad look in his eyes was not a good sign; it reminded her of how she had felt when she had mourned her parents. She wondered what he was up to right now. After washing her face and brushing her teeth thoroughly, her parents had been dentists after all, she entered her bedroom. Her bed was cold so she performed a quick heating charm on herself and sighed contentedly. It felt strange thinking about Snape in this way, she had not realised that she cared for him this much. Of course she had been aware that she cared for him like she did any teacher or order member, but now it felt different. In only two weeks time he had seemed to move from the "teacher group" to the "friends" one. Or at the very least, he stood with one foot in each. She imagined him sitting in his chair, getting more and more inebriated as he finished the bottle of brandy. Or perhaps he had already passed out drunk on his bed. Or he was back in his laboratory, trying to focus on something else.<p>

Hermione was unsure as to how she reached her decision, but she found she could no longer bear not knowing if he was all right or not. She stepped out of bed, pulled on a cloak over her pyjamas and stepped into a pair of loafers. It was well past midnight when she left her room and so the corridors were empty. Five minutes later she was outside his office, wondering if coming down here had really been such a good idea after all. She reconsidered her plan for a moment, before she came to the conclusion that she might as well relieve her worried mind now that she had walked all the way down here in the middle of the night. Two whispered passwords later she had entered Snape's sitting room through his office. What she then saw came as a shock. Snape was sitting on the floor, leaning against the sofa, crying. He was so caught up in himself he didn't notice her before she had crossed the room. When he finally sensed her presence, he put a hand over his face and began to stand up.

"No," she whispered, gently putting a hand on his shoulder and pushing him back down to the floor. She sat down next to him, so that their sides touched, and leaned her back against the sofa. For a moment she was lost as to what she should do as he just looked at her strangely. She took his left hand in a smooth grip and ran her thumb over it. He tensed immediately at the contact and she decided to look at the floor, trying to give him the space of not being watched. After a minute or so, she felt his hand relax in her grip and she kept up her soothing movements. As the time passed, his crying became quieter and quieter until it was nothing but small, silent sobs. He had pulled up his legs and his head had sunk down on his knees, his right hand covering his face. His left hand did, however, remain in Hermione's.

The Gryffindor was at a loss as to what she should do. Her heart ached at seeing this proud, private man break down so openly in front of her and she could only imagine what was going through his mind. She had no idea what it was that he had done nineteen years ago, but she realised it must be something so terrible that he loathed himself for doing it. It was probably something he had done on behalf of Voldemort, but Snape no doubt put all the blame on himself. She wanted to ask him what it was so that she could comfort him, but she knew that he would have to tell her on his own terms, there was no point in pushing him. Her train of thoughts was interrupted when she noticed that he had raised his head from his knees and was looking at her with a strange look in his eyes. Whilst he did not look completely guarded the way he usually did, his guard was not let down as much as it had been when she had first entered.

"You are still wearing your glamour," he said in a raspy voice.

_Of course, trust him to notice that, _she thought dryly_._ Her mind must have been too focused on Snape when she had walked through his office, as that was when she usually removed it. She sighed and removed her glamour wordlessly.

"Trust you to notice that," she said with a bitter smile. To her surprise she felt him squeeze her hand gently, as if to reassure her that showing her scars was all right.

"Someone has to. They really don't look as bad as you think," he said seriously and looked into her eyes, trying to get his message through.

Hermione was quiet for a few moments as she tried to take in what he had said. She wondered if she should tell him the whole story, but felt scared of how he would react upon hearing her other problem. Then again, he had obviously come to terms with dropping his guard in front of her, so she figured she might as well do the same.

Snape let go of her hand but made no attempt to move away from her, their sides were still touching. He ran his hands through his hair and relaxed his legs so that they were stretched out on the floor.

* * *

><p><strong>Snape's POV<strong>

It had been a long time since he had felt this confused. The last time he had displayed his feelings this openly for another human being was too long ago to remember. He felt embarrassed and shameful at the same time as he felt a certain amount of warmth at not being alone. A large part of his feelings consisted of contempt for himself. He really did not deserve to be comforted by her or by anyone for that matter. What he had done had been unforgivable; hence he was not to be forgiven. He had come to terms with that many years ago, but the event still hurt, as though it had just happened, every year. He looked at the young witch next to him and wondered what was going through her mind. It disturbed him that he didn't know what else was troubling her.

"I'm sure you remember, the reason I can't stand seeing the scars is because then I think about the other curse and I've yet to come to terms with the consequences," she said softly and looked at the floor.

Snape was quiet, waiting for her to continue. He gave a simple nod, showing her that he had acknowledged what she had said.

"The other curse rendered me infertile," she continued with pain in her voice, which had turned into nothing more than a faint whisper. Had Snape not been sitting right next to her, he would not have been able to hear what she said.

_So that's why_, he mused. Her actions made sense to him in some ways and in others not. Children were very important in the wizarding world and wizards and witches were almost expected to produce at least one child in their lifetime, thus ensuring that their kind did not die out. For a witch not to be able to conceive was considered a great sorrow. Then again, he was a strong believer that not everyone was meant for parenthood and that one could have a complete life without children. The Gryffindor, whilst not a conventional beauty, was an attractive and highly intelligent witch and was sure to find someone who wouldn't care that she could not conceive. _And if she really wants children, there is always adoption. _He wanted to do something aboutthe pain he had heard in her voice but was unsure of what to say. Comforting was not his strong suit.

"It's not that bad," he settled on saying, regretting the words the moment they left his mouth.

Hermione looked up at him with an incredulous look in her eyes, almost as if she was angry.

"Not that bad?" She repeated, her voice sharp as a dagger.

"Forgive me," he cut in quickly, wanting to explain his words before she went off on a rant. "I did not mean it like that," he continued slowly. "I simply meant to say that you could still have a complete and happy life even if you never have children. And there is always adoption," he said, deciding that this conversation was quickly getting out of his hands. He had no idea if children were important to the young woman sitting next to him and so he felt like he was on thin ice.

"That's not the problem," she said softly, still staring at the floor. "Look, I shouldn't have told you, it's not your burden to bear, I'm sorry for dragging you into this in the first place," she apologized.

"Nonsense," he silenced her. _Next thing she'll apologize for being hit by the curses_, he thought dryly. He was aware that this was a very sensitive subject to her and wanted to somehow reassure her that everything was and would be all right. "Hermione," he began and she looked up from the floor, "what is the problem?"

"You'll think I'm pathetic," she began and was quiet for a few moments. "I'm not sure I want children, but I do want someone to share my life with, and what wizard is going to want to be with a witch who can't conceive?"

Snape felt a strange sensation inside him, almost like an ache. _She should not have to feel like this._ He made a silent vow that he would do what it took to make her feel better. She deserved a normal life with a handsome, clever and decent man and he would do everything in his power to make sure she believed she had that right. He was surprised at the strong emotions he felt, usually he did not care much about others' misfortune, especially not if they were students of his, but there was something about this woman that made him want to act as her protector.

"There are plenty of men out there who should want to be with you, regardless of the fact that you are unable to bear them children. And if they don't, they don't deserve you," he said and realised, appalled, that his voice sounded almost paternal.

Snape was surprised when she looked at him with a small smile on her face.

"Thank you," she replied gently. "You are a good friend, you know."

_Friends? Is that what she thinks we are? Strange._ Though it would explain his protective feelings towards her – he had always been very protective of his friends, probably because he had only had a few in his life. Yes, that made sense. They had entered a partnership as student and professor and now they had become friends.

"Is that why you came back down here? Because you see me as a friend?" he asked, though he already knew the answer.

"Yes. The look in your eyes when I left worried me, and I do consider you to be a friend. When I worry about my friends, I try to help them," she replied with a small smile.

"I see." It felt odd to have someone worry about him, the only one who had done so in the last twenty years was Albus and he had been dead for a year and a half now. "My back is starting to hurt, how about we move to the sofas?" He suggested and stood up. As he walked over to one of the sofas he realised that he might as well let his guard down completely, since that was what she had just done. It seemed unlikely that she would tell anyone about it. He stretched out on the sofa in a lying position and watched her do the same on the other sofa. Whilst he realised it was not appropriate for a student to sleep in a professor's sitting room, he didn't want to ask her to leave. Her presence was soothing in some strange way. And if Minerva found out, he would just show her the memory, a bit edited of course; it was not like they were having an inappropriate relationship after all. And so he conjured to blankets, sent one levitating her in her direction and put out all the lights in the room.

"Good night," she whispered softly and yawned.

"Good night," Snape replied and for the first time since 1978, he fell asleep before dawn on the morning of 11 December.


	10. Chapter 9

**Hello and Happy New Year!**

**Sorry for the lack of updates, I'm currently in Austria, skiing, and the hotel where I'm staying has no Wi-Fi. I will be back home on Thursday so will put up the next chapter then, it's almost ready. I will reply to your reviews then. **

**I realised that the date 5 December didn't really fit in the time line of my story, so I've changed it to 11 December, hope you understand. Also, I wanted to let you know that I haven't forgotten about Hermione having to take the elixir once a week, I just figured that it wasn't necessary to write about her taking it every time, hence it's left out. Rest assured that Snape keeps supplying it to her. **

**Hope you're well. **

**Andrea xxx**

**Snape's POV**

Snape was the first of the two of them to wake up on the morning of 11 December. He awoke, feeling a soar ache in his back. It took him a moment to understand why; it was not often that he slept in one of his sofas. Come to think of it, this was the first time ever. He sat up slowly, thinking it would somehow relieve the pain in his back, and the memories of last night returned to him. _I had a student sleep in my quarters, for the love of Merlin, what is wrong with me? _He scolded himself mentally for letting a student see him at his worst. She had seen him cry and it was enough to make him feel more than a little embarrassed. _Then again, she's not just any student, _a voice in his head said.

He looked at Hermione's sleeping form; spread out in the sofa opposite to the one he was seated in. She was lying on her left side, her head on a pillow and her face turned towards him. One of her many curls had escaped the ponytail the rest of her hair was gathered in and hung limply across her face. Snape pulled out his pocked watch and looked at it, it was almost half past six. _Why do I always have to wake up at this ungodly hour,_ he moaned inwardly. He straightened his robes with a quick spell and ran his hands through his hair, trying to smoothen it. Once more, he looked at the sleeping witch. The blanket covered her body up to her shoulders. She looked very relaxed. In fact, he didn't think he had ever seen her this relaxed. Then again, that was because she was always quite bothered by her scars when she was awake.

He realised that it would not do for her to be seen leaving his quarters in the morning and so decided to wake her up. His first thought was to wake her up with a spell and scream at her to get the hell out of his quarters. Then he thought of what they had discussed the night before and realised that she didn't deserve that kind of awakening. But it was not as if he could go up to her and touch her, could he? He decided to order some coffee, as it would give him time to plan his next move. Not because he knew she liked coffee in the morning. Then again, so did he. Yes, that was it; he ordered coffee because he himself wanted it.

When a house elf appeared with the coffee five minutes later, Snape had still not figured out how to wake the Gryffindor. He decided he would try with his voice first and hopefully that would work.

"Hermione," he said in his usual quiet voice. When she didn't show any sign of awaking, he figured he had to be louder. "Hermione," he tried again, to no avail. To wake her up, he decided to fire a quick noise hex, right next to her. He did so, wandlessly and wordlessly. The result was not what he had desired.

Snape watched in astonishment how Hermione went from lying down to standing up, with her wand held high, in less than a moment. When she saw him, she lowered her wand, exhaled and sunk down on the sofa.

"You scared me," she muttered and pulled the blanket over her legs.

"My apologies, I called your name numerous times but you would not wake," he explained, feeling slightly guilty at having scared her from her sleep.

"It's not your fault, it's just a habit," she mumbled, looking slightly embarrassed. She took in her surroundings and looked around with a sheepish look on her face. "I'm sorry I spent the night here, you should just have sent me away," she apologised.

He was quiet for a few moments, contemplating his answer. There was no way he could tell her that he had found her presence soothing and that this was the best he had slept on this particular date in the last twenty years. However, he also found that he didn't want to make her any more uncomfortable than she already looked.

"I gave you the blanket, did I not?" he replied curtly.

Hermione gave him a small knowing smile. Not knowing how to respond, he simply passed her a cup of coffee as well as some milk**,** knowing that was how she liked to take her coffee.

"Thanks."

"You should get out of here before the other students awake but you look as though you could use a strengthening cup before."

"I do," she replied with a smile. "About last night, I hope…" she said but was interrupted.

"There is no need to discuss it further," he said curtly, feeling slightly awkward.

"I just wanted to say that I hope I didn't make you feel uncomfortable and that I appreciate what you said," she continued in spite of his interruption.

Once again, her words made him uncomfortable and once again he was unsure as to how to respond or react to them. He gave her a quick nod and looked down at his coffee. As the topic of their conversation was slightly awkward, at least in his opinion, he decided to move onto safer ground.

"How far have you got with the reading list?"

"I've finished all but one book."

Whilst he knew that she was a fast reader, he hadn't expected her to finish all the books, most of which contained more than 400 pages, in two weeks. Especially not since she had her regular lessons as well as her assistant position to focus on. She really was a devoted reader. Obviously he did not want her to know what he thought so he said something completely different.

"You better finish the last one soon, we should start working in the laboratory as soon as possible," he said in a curt voice.

"Yes, of course, I'll finish it before Sunday night," she said hurriedly, obviously deducing that he thought that she hadn't been reading fast enough.

"How about you take the day off today and instead finish the book before Wednesday night? Then we can spend Wednesday night planning our research and hopefully start on some tests next Friday," he suggested. He wasn't sure why he had offered her the day off; after all, he never gave himself a day off. Ever. But somehow, it just didn't feel right to watch her leave his rooms now, only to have her return in two hours to start working again, especially seeing as she hadn't got a lot of sleep because of him.

"Are you sure that won't slow us down?" she asked, sounding surprised.

"We will manage."

"Then yes, thank you. I have some Christmas shopping I've been meaning to get done."

Snape gave her a small nod. To say that her next words surprised him was an understatement.

"Will you take the day off as well?" she asked curiously, looking at him with that look in her eyes that he had come to recognise as concern.

"No. I will be in my laboratory brewing pepper-up potions for the infirmary."

"Why don't you take the day of as well? You look like you could use one. I'm sure the hospital wing can manage," she said softly.

"Poppy wants the potions by tomorrow," he said in a bored voice, even though he was anything but bored. If anything, he was disturbed by her unhealthy concern for him. It was none of her business whether he took the day off or not. If this was the reaction he was going to get every time he offered her some slack, he would cease doing it, he decided.

"Frankly speaking, it is none of your business, Hermione," he added stiffly.

He noticed a look of hurt on her features for just a moment before her face turned blank, void of any emotion. Perhaps his words had been unnecessarily rough, he thought, but then again, it was who he was.

"I don't feel comfortable taking a day off when I know that you will be in here working," she said quickly, her face void of any emotion.

"Then you better get over it, like I said, Poppy needs the potions by tomorrow."

"I will be back at five o'clock, Severus, and if you have so much as started preparing the ingredients by then, well, let's just say that you will regret it," she said with a dark smile on her face.

_Does she mean what I think she means? She'll help me? Why would she do that?_ He frowned in confusion.

"I am unsure whether I interpreted that correctly, did you just say that you will come down here on a Saturday night, voluntarily, to help me brew pepper-up potions for the infirmary?" he asked suspiciously.

"It's not as bad as it sounds, I like brewing and I don't have any plans tonight. "Will you accept my help?" she asked, sounding shy all of a sudden.

"I promise not to enter my laboratory before you return," he replied, unsure why he had just agreed to take a day off.

"I'm glad," she said and placed her empty coffee cup on the table in front of her.

"You are one strange student," he said with an odd look on his face, but his voice held no menace.

"So I've been told." She smiled and stood up, slipping her feet into her loafers that lay discarded on the floor. "Enjoy your day off, you deserve it," she said and left his sitting room before he had the chance to reply.

Snape sat still in his sofa for the next hour, contemplating what she'd said. No one had ever cared that he over-worked himself, no one. Instead, they had all gladly given him more work to do, knowing that he would do everything in his power to get it done on time. Even if it meant that he only slept a few hours each night. And now this girl, student, witch or woman, he was unsure what he should call her and so settled on Hermione, had made him take a day off. Fair enough, she had almost forced him to but he hadn't put up much of a fight. That in itself, was very, very odd.

**Hermione's POV**

The following Wednesday evening found Snape and Hermione sitting on chairs next to a worktable in Snape's personal laboratory. The room was large, almost twice the size of the Potions classroom. Hermione wasn't quite sure of how the big room fit into the dungeons, but she figured there was a great deal of magic involved. There were two long worktables in the room, each of which had six different workstations set up. Along the walls were bookcases and cupboards, containing tools and ingredients.

Snape was currently talking Hermione through his previous research on the subject and she was scribbling furiously in a notebook. At first, Snape had tried to find or create a spell that revealed the magical pattern and when that failed, he had tried to create a potion with the same purpose. When that had turned out unsuccessfully, he had tried to see if the magical signature witches and wizards left behind in wards they created and patronuses the conjured could somehow be altered into showing the magical pattern. As that had proven impossible he decided he had to think in different terms. His next idea had been using legilimency.

"So by entering someone's mind with permission you believe there is a chance that you could see the magical pattern of the person in question?" Hermione asked without looking up from her parchment.

"Exactly. When I first got the idea, I tried it out on two death eaters but as they were averse to my intrusion, their minds made my searching very difficult, hence it didn't work. There is no guarantee that it will work if the intrusion is permitted but it is worth a try," he said and watched her with amusement, at seeing her write so quickly, in his eyes.

"Yes, but that is assuming that the magical pattern is in the mind and not the body, physically. However, I haven't got a clue of how to find the pattern in the skin so I believe legilimency is as good a way as any to start," she commented. "Do you have a pensieve?"

"Yes."

"Good. I presume you'll be invading my mind and there are certain things I don't want anyone to see. Should we start tonight?" she asked enthusiastically.

"It is very uncomfortable and tiring to have someone dig around in your mind, Hermione. It's already past eleven, I suggest we start on Friday."

"Oh, of course," she replied, sounding a little disappointed. "Oh and I've been meaning to ask you, should we work over the holidays?"

"I will be here over the holidays, but I won't make you work if you don't want to," he muttered, sounding slightly annoyed that she didn't want to work over the holidays.

"I didn't ask because I don't want to work, Severus. We break up on Friday afternoon and then there are four weeks of holidays. Before we started on this project, my plans were to stay here for the holidays, excluding a couple of days over Christmas. If you would rather I stay over Christmas so we can work, I will."

"Going to the Weasleys', I presume?" he said with a sneer.

"No," she replied, feeling slightly annoyed that he still sneered or looked as if he had just swallowed something disgusting whenever he mentioned the Weasleys or Harry. "I am going to Berlin by myself," she said, looking him straight in the eyes, daring him to question her.

"I see," he said, sounding almost curious. "When will you be gone?"

"I had planned on going on the 22nd and returning on the 27th. Before and after that, I can work every day of the holidays."

"That sounds acceptable."

"Oh, and I've told everyone else that I'm celebrating Christmas with a distant relative so I would appreciate if you would keep the Berlin part to yourself," she said seriously.

Snape's face turned into a thoughtful expression. He was no doubt wondering why she would go on a trip alone over Christmas. After a moment or two, he gave her a small nod in acknowledgement of what she had said.

"Thank you. I am going to bed now, I'll see you on Friday after supper," she said with a smile and gathered her notes.

"You can leave those here if you want," he offered.

Hermione gave him a big smile and left the room.

Breakfast on Friday morning was far from a quiet affair. All the students were chatting about what they were going to do for Christmas, what presents they had wished for, who they were going to see, where they were going and so on. Now that Voldemort was gone, parents no longer felt that their children had to stay at Hogwarts over the holidays because of safety reasons; hence most of them were going home. As far as Hermione knew, only she, three Ravenclaws and two Slytherins would be staying for Christmas. She couldn't wait until everyone had left, she longed for the castle to be quiet.

"Are you sure you won't be lonely?" Ginny asked for the third time. "You really should come with me to the Burrow, we could have so much fun! And Ron and Harry will be there of course."

"Like I've said before, I've got some research to do, and Snape and I will continue working on our new version of the Wolfsbane. All the extra time will be great," Hermione replied and took a bite of her toast.

"Seriously Hermione, are you really going to spend Christmas in the dungeons with Snape?"

"Ginny, how many times do I have to say this, I'm not coming to the Burrow," Hermione said in a tired voice. She heard the owls enter the hall and looked up. To her surprise she saw Hedwig approach her and sit down on the table in front of her. She untied the letter the owl carried, tied around her leg, and gave her a piece of her toast. Hedwig chirped happily and left. She opened the letter and read it.

_Dear Hermione, _

_I can't believe you're not coming to the Burrow for Christmas! I just heard that you weren't coming, otherwise I wouldn't have written to you sooner. Mrs Weasley said it's because you are working on the Wolfsbane with Snape, but seriously Hermione, the entire holiday? I was really looking forward to seeing you. Well, I hope that you have a nice Christmas with, who was it, your aunt's cousin? Perhaps we could meet up for a drink in Hogsmeade sometime over the holidays? Just let me know when you're free, we've got three weeks off school. I hope you're well and that Snape's not too awful to you._

_Love,_

_Harry_

_Dear 'Mione,_

_Well, I just read what Harry wrote and I was going to write pretty much the same, but seriously, why are you staying at Hogwarts with Snape? You'll be bored to death. Though you've got the library so I suppose you'll survive, but still. Anyway, hope all is well at Hogwarts and that Snape isn't boring you to death. Let's meet up for a drink in Hogsmeade soon!_

_Love, _

_Ron_

"What did Harry say?" Ginny asked, having recognised Hedwig.

"He and Ron wrote to say the same as you really, trying to persuade me to come to the Burrow for Christmas, here you can read if you want," she offered and handed the letters to the redhead.

Ginny read both letters and turned to Hermione.

"They're right, you know. I don't see why you should spend the holidays here. They haven't seen you in ages and I have hardly seen you since you began working with Snape, I was really looking forward to spending some time with you over the holidays," Ginny said.

"I'm sorry, it's just that it takes up so much time. I'll try to be a better friend next term," Hermione replied non-committedly.

If she was going to be honest with herself, she was more than a little annoyed at the three Gryffindors who were supposed to be her best friends. Harry and Ron had barely kept in touch with her at all in the last couple of months and Ginny, whilst she was sweet, always asked the wrong questions. All in all, none of them had any idea what was going on in her life. _And who's fault is that_, a voice in her head asked. Yes, she had gotten increasingly private since the end of the war, but none of them had even tried to see through the walls she had built around her. It annoyed her that all of them thought so little of Snape. Fair enough, they hadn't seen as much of him as she had, but there was no need for them to talk about him as if he was the devil. They were still as childish as they always had been, she thought with a sigh.

**Rest assured that it will be explained later on why Hermione doesn't want to celebrate Christmas. **


	11. Chapter 10

**Thank you for your reviews! They make me very happy. Hope you enjoy this part. I've got two exams and a presentation in the next eight days so will be quite busy studying so not sure when I will have time to write the next chapter. As always, I enjoy hearing your thoughts/comments/criticism etc. **

**White demoness: **You are right about the other scars, of course. However, I forgot about those when I began the story and I can't be bothered to write them into the story, as I don't think they would change the story all that much. I apologise for this; however, the story is already quite far away from the books in various aspects, so I figure it probably won't matter very much. But thank you for pointing it out!

**Andrea xx**

* * *

><p><strong>Snape's POV<strong>

"How stupid can a third year be?" Hermione exclaimed as she entered Snape's sitting room on Friday after supper.

Snape was sitting on a chair, reading. As he noticed her enter, he placed his book on the table and focused all his attention on her.

The different ways in which Hermione entered his sitting room had quickly turned into one of the best parts of the day. Whilst Hermione did not display her feelings very openly in public, or to her friends for that matter, as Snape had gathered from the way she spoke of her friends, she almost always displayed a reaction of some kind when she entered his quarters. Sometimes she was mad at someone for saying something hurtful to her, or to someone else, and would go off on a rant about how mean children could be to one another. Other times, she was happy and energetic because of the way a Transfigurations lesson had gone or because she had read something interesting. When _The Daily Prophet_ published an article about her, which it did fairly often seeing as she was what they liked to call a "war hero", she usually stormed into his rooms, furiously muttering how big of an idiot that and that reporter was. Sometimes, like today, she was annoyed at a student and complained about how dumb some of them were. Once in a while, she would enter his rooms quietly with a sad look in her eyes. Snape hated those days as he loathed being unable to help her, which he obviously was as he couldn't just ask her what was wrong. No, the days when she entered his rooms exclaiming something, regardless of what it was, were definitely preferable.

For some unknown reason, knowing that she found his rooms safe enough to let her guard down in felt good, very good indeed. Whilst her stories amused him, it was not the stories he enjoyed the most, it was the fact that she dared to be at least a resemblance of herself in his presence. Since he had got to know her better, it had become blatantly obvious to him how much of her personality in public was really an act. In public, she was the perfect goody-two-shoes girl and student, always nice to everyone, friends with most of the teachers, always smiling and always doing what people expected her to do. In private, or at least, in his private rooms, she was quite different to the student he saw during meals and in lessons. Instead, she was fairly quiet, very efficient (she wasted no time on small talk, something he was very grateful for) and often very sarcastic. Like him, she was a private person and she did not tell him anything about herself unless he asked specifically, which he almost never did. He had recently discovered that she drank a lot of coffee, usually about four or five cups a day, and that she liked white wine a lot. Finding out that she didn't really care about obtaining certain results, but simply enjoyed learning in itself, had surprised him. He had reached the conclusion that stressing over exams was something she did because it gave her an excuse to spend time alone.

"Very stupid," he said with a small smirk and watched her kick off her shoes and hang her cloak on the sofa, before she sank down on it. How she could be this comfortable around him was beyond his understanding.

"Trevor Collins was about to transfigure a chair into a table, but instead, he pointed his wand at his friend sitting in a chair behind the one he was aiming at, and so Sophie Shepherd ended up with her arms and legs in the shape of table legs. It took me and Professor McGonagall almost half an hour to figure out how to get her back to normal as it isn't a spell meant for use on humans in the first place." Hermione sighed loudly and played with a lock of her hair.

"Imagine the look on Minerva's face if Miss Shepherd had been turned into an actual table," Snape said as his eyes shone with amusement.

"You're awful, you know," Hermione berated him but burst out laughing. "To be honest, her face was quite aghast already" she continued with an evil grin on her face. "You know what the hardest part was? I couldn't laugh. And honestly, a third-year with table-legs as limbs is a very amusing sight."

"I bet," he said and his smirk deepened.

They were quiet for a few minutes, both enjoying the silence they did not get to experience during the day when they were around other students.

"Should I get ready to remove my memories?" Hermione broke the silence and sat up with her back straight.

"Yes. You should think of one memory at a time and then I will extract it from your mind. However, the pensieve is in my study." He stood up and beckoned for her to follow.

They walked through one of the three doors Hermione had yet to enter and ended up in an office. There was a large table, with enough room for six people at least, which was covered with parchments and quills of all kinds. Bookcases and a few built-in cupboards covered the walls. Snape pulled out a chair and gestured for her to sit down. He walked over to one of the cupboards and levitated the pensieve from the cupboard to the table.

"How many memories do you want me to remove?"

"Four."

"Let me know when you have the first one on the front of your mind."

Hermione closed her eyes and was quiet for a few moments before she let him know that she was ready.

Snape put the tip of his wand to her temple and a thought incantation later, there was a silvery piece hanging on the end of his wand. He placed it in the pensieve and looked at her sitting there, quietly, with her eyes closed. They repeated the process another three times.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, knowing that the first time one's memories were extracted could be difficult.

"A bit strange, but fine. Let me know what I should do when you enter my mind."

"The first time someone evades your mind is very trying, so I will start by just entering your mind and then pulling out after a moment. It would help if you could try to think of as little as possible but it is not a requirement."  
>"I'll do my best. We should have eye contact, right?"<p>

"Yes. Take a moment to clear your mind and let me know when you are ready."

A minute or so later Hermione whispered a short "ready" and Snape cast the spell. He felt himself being sucked into her mind and was surprised to find that the experience was not unpleasant at all. In fact, it was quite pleasant, almost like an embrace. Whilst he had had permission when he entered the minds of others before, he had never entered the mind of someone who practically invited him in, as that was how it felt like. There were a variety of images floating around near the surface tempting him but he resisted the urge to poke around and left her mind, hoping that it hadn't been too uncomfortable for her. Her reaction was not what he had expected.

"Wow, Harry said that legilimency was horrible, I was really bracing myself for something awful, but that was incredible," she said in awe.

"I have to admit that I am equally surprised," he said and was quiet for a moment. "I suppose it could have something to do with the fact that you not only permit my entering your mind, but almost seem to welcome it, subconsciously, probably because you know that it is part of finding a solution for your scars."

Hermione nodded absentmindedly and Snape could tell that she was thinking hard.

"Have you ever entered the mind of a friend or someone who trusts you before?" she asked quietly and met his dark eyes.

"I suppose the closest person I've used legilimency on is Albus, but we were never friends. I cared for him and I believe he held some affection for me but we never talked the way friends do," he replied in an equally quiet voice and it was obvious to both of them that he had left out the words "the way you and I do".

"Were you suspicious when he entered your mind?"

"Always," he replied quickly.

"That's the difference. I trust you implicitly, Severus. I was not the least suspicious or scared that you were going to abuse the trust I gave you when I let you enter my mind," she said slowly and looked into his eyes.

_She trusts me? Implicitly? What is wrong with her?_

"I want to try something," she said. "I want you to enter my mind and try to look at any memory. I want to see if you can feel my reaction."

"Very well," Snape replied, not quite sure in which direction she was heading.

"I'm ready," she said clearly and looked straight into his eyes.

Snape entered her mind once more and was again surprised at how comfortable and smooth it felt. Hemoved towards one of the memories that was closest to him and tried to watch it. Whilst there was no force that was really stopping him from watching the memory, he sensed a strong reluctance from her and the thought of crossing it and watching the memory against her will made him feel sick. He pulled out of her mind.

It took him a moment to collect himself. He had never experienced anything like it. How could he not have read about this? Surely other people out there must have experienced the same thing. Then again, there were not many books on legilimency and not many accomplished legilimenses out there anymore. Plus, no one learned legilimency because they wanted to enter the minds of their friends. Legilimency was an art mainly practiced by people who wanted to enter the minds of their enemies or the people they were suspicious of. Hence it was quite likely that not many people had used it on someone they trusted, which would explain why he hadn't read anything about it in any of his books.

"See? I think trust makes all the difference," Hermione interrupted his train of thought. "How did it feel for you?"

"I would have been able to look at the memory had I really tried to, but somehow your reluctance made it clear to me that I shouldn't. In fact, I almost felt sick at the thought of watching the memory against your will. The feeling of sickness disappeared the moment I stopped trying," he said slowly, choosing his words carefully.

"I thought so. I tried to mentally let you know that I didn't want you to see it and then I felt you leave my mind."

"Are you too tired or should we try once more? I would like to have a look through your mind to see how it is built and organised," he asked.

"I'm all right. Of course, especially since you'll be searching it endlessly later on," Hermione replied with a strange smile.

"At your signal."

"I'm ready," she answered a few moments later.

When he delved into her mind for the third time, it felt strangely familiar, almost as if he was coming home. _Strange_, _but not unpleasant_, he mused. For the first time, he had a proper look around her mind. Unsurprisingly, there were an endless number of pools of memories, feelings and thoughts floating around. Whilst there was no order, per se, they were organised into groups. He approached a random group and noticed that it contained memories connected to her childhood. He saw a quick image of what he presumed was a younger Hermione and her parents on a playground. The next group he looked at was a lot bigger and after a closer look, he saw that it was memories connected to Hogwarts. He saw images of Potter and Weasley float by. As soon as he started to see parts of an actual memory, he pulled back. They had not discussed which memories he was allowed to look at and which he wasn't, and he didn't want to take any chances. In general, he could tell that her mind was unusually detailed for someone as young as her, but he was not that surprised, considering that she was a highly intelligent young witch. He decided that he had been in her mind long enough and pulled out, making an effort to do so as slowly as possible, to make sure that he didn't startle her.

Hermione was sitting quite limply in her chair, obviously quite tired.

"Are you all right?" he asked, wondering if he had been in her mind for too long.

"Yes, yes. I just need something to drink, could we maybe move into the other room?" she asked, her voice slightly shaky.

"Of course," he replied and moved towards the door.

Hermione stood up too quickly and swayed slightly. Snape caught her arm quickly and steadied her.

"I'm okay, just a bit dizzy," she said in a weak voice.

Snape put one arm on her shoulder and kept the other one on her arm and led her through the door into his sitting room. They walked over to the sofa where she usually sat and he kept his hand on her shoulder until she had sat down completely.

"It is nothing to worry about, it will pass," he said quietly and ordered some light food and drinks for the two of them.

A house elf arrived with the food a couple of minutes later and by then most of the colour had returned to Hermione's face. He poured her a cup of coffee as well as a glass of water and placed the glasses on the table in front of her. The house elf had also, knowingly, brought a bar of chocolate and he placed it next to her coffee. They sat in silence for a while, sipping their drinks and she ate some chocolate.

"I feel a lot better now," Hermione said as she poured herself her second cup of coffee. "Well, this will make our research a lot easier, won't it?"

"Yes," he agreed. "However, we should still take it slowly, it will take you some time to get used to it and we don't want to put additional stress on your mind," he said seriously.

Hermione nodded her acceptance. She opened her mouth as if she was going to say something and closed it after a second, obviously reconsidering what she was going to say. A couple of minutes later she spoke up.

"Having you in my mind felt soothing," she said clearly. "And very intimate."

"I _was_ in your mind, Hermione," Snape replied in respect to her last words and tilted his head to one side. "I am aware that this is a very strange situation for you to be in, I am your teacher after all," he continued and his eyes looked sad for a second before he masked his emotions. He was well aware of the fact that their relationship was far from the normal one between a teacher and a student. However, he had cleared their project with Minerva before they began, telling her that they were altering the Wolfsbane, and she had given her approval. By now, he was also conscious of the fact that he knew a lot more about Hermione than most other people did, especially in comparison to the other teachers. He wondered if she felt uncomfortable about that. Then again, she knew more about him than most people. It dawned on him that that should make him uncomfortable but for some reason it didn't. He realised that he had developed a certain trust for her. In fact, he was not at all scared that she was going to tell anyone that she had seen him cry. He cringed at the memory and Hermione thankfully interrupted his train of thoughts.

"I'm okay with that," Hermione replied kindly. "You're only going to be my teacher for one final term anyway," she stated.

"Yes," he agreed and was silent for a couple of moments. "I hope you know that I won't divulge anything of what I might see, when I am in your mind, to anyone."

"I'm not worried about that, I trust you. And you've proved that already, you've known some of my secrets for weeks now." she trailed off, looking pensive for a moment. "I just wanted to say that even if we never manage to create the potion, I am very grateful that I got to experience legilimency in this form, it felt amazing," she continued quietly.

"Well, you're in luck because I will be doing it repeatedly over the next couple of days or weeks, until you get sick and tired of it," Snape replied dryly, his voice laced with amusement.

Hermione just rolled her eyes at him and took another sip of her coffee.

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><p><strong>If you have any thoughts on the legilimency part I'd be glad to hear them, I was slightly unsure of how to write that part. Whilst it was always described as quite uncomfortable when Snape invaded Harry's mind in the books, it didn't make sense to me when it was between two people who trusted each other. And I figured that it must feel strangely intimate, someone is in the other person's mind, after all. <strong>


	12. Chapter 11

**Thank you for your reviews and I'm glad that you liked the way I described the legilimency. Sorry it's taken me a while to post this, I've been really busy at uni. Unfortunately the next two weeks won't be easier but I'll try to update as soon as I can. Writing this chapter got me thinking about the pace of the story (a.k.a. their relationship), is it moving too quickly or perhaps too slowly? Would appreciate your thoughts on this. In the meantime, enjoy!**

**Andrea xxx**

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><p>Breakfast on the first day of the Christmas holidays was the opposite of a normal breakfast at Hogwarts. Instead of being filled with students chatting away, the Great Hall was almost completely quiet. As all but six students had gone home for Christmas and as a consequence one table, placed in the middle of the Great Hall, had replaced the usual five tables. It made the big room look rather empty but Hermione found that she liked the silence. She also noticed that despite the emptiness, there was no echo and she figured that the Headmistress had probably charmed the room.<p>

It was barely seven o'clock in the morning when Hermione entered the Great Hall and the only people who were there were the Headmistress, Snape and Professor Flitwick. The Headmistress and Flitwick were sitting next to each other with Snape on the other side of the table, opposite to the Charms professor. The two former were engaged in conversation whilst Snape just stared at his coffee. Hermione sat down on the chair next to Snape.

"Good morning, dear," the Headmistress greeted her and Flitwick echoed it, replacing the 'dear' with 'Miss Granger'.

Hermione responded to their greetings and turned to Snape.

"Good morning, Professor Snape," she said with emphasis on his title and name. The corners of her lips twitched upwards slightly. She helped herself to a cup of coffee, a piece of toast and some scrambled eggs.

Snape tore his eyes away from his coffee and looked at her with an annoyed expression on his face. Hermione found that she always felt quite strange when he treated her this way, which he had to do when they weren't alone, as she had quickly gotten used to the way she was treated when they were alone. _Funny how just a few weeks could change your opinion of someone completely_, she thought.

"Good morning to you, Miss Granger," he replied sarcastically but his eyes shone with amusement as he emphasised her title and name the same way she had done.

"Severus, I do hope you haven't made Miss Granger get up this early on the first day of the holidays to work on the Wolfsbane potion?" the Headmistress queried and gave Snape a stern glance.

"No, no, I woke up by myself," Hermione objected before Snape had a chance to respond. "Though, since we are both up, I think we might as well get to work after breakfast, what do you think, Professor?" she continued and turned to the man next to her.

"If you insist, Miss Granger," he said sternly but it was obvious to both of them that he was just teasing her.

"I do, Professor. I don't want to waste a single minute of all the extra time we have to spend on the potion," Hermione said in a deadpan voice.

"Why, Severus, it seems as though you have found someone even more devoted to research than yourself," Flitwick chirped and turned back to the Headmistress, resuming their previous discussion.

"You certainly are a most devoted student," Snape said ironically, in a quiet tone, as he inclined his head towards her slightly.

"Oh, you have no idea, Sir," Hermione replied, a small smile playing on her lips.

They finished their breakfast in silence and Snape turned to her once more before he stood up.

"Come down in half an hour," he said and searched her eyes for approval and when he found it, he left the hall after nodding towards the Headmistress and Flitwick.

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><p>When Hermione entered Snape's sitting room almost exactly half an hour after breakfast, he was sitting in his usual chair. To her surprise, he was wearing nothing but a white regular shirt and a pair of black slacks, instead of his usual shirt, waistcoat, overcoat and cloak. The three latter lay discarded on the other sofa. She walked over to what she viewed as 'her' spot on one of the sofas and sat down.<p>

"So how do we do this?" she asked and removed her outer cloak, leaving her in a pair of black jeans and a navy blue jumper.

"Before I enter your mind again, I think we need to discuss which memories I am allowed to see and which I'm not. Ideally, I would be able to see all of them but I realise that there might be certain things that you don't want me to see, apart from the memories you put in the pensieve," he said.

Hermione was quiet for a few moments, contemplating what he had just said.

"It's not that I mind you seeing my memories, the ones that I don't want you to see are already in the pensieve, but I think I should explain a few things before you start rummaging through my mind again," she said with a small smile.

Snape was quiet and nodded at her to begin her explanation.

"Okay. There are some things I need to tell you concerning my family, that I've never really told anyone else. Well," she began, having trouble finding the right words. "Merlin, this is hard to say. Well, before you got to know me a couple of weeks ago, you must have thought I was just a know-it-all dying to be the best student in the class, right?" she asked him uncertainly.

"Yes."

"Ever since I was just a little girl, my parents had extremely high expectations for me. I had tutors coming to our house to tutor me three hours a day the year before I started school, only so my parents could ensure that I would get a scholarship to the best preparatory school in the area. My parents couldn't afford paying the school fees but were determined that I go there; hence I had to get a scholarship. I remember sitting at home with the tutors and when I looked out the window I would see other children playing on the street. I didn't understand why I wasn't allowed to be out there, playing with them. The tutoring in combination with my hard work made sure that I got the scholarship. When I finally started school, my parents were furious if I didn't get the highest grade possible. Not only did I have to be the best student in the class, but I also had to get the best possible grade. If I didn't, they would make damn sure that I knew that I wasn't good enough. And when I did get the best possible grade, they barely said 'well done'." As soon as she had started speaking, it seemed there was nothing she could do to stop it. She continued her story in a bitter voice. "I remember one time particularly well. I was nine years old and I had just come home from school. I was in a really good mood as my English teacher had just returned a small essay that we'd written on animals, I had chosen to write about horses. The teacher had pulled me aside and whispered to me that this was the best-written text she had ever seen produced by someone my age. I was so happy, thinking that finally my parents would be proud of me," she muttered dryly and looked down at the floor. Her legs had been pulled up under her knees on the sofa.

By this point, Snape had leaned forward in his chair and he was looking at the Gryffindor in front of him with a strange look in his eyes. To her relief he remained quiet and waited for her to continue her story.

"Well, surprise, surprise, they weren't," she almost spat out. "I had gotten 92% on the essay and I was by far the best one in the class, most students had received about 70 %, yet it still wasn't good enough. I can still remember what my mother said. 'Hermione, dear, you can't expect us to congratulate you on getting 92 % when we know that you didn't do your best. If you had, you would have received full marks'," Hermione said in a mocking tone. She dragged her eyes from the floor and looked into the eyes of the man in front of her. "I was so upset, I cried almost the whole night…" she trailed off. "To sum it up, my parents made sure that I never felt good enough."

"Is that the reason why you worked so hard when you came here?"

"Yes. My parents would demand to see my grades every summer. I was scared that if I didn't do well enough, they wouldn't let me return the next year," she replied quietly. "Anyway, the reason I told you this is because I'm fairly certain that I have an unnatural amount of memories of me alone in a room, crying. And as you will no doubt notice, very few of me playing or spending time with friends."

"I imagine your parents are the reason you were constantly seeking approval from adults and trying to find ways in which to prove yourself?"

"Yes. It was easy to get it from most teachers but not… all."

"Hermione, I always thought that you just wanted to show off. I had no idea that you wanted approval because you had never been given it," Snape said seriously and fixed her with his dark eyes. "Not that you need it, but you have always had my approval when it comes to your brewing skills. I just chose not to show it to you." He was quiet for a few moments. "I take it your family is the reason why you don't want to celebrate Christmas?"

Whilst his question did not come as a complete surprise, it was still unwelcome. However, she realised that she might as well tell him the truth; he was bound to find out anyway.

"Yes. Despite how my parents may have treated me, I loved them and they loved me. Christmas was the only time of the year that they didn't talk to me about school work and so it was a very special time to me, at least when I was a child. I haven't celebrated it with them in the last couple of years, but they're still what I think of when I think of Christmas. I can't imagine celebrating it, when I know that they can't. Going away just seems easier."

"Why Berlin?"

"It's one of my favourite cities and there is a large wizarding library that I figured might be good to have a look through for the potion," she replied with a small smile.

"I should have known, of course you would not go on a trip just for the pleasure of it," he said teasingly.

"Neither would you," she replied with a smirk on her face.

"No, I would not," he agreed after a moment of reflection.

They looked at each other in silence for a few minutes, none of the aware of how much time passed. Snape was the first to break the silence.

"I trust you know by now that the problem was not that you were not good enough but that your parents had ridiculous expectations?" Again, he fixed her with his intense stare.

"Yes," she replied quietly, feeling slightly touched at his concern.

"Good," he said curtly. "Anything else I should know about?"

"I don't think so."

"Then I suggest we get to work. This time I will try to be in your mind a bit longer, feel free to lie down if you want to," he offered.

Hermione did as he had suggested and placed herself on the sofa so that she was able to look into his eyes.

"I'm ready," she said and felt the now familiar feeling of him entering her mind.


	13. Chapter 12

**Thank you, thank you, thank you SO much for your reviews – I can't believe I've now got 100 reviews! Massive thanks to you all. **

**I'm glad that you all think it's moving at a good pace. As **_**Carondoiel**_** very kindly pointed out, I got Hermione's age a bit wrong. I think I had some sort of time turner-idea at the beginning of this story and I wanted to make her a couple of months older but instead I moved her birthday back to January (which doesn't make sense at all to me now) and so I've decided to ignore the time turner part (that's what JK did after all) and just change her birthday to her real one (it doesn't play a big part in my story anyway), you'll find that the chapter has been updated. **

**Peppermint. Rocks:** Yes, they do seem like good parents in the books. Though changing their parts in this way made sense in my story so that's why I did it, am glad you find it plausible.

**Loyd1989:** Yes, I'm like that too when I read, so don't blame you. Reading that you think this story is a must read made me so happy, so thanks!

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><p><strong>Hermione's POV<strong>

Hermione and Snape spent the following three days in Snape's quarters, with him in her mind most of the time. Whilst neither of them minded the legilimency, the lack of progress was frustrating for both of them. By Tuesday evening they were about to give up on the whole process.

"Look, it's not working, we're just going to have to try something else," Hermione protested when Snape had suggested they keep trying. She was exhausted after having him look through her mind for hours in the past couple of days. Whilst it was always rather pleasant when he was in her mind, it drained her and the fatigue always hit her like a bullet the moment he left her mind.

Snape looked at her with his brow furrowed for a moment and opened his mouth as if he was about to protest but then he closed it and nodded slightly.

"Let us call it a day. If we come up with another idea concerning legilimency, we will give it a try after Christmas," he said and sat down in his usual chair.

"Agreed," she replied and sat up from the lying position she had been in on the sofa. She contemplated her next words for a moment before she decided that she might as well say what she wanted to. By now, she had grown comfortable enough in his presence to know that he was not going to kick her out because of a question. "I'd quite like some wine and I've got some really good wine in my quarters, would you care to join me?"

For a second, Snape looked surprised but then he schooled his features. It annoyed Hermione that he still put on an act around her. While she appreciated that he was slightly different when they were alone, she was well aware that he had his guards up. She figured that it was a case of old habits dying hard.

"I doubt that it would be appropriate for a member of staff to be in a student's personal quarters," Snape said slowly, looking uncharacteristically unsure of himself.

Hermione noticed that he didn't say that he didn't want to and thought of how she would get him to agree. Just why she wanted him to, she was not entirely sure, she just knew that she wanted him to agree quite badly.

"Look, I don't think it's inappropriate, what with all the time I've been spending here, and I doubt you think it is, otherwise you wouldn't have allowed me to be down here this much. And if you're worried that someone would see us in the corridors and jump to false conclusions, we could floo to my room, presuming you have a floo, but that, to me, feels as if we are doing something inappropriate, which we aren't, so I don't think that's a very good idea. Now, will you come with me or will you stay here?" She knew that if he declined her offer a second time there wasn't much she would be able to do so she crossed her fingers behind her back, hoping that he would accept the invitation.

Snape didn't reply but simply stood up and gestured towards the door.

At first Hermione thought that he was ushering her out but then she saw him roll down his sleeves and button them. He put on a cloak and walked over to the door.

"Well, are you coming?" he said and smirked at her. His eyes shone with amusement at the look of surprise in her eyes, as she put on her shoes and cloak in a hurry before joining him at the door. He waited until she had put on her glamour charm before he opened the door.

* * *

><p><strong>Snape's POV<strong>

They walked through the corridors in silence without bumping into anyone. That was not surprising seeing as there was hardly anyone left in the castle over Christmas. Snape wondered why he had just agreed to drink wine in Hermione's quarters. She was a student after all, a fact that he seemed to forget very often as of lately. He gave her a quick glance and noticed that she was struggling to keep up with his quick pace. It was a habit of his and he had never realised that other people might find it hard to keep up with him. He slowed down slightly, ignoring Hermione's eyes when she looked up at him in surprise. It dawned on him that he didn't know where her quarters were so he gestured for her to lead the way. A few minutes later, he found himself in the Gryffindor corridor.

"Naturally," he remarked, earning a small smirk from her. "My favourite corridor in the entire castle," he said sarcastically.

"Now, now, be nice or I might give you the bad wine," she smiled.

Snape turned towards her with a mock angry look on his face and she elbowed him in his side and quickly approached her portrait hole before he could say anything. She whispered her password quickly, hoping that he wouldn't hear it.

Snape did hear her password and almost choked when he heard it. Then he smirked.

"Really, was that the best you could do?" he teased her as he followed her through the portrait hole.

"Shush," she replied and attempted to give him a stern glance but failed sorely.

"Well, at least know that I would relish saying your password were I ever to say it," he said as the corners of his mouth curled upwards into a resemblance of a smile.

Snape was pleased to see that there was nothing decidedly girly in the sitting room they entered, as that definitely would have made him uncomfortable. Instead, her sitting room was decorated in browns and blues, with the slightest hint of Gryffindor red in certain places. Then again, he hadn't really expected her to have a pink room. He saw her gesture for him to sit down and so he took a seat in one of the chairs, after removing his cloak. She got out her wand and removed her glamour charm. As usual, she flinched for a second when she felt the scars return. A moment later, she had lit the fireplace and walked over to a cabinet along one of the walls. She pulled out two glasses, a corkscrew and a bottle of what looked like white wine.

"Have our own stash of alcohol, do we?" he said and watched her blush slightly at his remark. The touch of colour on her cheeks suited her, he decided.

"Not in the way you're implying," she replied with a smile and opened the bottle with the corkscrew. She poured them a glass each and handed one to him.

To his surprise and satisfaction the wine was cool, but not cold, and he realised that she must have been using a cooling charm on the cabinet. Something most young wizards and witches did not know when it came to wine was that if a simple cooling charm were used on the wine just before serving, the wine would be ruined. Instead, it had to be stored in a cool area in order to get chilled slowly. He nodded his thanks at her and watched her remove her cloak and shoes before she sat down in the other chair.

"I have to say that I am disappointed that your rooms aren't decorated in bright pink," he said and took a sip of wine. He enjoyed the fact that he was able to say comments like that and not have to wonder whether or not she took him seriously. He knew that she knew that he was joking.

"My apologies. I suppose I should let you know that I was disappointed that you didn't live in a dungeon cell when I first entered your quarters," she joked back.

"I used to," he said seriously, "but I found that the cells could be of better use when punishing students and so I donated them to Argus."

"Of course," she said and laughed slightly.

"This wine is excellent," he said earnestly. "Muggle-made wine is far better than elf-made."

"Yes, I think so. I got this in France last summer," she replied and got lost in thoughts as the memories of her trip returned to her.

Snape noticed her disappearing into her mind and looked down at the table in front of him. Books and magazines covered her coffee table, much like his. He was surprised to find the latest issue of _Potions International_ as well as several other science magazines.

"When are you leaving tomorrow?" he asked, deciding it was time to snap her out of her thoughts.

"The Headmistress has made me a portkey that I can activate whenever I want and I think I will leave sometime after breakfast," she replied and took a sip of wine.

"Will you be wearing your glamour on your trip?" he asked curiously.

"I… I haven't decided yet. I think so," Hermione replied quietly and looked down.

Every time her scars were mentioned, Hermione would look unhappy and uncomfortable and he decided it was about time he did something about it. They had been working together for several weeks now and he had expected her to be more comfortable with showing her scars by now.

"Why? There won't be anyone that you know there," he said.

"You know why," Hermione replied, sounding slightly annoyed.

"What I do know is that you haven't come to terms with your scars yet and I think that it is about time that you did. Whilst we may be able to remove them later, there is also a chance that we might not, and you can only take the Navitas elixir for so long. You need to accept them, Hermione. Being by yourself around strangers would be a good way to start," he persisted, his eyes boring into hers.

Hermione was quiet for a few minutes, absorbing his words.

"I want to but I can't. They disgust me, I can't even look at myself in a mirror, let alone touch them," she whispered, her voice wavering slightly.

"I see," Snape replied, considering his next words carefully. He realised that in order to help her, he would have to reveal a bit more about himself, something he was not usually willing to do. He unbuttoned his left shirtsleeve and pulled it up. "It took me a long time before I came to terms with seeing this every day," he said softly and held up his arm to show her his mark, which was now a shade of dark grey. He noticed her gasp slightly at hearing him speak so openly about his mark. "I was lucky that I was able to hide it without using a charm. Hence there was no hurry for me to come to terms with it. However, my life became a lot easier when I did. For me the key was touching it," he continued and placed two fingers on his mark. "You can't touch yours yet, can you?" he asked and lowered his arm.

Hermione simply shook her head.

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><p><strong>Hermione's POV<strong>

Hermione was shocked that he had showed her his mark; it was not something that she had ever expected him to show her. Snape was now leaning forward in his chair, his face carrying a look of concern. His eyes bore into hers, forcing her to look into his.

"Try," he urged her.

Hermione decided that she would give it a try, if not for her own sake, then for his. She knew that he wouldn't drop the subject until he felt done with it. She lifted her hand to her face and let two fingers touch the top of the scar on her face. Involuntarily, she shivered and dropped the hand.

"I don't want to," she said clearly, daring him to question her.

Snape looked at her for a few moments, clearly contemplating his next move. He stood up and walked over to her.

"Stand up," he said softly.

Hermione was too curious as to what he was going to do to refuse and so she stood up. Now they were standing a few inches apart, looking into each other's eyes.

"Do you trust me?" Snape asked.

"Yes, of course," Hermione replied straightaway.

"Close your eyes," he commanded.

Hermione closed her eyes and tensed slightly, she didn't like not being in charge of a situation. At first nothing happened and she wondered why he was making her stand there with her eyes closed, feeling very silly. Then she felt a light fingertip touch her right temple gently. A second one soon joined it and to Hermione's surprise they began caressing the side of her face. His touch was light as a feather and she began to lean into it after just a few moments. With her sight gone and the silence of the room, the only thing she registered were the gentle movements on her face. The movements were pleasant and she caught herself wishing he would touch more of her face. More than a minute of light caresses passed before Snape pulled away. She opened her eyes as she felt his hands disappear. He had taken a step back but was still standing very close to her.

"That is how one of your scars feel, Hermione. It is _not_ disgusting. Don't you dare think that way about any part of you," he said slowly, in a serious tone.

Hermione wanted to embrace him out of gratitude but knew that that was out of the question so she settled for taking hold of one of his hands. She made it cup her face, on the scarred side, and put her own hand on top of it.

"Thank you," she said softly and looked into his eyes to convey her gratitude. As he looked somewhat uncomfortable she decided to put him out of his misery. "I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable, it isn't my intent and I shouldn't burden you with this," she apologised and dropped her own hand, leaving him free to remove his. To her surprise he kept his hand around her cheek and looked into her eyes. What she saw in his eyes said more than anything he could ever have said. There was acceptance in them, acceptance of her and their friendship, as well as understanding and kindness. She had never seen him look at her in that way before. After another couple of intense moments he dropped his hand and returned to the chair. She did the same and pondered what had just transpired between them. It had felt very intimate to say the least. She took a large sip of wine and refilled their glasses.

"So you have a floo connection?" He quirked one eyebrow questioningly and looked at her with a curious smirk.


	14. Chapter 13

**Thank you so much for your reviews, got 15 for the last chapter alone, which is a new record for this story – made me very happy! This chapter has parts of Berlin of it, it's one of my favourite cities and I actually went there last weekend, hence the lack of updates. However, I don't like it when there's too much focus on which restaurant the couple goes to (is it fancy or not?) and what they order (do they like this or that?) so I chose not to put those kind of details into the story on purpose. Hope you like it. **

**Andrea xx**

**JaneA0202:** Whilst I don't agree with you, I understand where you're coming from. I suppose what I like when reading or writing stories about horrible or depressing things is that in the fiction; it usually turns out alright (e.g. the bully gets punished) which I find is a relief, as in real life that is not always the case. So for me, reading stories about bad things can sometimes be comforting. However, I respect your point of view and completely get where you're coming from (the Gossip Girl TV-series is my form of escapism).

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><p>It took Snape almost two whole days to figure out why he felt as though something was wrong. The first time he had felt the unfamiliar feeling was on the evening of 22 December, when he had been in his rooms, reading a book and sipping on a glass of brandy. It had made him lose concentration and the book was soon placed on the table in front of him. Whilst it had disturbed him that he did not know what was wrong, he had also felt that it was nothing bad, per say, and he had been confident that it would come to him soon.<p>

By Thursday night he had convinced himself that there was nothing amiss and that he was just being paranoid. He spent the whole day in his laboratory, brewing potions for the infirmary. It was only when he returned to his rooms, after having supper in the Great Hall, that he realised what was wrong: Hermione. Since they had started working together a few weeks back, he had seen her every day and he had gotten used to having her around. In fact, sometimes he even looked forward to her presence. It had now been two days since she had left for Berlin and he realised, to his confusion, that the lack of her presence annoyed him. The concept of missing someone was foreign to him but he realised that was probably what he was feeling. As he knew that she could not possibly miss his company, he decided to snap out of it and try to put some distance between them when she came home. It would not do for them to become better acquainted than they already were. He was still her professor, after all.

On Christmas Day, Snape woke up at the same time he always did, as he had never considered the day very special. When he was a child, his parents had barely celebrated it, and when he had spent the holidays at Hogwarts as a child, he had felt more out of place than he usually did as he felt unable to sympathise with the joy and cheeriness of all the other students and the staff. Nowadays, he barely received any presents, only one from Minerva and before his death, one from Albus, but he didn't care much for presents anyway, so this did not bother him very much.

However, when he entered his sitting room on this particular Christmas Day, there was a large grey owl sitting on the coffee table, with a letter tied to one of its legs. He pulled out an owl treat from a small box he kept on one of the bookshelves and gave it to the bird before he removed the letter. There was only a simple "S" scribbled on the envelope but he recognised the handwriting immediately. Hermione. He wondered why she'd sent him a letter on Christmas Day and tore it open.

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><p><em>Dear Severus,<em>

_It is two o'clock in the morning as I'm writing this and it is now officially Christmas Day. As I'm sure you can understand, I find it hard to go to sleep. _

_First of all, I would like to thank you. I took your advice on getting used to my scars and have now been without glamour charms for three days. Whilst I can't say that it has been a pleasurable experience, it's not as bad as I expected it to be and I thank you for making me realise that. _

_I came to Berlin thinking I could just get away from it all but instead it just seems to catch up with me more and more. It's taken me a few days to realise that I shouldn't be alone on Christmas and that I would like to celebrate this holiday with a friend. I would therefore like to ask you if you would like to portkey to Berlin later today and have dinner together. Just write your response and give it to Gregory, the owl. _

_Oh, and I went to the magical part of the Alte Bibliothek and found something that might be useful, but I won't write it here as will never finish the letter if I do._

_Hermione_

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><p>To say that Snape was shocked by Hermione's invitation was an understatement. He found himself smiling slightly at the second part of her letter as he found himself enjoying the fact that he had helped her. When he reached the part saying that she would like to celebrate Christmas with a friend, his thoughts had immediately gone to Potter and Weasley, which had darkened his mind slightly. However, when he realised that she asked him if he wanted to celebrate Christmas with her, he thought that he must be insane. He reread the sentence three times before he believed it. The last part of her letter made him look forward to their next working session.<p>

When it came to his reply, he was unsure of what to write. He realised that he very much wanted to meet her in Berlin but knew that meeting a student, alone, over the holidays did not fall in the 'appropriate' category. For a moment, he considered asking Minerva about it but then he came to the conclusion that it was his choice, not hers. Hermione was of age and it was not as if they would be doing anything inappropriate. Come to think of it, they were friends and would just be having dinner, nothing strange about it. He summoned a piece of parchment and a quill and wrote his reply.

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><p><em>Hermione,<em>

_I accept your invitation and will portkey to Berlin at 7 pm. Give me your address and I shall pick you up at your hotel. _

_Severus_

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><p>It was more than a little chilly when Snape arrived outside Hermione's hotel in Mitte, Berlin. He had decided to dress in muggle attire so as to not raise any unnecessary attention and was therefore wearing simple black slacks, black leather shoes, a crisp white shirt and a black jacket. He had decided not to wear a tie, as he didn't want to make it seem as though he had dressed up. At precisely five minutes past seven, he walked into the reception of her hotel and found her sitting on a chair, waiting for him. Her eyes lit up when she saw him and she stood up and walked towards him. To his surprise, she gave him a quick hug and he found his own arms reach up and touch her shoulders slightly before she moved away.<p>

"It's good to see you," Hermione remarked, smiling slightly. She was wearing a navy coloured blouse, with a large bow loosely tied slightly below her neck, tucked into a black pencil skirt that ended just below her knees. A pair of thick black stockings covered her legs and she was wearing a pair of patent black flats on her feet. Her normally unruly hair had been tamed into a loose hair slide at the back of her head.

Snape was not sure whether it was because it was the first time that he had seen her out of school since they had become friends or if it was because of what she was wearing, but he could not help but notice her appearance, something he did not usually do. Tonight, he thought she looked rather lovely and he quickly suppressed the thought and reminded himself of the fact that she was one of his students. He was aware of the fact that she was showing her scars in public and that she had only used a little bit of muggle make up to cover them up. Knowing and seeing that she was comfortable doing this pleased him.

"Hogwarts isn't the same without its resident know-it-all," Snape remarked dryly and raised an eyebrow at her. What he really had wanted to say was, 'it is good to see you too', but he had found himself unable to voice those words. He knew that she would understand what he meant anyway.

"You must really have missed me," Hermione replied ironically and motioned for them to leave the hotel. They walked in silence for about ten minutes until they reached a small restaurant in the area around Rosenthaler Platz.

"I made reservations," Hermione said and entered through the door. She told the head waiter her name and he lead them to a small table in the back of the restaurant, by a window. It was a small Japanese restaurant and the room was decorated with various Japanese paintings and other artefacts. Snape found that the, for him, unusual setting was quite comfortable as it made him feel as though he could forget his usual role.

"You do like Japanese food, right? I've never heard you say that you dislike a particular food and so I figured you wouldn't mind this," Hermione said, sounding slightly unsure of herself, as she gave her coat to a waiter and sat down.

"I do," he replied as he reciprocated her actions.

"Good. What have you been up to these last couple of days?" Hermione asked as she opened her menu.

"Brewing potions for the infirmary," he answered briefly. "However, what I would really like to hear about is what you found in the library."

"The basic idea is that the spell that reveals the magical levels, the one you used on me, could perhaps be altered as to show the magical levels in another way, hopefully as a magical pattern," she suggested and awaited his reaction.

Snape was quiet for a few moments and contemplated what she had said. "I think that might work," he said after a while. "Do you have any ideas of how to alter the spell?"

"I do. But let's not discuss it now, it's the holidays after all," Hermione replied with a small smile. "Do you want to share a bottle of wine? And perhaps one of those big mixed sushi trays for two?" she suggested.

Snape nodded his approval and showed her a wine on the wine list that he knew was good and they then ordered the drinks and food.

"You know, you look really good tonight," Hermione said and tilted her head slightly. When she realised how it sounded, she blushed furiously. "I didn't mean it like that, I simply meant that you look a lot more comfortable outside the Hogwarts walls, when you're not in your usual teaching attire and…" she rambled on, very embarrassed, before Snape put a hand up and silenced her.

"Do stop rambling," he said with a smirk as he took a sip of the wine the waiter had just served him to try. He nodded his approval to the waiter who went on to serve Hermione before he refilled Snape's glass.

"Well, cheers I suppose. To... newfound friendship, if it's not too cheesy" Hermione said and raised one of her eyebrows as she lifted her glass and inclined it slightly towards Snape.

"Indeed," Snape replied, gave her a small nod, and took a sip of his wine.

"I was thinking about you this morning and I realised that I know hardly anything about you, whilst you know a lot about me. I don't suppose you'd like to tell me more about you?" she asked softly and looked at him curiously.

"Hermione, I… I am a very private man, as I am confident that you know," Snape began, not quite sure of how to continue. Whilst he was not completely averse to the idea of telling her about himself, he didn't want to do so in public. "There are some things I would be willing to tell you about, but I… am not comfortable doing so in public," he replied slowly and met her eyes, trying to show her that he wasn't pushing her away.

"That's fine," Hermione replied softly and put her hand over his on the table. She rubbed her thumb in comforting circles over his hand and to his surprise; he found that he did not mind the contact.

Snape arched an eyebrow at her questioningly when she did not remove her hand from his, thinking it would make her retrieve her hand, but instead she just raised both eyebrows, as if she was saying 'so what?' and kept her hand on his.

"Have you been to Berlin before?" she asked.

"Once. I was here with my mother when I was ten years old, which was before the wall fell, and unfortunately I don't remember much. How many times have you been here?"

"Five times, including this one. I just love this city. The people, the bars, the restaurants, the cafés, the museums – everything. I could see myself living here someday," Hermione replied and removed her hand as the waiter placed a large tray of mixed sushi and sashimi on the table between them.

The evening continued pleasantly and just as Snape was about to activate the portkey that was to take him back to Hogsmeade, Hermione gave him another hug and this time he reciprocated it before thinking.


	15. Chapter 14

**Thank you for your reviews. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update, university has been really busy lately and will unfortunately continue to be for the next couple of weeks. Hope you all are well. **

**Andrea xx**

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><p><strong>Hermione's POV<strong>

The castle was still eerily quiet when Hermione returned from Berlin, on a Monday, two days after Christmas Day. It was late afternoon when she entered her rooms, retrieved her shrunken suitcase from a pocket and unshrank it. She felt content to be at home and sat down on her couch.

It had been a very useful trip, though not in the way she had expected it to be. She had thought she could just leave the country and forget all about her parents and Ron and Harry, and spend some time on research at the same time. When in fact, what she really had wanted to was to celebrate the holidays with a friend. The only problem was that the friend she had wanted to celebrate with hadn't been on her mind when she went through the list of possible friends to spend the holidays with. In retrospect, she found it strange that it hadn't occurred to her that the person she wanted to spend the holidays with was Snape, seeing as how much time they were spending together. Then again, whilst her heart had moved him from the "teacher" group to the "friends" group quite soon after they had started working together, it had taken her mind a lot longer to do the same thing. However, now that it had, she realised that she considered him to be one of her closest friends. Speaking (thinking) of the man, she decided she might as well go pay him a visit.

Hermione unpacked quickly and changed into a pair of comfortable black jeans and a long grey cardigan, as the dungeons were usually very cold at this time of the year. A short walk later she entered her professor's sitting room feeling, to her surprise, very much as if she was coming home. It really was amazing how adaptable the human mind was. The sitting room was empty and to her surprise she felt a slight twinge of disappointment. She realised that Snape was probably in his laboratory working and so she decided to have a seat and wait for him. As usual, there were a large number of books and magazines spread out on the coffee table. She picked up the latest issue of _Mortar and Pestle International_ and began to read an article about blood-replenishing potions. Moments later she was engrossed in the article and had entered her own private world the way she usually did when reading. Therefore, it was hardly surprising that she did not notice when Snape entered the room. Only when he sat down on his usual chair did she register movement in the corner of her eyes. She put the magazine down and gave the man a small smile.

"Hello," she said softly and pulled up her knees underneath her, making herself comfortable on the sofa.

"Good afternoon," Snape reciprocated and if he was surprised that she had chosen to pay him a visit the moment she returned, he did not show it. "Was your trip successful?" he asked in a voice bearing an uncharacteristic resemblance to tentativeness. It was obvious to both of them that he wasn't asking about their work.

"Yes, though not in the way I expected it to be," Hermione began quietly and bit her bottom lip. "It's rather funny actually, how naïve I was, thinking I could just go away and forget everything," she continued dryly.

In the meantime, Snape had removed his shoes and was now wearing just socks, a pair of black slacks and a white shirt. Hermione briefly wondered if the man ever wore anything other than shirts.

"I considered telling you but I believed it would be better if you found out on your own," Snape said slowly and looked at her pensively. "If I had told you, I doubt you would have believed me, and as a consequence, the next time you might feel the need to escape like that, you might succeed in suppressing your memories and emotions, which would be unhealthy to say the least."

"You're right, of course," she acknowledged his words and was silent for a couple of moments. "May I ask you something personal?" she asked, looking uncertain.

Snape simply gestured for her to continue.

"Is that the reason you keep the disturbing memories of 10 December in your mind? Because you think suppressing memories and emotions is unhealthy? I mean, seeing as you could just remove them and place them in your pensieve if you wanted to forget about them," Hermione asked softly, feeling as though she was treading on thin ice.

Snape was quiet for several moments and Hermione was confident that she had crossed the line for their friendship. When he finally opened his mouth to speak, she was certain he was going to kick her out of his quarters.

"I never said I wanted to forget about what I did, Hermione," Snape replied, his voice sounding oddly strained.

"I'm sorry, I just assumed since they seem to cause you so much pain," she apologized. "You don't have to reply to my question," she continued hurriedly.

Once again, Snape was quiet and stared into the air for a couple of minutes and Hermione was unsure whether or not she should just get up and leave. She felt bad for making him uncomfortable.

"When I first joined Voldemort, I was attracted to the power he held. He was so intelligent and so clever that I felt privileged to be a member of his group. In the beginning, the only thing I did was brewing potions for him. For the first time in my life, I had access to some of the most rare ingredients as well as the perfect laboratory to try them out in. It was exhilarating to say the least. However, on 10 December 1979, when I was 19 years old, he asked me to participate in a raid. By that time, I had learnt that one did not argue with Voldemort so naturally I obeyed. I was part of a group of five death eaters that was about to attack a Muggle orphanage situated in a wizarding village. There were thirty-one children and five matrons living at the orphanage and we murdered them all. I killed five children and one matron. Four girls, one boy and one woman. When I returned home that night, that was when I first regretted joining Voldemort. However, it took more than that before I had the guts to go to Dumbledore," he said slowly, pausing for a few moments. "I don't ever want to forget about that night. Forgetting about it would mean coming to terms with what I did and that is something I never will," Snape finished. His eyes had gone blank during his speech and only now did his senses seem to return. Instead of looking away, his dark eyes bore into hers.

Knowing that she had to say something straight away, she said the first thing that came to her mind.

"I understand, but I hope you're not still blaming yourself for that night," Hermione said quietly and met his eyes.

"How could I not?" he asked in a raspy voice.

"You were young and made a mistake, a mistake that you've atoned for many times over since then," she replied in a serious tone, imploring him to see it from her point of view.

"Whilst I may have done good things since then, what I did was unforgivable and I deserve to suffer the consequences, even if the only punishment I receive is within my own mind. However, I have learnt to live with it."

"And whilst that is good, I hope you can forgive yourself at some point. I know you can't now, but please know that hearing about this hasn't changed my opinion of you in the slightest," she said softly and gave him a small smile.

"You really are strange."

Whilst his words were anything but nice, Hermione could have sworn that they held some measure of affection.

All of a sudden, Hermione felt a strong urge to hug the other man or at least touch him. She felt she needed to somehow make it clear to him that their friendship wasn't in any way affected by what he had just told her and the only way she knew to do that involved physical contact. If it had been anyone else, she would have embraced him long ago but she knew he didn't like it when people invaded his personal space. Then again, she figured she had already pushed the boundaries as far as possible earlier and if he had been fine with that, he should be fine with her next request as well.

"Please would you come and sit next to me?" she asked and glanced at a spot beside her on the sofa.

Snape raised an eyebrow questioningly and looked at her for clarification.

"Humour me."

To her satisfaction, he stood up and walked the few steps to the sofa in his usual graceful manner. He sat down on her left side and gave her a look that said "what now?" Before he got the chance to change his mind, Hermione clasped his right hand in her left and shifted so that her body leaned comfortably against his, with her head resting on his shoulder. As she had predicted, his whole body tensed and he made a half-hearted attempt to remove his hand from her grip but she simply placed her right hand on top of it and held his hand in gentle, but firm, grip. Slowly but surely, she felt him relax and allow the contact. When she sensed that he was comfortable enough not to try and pull away, she eased her grip on his hand and began caressing it gently with her fingers.

"You could have just told me that you wanted a pillow and I would have transfigured you one," he muttered dryly but Hermione knew that he meant no harm with his words.

"Yes, but it wouldn't be as comfortable," she said softly against his shoulder.

After what Hermione believed to be about ten minutes or so, she felt his hand leave hers only to move up behind her and finally end up on her right shoulder. She smiled inwardly and felt more than a little pleased that he had initiated another form of contact.

They remained in that position, their sides touching, with her head on his shoulder and his arm around her shoulders. About an hour later, they were interrupted by the sound of Hermione's stomach rumbling. To her surprise, Snape gave a slight chuckle at the sound.

"Perhaps we should go upstairs, supper started ten minutes ago," Snape remarked.

"Mmh," she agreed. "I had almost fallen asleep," she replied and yawned.

"I noticed," he said and removed his arm from her shoulders. "Give me five minutes and I'll meet you upstairs." He stood up and began putting on his shoes.

Hermione rose and walked over to him and gave his arm a gentle caress before exiting his rooms.


	16. Chapter 15

**Thanks to each and every one of you who reviewed! I just realised that this story is now almost 60 pages in a word document, making it one of the longest stories I've ever written - your reviews are definitely one of the reasons why I keep writing it, so thank you. **

**AllyZ:** I think you have a fair point; it's something that's hit me as well. If I ever rewrite/ edit this story I will probably change the timeline slightly to make it more plausible.

**Enjoy!**

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><p>The remainder of the holiday passed by much too quickly for Hermione's taste, as she had come to enjoy the silent state of the castle during holidays. She spent the bigger part of most days in Snape's quarters, with the two of them only attending breakfast and dinner in the Great Hall. Due to the increased amount of time Hermione had gone without a glamour since the beginning of the holidays, her energy levels were higher than they had been in a long time, even higher than when she had first taken the Navitas elixir. She was now almost completely at ease with not wearing a glamour charm in front of Snape, so comfortable that one tired afternoon when they walked to dinner, she had even forgotten to put it on as she left his quarters and he had needed to remind her.<p>

To the satisfaction of both Hermione and Snape, their research had progressed slightly which reduced the feeling of hopelessness they began feeling before Christmas. Hermione's idea of altering the spell detecting magical levels had proved valid and they had now managed to change the spell so that instead of showing the magical levels in coloured clouds around the body, the clouds had changed into different shapes, such as circles, squares, rune-like symbols, lines etc. They had tested the spell on all the current residents of the castle and had discovered that even if some people had the same level of energy, meaning that the spell resulted in the same colours, the shapes and the combination of shapes would turn out very differently. When Snape performed the spell on Hermione, her magic would come up as lines of different lengths and sizes that would circle around her body. When she performed it on Snape, his magic would turn into a combination of circles and rune-like lines. Even though they were not completely sure of where they would go from there, it had been a major breakthrough as they had been able to create a way of seeing, not just knowing or feeling, the differences between two people's magic. Their next goal was to find a way to look at the magic of a specific body part, not just the whole body, and to come up with a way to make the shapes more distinguished. If they were successful, they would have to find a way to interpret the magical pattern into something that could be translated into ingredients. All in all, whilst they had made some progress, they still had a long way to go.

It was now the last night before the students would return from the holidays and Hermione and Snape had returned to his quarters after the last supper with everyone, teachers and students alike, sitting at the same table.

"I think we've done enough work for today, don't you?" Hermione said, fatigue obvious in her voice, as she plopped down on the sofa.

Snape eyed her with a strange expression in his eyes for a second or two before he adjusted his features and nodded at her.

"Wine?" he asked as he moved towards the cupboard where he kept his white wines chilled.

"Please," Hermione replied softly. She removed her outer robes, leaving her in just black leggings and a long jumper in navy blue, and sat cross-legged.

Snape poured wine into two glasses and gave Hermione one of them, before sitting down himself.

"I can't believe this will be my last term," Hermione mused aloud. "Well, of course I can believe it but it will be strange leaving this place," she explained and took a sip of wine.

"Have you decided what you will do afterwards?" Snape asked curiously.

"No," she replied and shook her head with a sad smile playing on her lips. "That's one of the reasons why I came back here for this final year – I didn't know what else to do. I thought this year could help me figure out what I wanted to do but I'm as uncertain as ever."

"Well, you seem to enjoy learning, why not go to university before you start working?" he suggested.

"I do. I'm just not sure what I can see myself doing in the future. Before and during the war I wasn't even sure I had a future. I thought that I would need NEWTs for whatever I want to do so that's the only thing I focused on, only to find that no, I don't need NEWTs since I am a 'war hero'," she said sarcastically. "But I never really spent any time considering my future career because I had to focus completely on the war. When it all ended last summer I had absolutely no idea what to do. Everyone else just seemed so sure and I just… didn't know. I still don't know..."

"So you came here," Snape finished her sentence. "Have you ever considered the fact that the reason you seem to find making a decision more difficult than your classmates is the fact that you are apt at a wider range of subjects than they are? You will have the grades to do whatever you want and I assume you that you have already received a number of job offers?"

"Yes. However, most of them were from the ministry and I could never see myself working there."

"Me neither," Snape concurred. "What do you think of teaching now that you have tried it for a while?" he asked, thinking about her position as Transfigurations assistant.

"I enjoy it but it is not something I see myself doing for the rest of my life. Not that there is anything with being a teacher, but I think I would prefer a smaller working place than a school. I've spent most of my life living with many people and I've come to realise that I prefer peace and quiet. It's one of the reasons why I love being down here," she said with a smile. "I think I might want to move abroad for a while. Whilst the magical community in Britain is comfortable, I think I would prefer to live somewhere where there is a larger magical community, like Germany or France. Perhaps I should go to university there…" she trailed off, lost in thought.

"_L'Académie de Magie_ in Lyon is excellent, as is the _Magische Universität_ in Berlin. I am confident that you won't have a problem getting accepted, what with your grades and the references you will receive when you leave here."

"Yes, those two are definitely options worth considering," she replied thoughtfully. "I would also like to do some travelling first, during the summer perhaps."

"That sounds like a good idea. As long as you're not running away," he said and raised an eyebrow.

"No, I'll definitely make sure that I plan my next year before I go travelling. If only so that I have something to come back to," she said quietly and looked down for a moment. "Will you be staying as a teacher?"

Snape was silent for a few moments before he replied. "I haven't made a decision yet. I told Minerva that I would come back for a year to see how I found it now that I didn't have double roles to play. Whilst it hasn't been a completely unpleasant experience, I can't say that I enjoy teaching any more now than I did before and during the war. If I do leave Hogwarts, I will probably start working as a private potioneer. I never was any good at working with and around many people," he said and smirked slightly before his eyes turned dark. "Though I doubt people will want to buy potions from me unless I sell them under a different name."

Hermione wanted to contradict his statement but knew that he was right and so she refrained.

"Wouldn't it be nice to just start over somewhere else? Where people don't know who we are and where we could just be ourselves. And I don't mean running away from life here, I'd still keep in touch with everyone here, but I would love the opportunity to create a reputation from scratch, wouldn't you?" Hermione mused with a dreamy look on her face.

The look on Snape's face said it all. It was very rare that he let her see his emotions completely but tonight he did. There was a wide range of emotions in his eyes. Sadness at the fact that he couldn't change what he had done in his life, anger at the way people saw him, longing for a place where people didn't know him mixed with feelings of pain of having no one but himself to blame for his predicament. Hermione absorbed all this for a few moments before she decided to speak.

"Severus, I can't say that I know you very well, but I know you well enough to be able to say that I am glad that I have the opportunity to get to know you," Hermione said softly and tried to convey the meaning of her words with her eyes. To her great joy, Snape awarded her one of his rare smiles.

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><p><strong>Snape's POV<strong>

They remained in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts. They had finished the bottle of wine long ago and Snape considered opening a new one when he noticed that Hermione was about to fall asleep. She had slowly, but surely, shifted on the sofa so that she was lying down. A loud yawn later, and she turned to look at him questioningly.

"Do you mind if I sleep here?" she asked as if it was the most natural question in the world.

Snape was too surprised by her question to think of a good response so instead he just summoned a blanket from his bedroom and levitated it to her.

"Thanks. Good night." She spread out the blanket over her body and closed her eyes.

For a long time, more than two hours at least, Snape sat regarding the young woman sleeping on his sofa. He wondered when they had moved past the line where she got so comfortable in his presence that she felt she could sleep in his quarters. Yes, she had done so after that horrible night in December, but that was only because they had both been very distraught and tired after their conversation on the floor. He had not thought twice about it. Now, however, he realised that there was absolutely no other reason for her to sleep in his quarters other than the fact that she wanted to. Somehow, and he really did not know how, she seemed to enjoy his presence. In the back of his head he was aware that it was not appropriate for a student to spend the night in a teacher's quarters, but since it was technically still the holidays, he silenced that thought. For some inexplicable reason, he felt that he did not want to go against Hermione's wishes. If she was comfortable here, who was he to deny her the comfort? Merlin knew she deserved whatever comfort and pleasure she could find. If it turned out that he was able to provide her with a bit of either, regardless of how small or insignificant the amount was, it was worth it. Whilst the concept of caring for other people was not foreign to Snape, it had been a long time since he had last felt this way about someone. He decided that Hermione seemed to be in need of a friend and he was definitely in need of one, and so he decided he would try to be there for her in any way that he could.

A quiet snore interrupted his train of thoughts and to his surprise, he found himself smiling slightly at the sound. He relished the feeling that he had been able to provide her with some kind of comfort. Since the students would be returning the next day, he knew that she would have to put up her walls again, both internal and external, and that it would tire her. It warmed his heart to know that he was able to give her some last hours of peace before real life began again.

All of a sudden, it dawned on him that he had spent a ridiculous amount of time staring at Hermione and he decided that he should retire. He leaned towards her and removed a strand of hair that lay across her face before blowing out all the lights in the room with a flick of his wand as he entered his bedroom for the night.


	17. Chapter 16

**As always, your reviews make me very happy. So thanks! Don't have that much school this week so managed to write another part. Apologies to those of you who love Ron and Harry, I don't and hence they're not the nicest of people in this fic. Enjoy and please review. **

**Andrea xx**

**Snape's POV**

Hermione had already left Snape's quarters by the time he woke up and entered the sitting room. The blanket lay neatly folded on the sofa, with a piece of parchment resting on top. Snape picked it up and swiftly read the short note.

_I woke up at six and figured that it was best if no one saw me leave your rooms in the morning. Will have an early breakfast and come down here at nine if that's acceptable to you. _

_H_

Snape found himself taking a shower and dressing rather quickly. It was only quarter to eight by the time he reached the Great Hall. He found that the tables had been returned to their usual places and so he made his way up to the Head Table. It was empty, with the exception of Minerva. Unsurprisingly, the rest of the faculty wanted to enjoy their last chance at a lie-in before the new term began. As usual, Minerva greeted him in her swift manner and he simply nodded back. She knew better than to try to talk to him before he had had his coffee. He poured some coffee into a cup in front of him and put his hands around the cup, savouring the warmth. Hermione was sitting all alone at the Gryffindor table, reading the Daily Prophet. He watched her snort and roll her eyes at an article before she closed the entire paper and simply at her coffee instead. He smirked as he wondered what rubbish the good-for-nothing-paper had printed today.

The owls chose that moment to arrive and as there were hardly any students left at the school over the holidays, there were only two owls. One of which landed next to Minerva and the second one next to Hermione. He watched Hermione read her letter and noticed that she frowned slightly before she sighed. She finished her breakfast a moment later and to his surprise, she walked straight up to the Head Table afterwards.

"Good morning, Professor McGonagall, Professor Snape," she said in her usual soft voice as she approached them.

"Good morning, dear," Minerva replied and smiled at her favourite student.

Snape simply inclined his head in a small nod and looked at her expectantly.

"Professor Snape, I know we said that we would work today, but is there any chance I could take the day off?" Hermione asked, looking slightly awkward.

"Why?" he asked curtly and raised an eyebrow.

"Severus, give the girl a break, you've been working almost every day during the holidays," the Headmistress intervened.

"Sir, I just received a letter from Harry and Ron saying that they're going to visit today. I had no idea and since I haven't seen them for ages, I doubt they would take it too kindly if I told them that I'm too busy to see them," she continued, looking slightly guilty.

_And whose fault is it that you haven't seen them for a long time_, he thought caustically. It was obvious to him that she wasn't looking forward to seeing them but if she felt the need to come to him and ask for a day off, he knew that she felt she didn't have a choice. She wasn't one to skip work, after all.

"Very well, Miss Granger, I shall see you tomorrow night," he said after a couple of moments.

"Thank you, Sir," Hermione replied, and whilst there was a smile gracing her lips, the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. "Have a good day, professors," she said and left the room.

Snape watched her leave and felt somewhat disturbed by the fact that she didn't want to see her best friends. Not that she mentioned them very often, but he still thought they were the close friends they had been before and during the war. Perhaps he had been wrong. He decided he would ask her about it when he next saw her.

**Hermione's POV**

It was just before noon when Hermione walked down towards the entrance gates of Hogwarts to meet up with Harry and Ron. She unconsciously dragged her feet behind her. When she finally reached the gates, she found them walking towards her with smiles on their faces.

"'Mione!" Harry exclaimed and picked her up and hugged her tightly. A bit too tightly for her taste, in fact.

"Hey, how are you both?" she replied in what she thought sounded like her cheerful voice and moved over to Ron who hugged her back, if slightly awkward. "It's great to see you, 'Mione," Ron said and grinned.

"We're great, auror training's lots of fun even though our new boss is kind of annoying. He's a bit like Moody in the sense that it almost feels like military training. But we're learning loads though," Harry said with a grin.

"Yeah, and they've began sending us out on test missions in the field. So we're anything but bored," Ron agreed.

"I'm glad to hear that," Hermione smiled.

"Anyway, how are you? How was Christmas? You really show have come with us to the Burrow, it was so much fun! Ginny got this amazing fake teapot from George that turned out to be…."

Hermione tuned out his voice and just smiled and laughed where it seemed appropriate. It took them about 20 minutes to relay everything that had happened over Christmas to her. If she had been glad over not going before, she certainly was now.

"Enough about us, tell us about you 'Mione," Ron said as they walked past the green houses. There was a lot of snow on the ground and it was a beautiful day.

"Well, I'm good. I've been working a lot over the holidays but it's been great as we've managed to make some progress on the potion," she said but was interrupted.

"We as in you and Snape?" Ron asked and looked as if he'd swallowed something nasty.

"Professor Snape, Ron. And yes, we as in Professor Snape and I," Hermione replied and suppressed a sigh.

"How you can work with that git is beyond me," Ron muttered.

"Yeah, and over the holidays as well," Harry added.

"Well, it's good then that I'm the one working with him, not you!" Hermione snapped. She was sick and tired of hearing them complain about Snape every time someone mentioned his name. "Grow up."

Harry looked at her sheepishly and mumbled a quick 'sorry' and elbowed Ron to do the same.

"Hey, could we go to the common room?" Ron asked and lit up at the thought of returning to the Gryffindor tower.

"Sure," Hermione replied and they began walking towards the entrance doors.

As they walked through a corridor on the second floor, Hermione heard footsteps approaching. As they got closer, she noticed that they belonged to Snape.

"Mr Potter, Mr Weasley, how lovely it is to see you. Miss Granger," Snape greeted them in a sarcastic tone.

"Likewise, Professor," Harry replied and smirked at his former teacher.

Ron simply nodded in agreement. To Hermione's surprise, the boys then began walking, as if they didn't want to say another word to Snape. Before she followed them, she turned to Snape and gave him an apologetic glance on behalf of their rudeness. He met her eyes and inclined his head slightly towards Harry and Ron and then towards her as if to ask if everything was all right. Hermione simply shrugged, rolled her eyes and gave him a small smile before she followed the boys.

They ordered lunch to the common room and spent the next two hours discussing Ron's love life. He had, unsurprisingly, broken up with Sophie just before Christmas and since then he had managed to go out with not just one or two, but six different witches, a fact that he liked to brag about. Harry, on the other hand, had broken up with Samantha on two different occasions but they were back together as of the week before Christmas. Hermione had not been this bored in a long time and she wondered how much longer she could take it. She knew that the war had changed her but she hadn't realised that it had changed them in the opposite direction, so that they were now more different than ever. Around three o'clock in the afternoon she felt she could take it no longer.

"Shoot, I just realised I forgot to tell Professor McGonagall what I have planned for next Transfigurations lesson, let me just write her a note," she exclaimed and pulled out a piece of parchment. She walked over to one of the tables and found a quill and began scribbling.

_Any chance you could request my presence immediately? Need to get out of here. _

_H_

Hermione called for a house elf and whispered to him to take the piece of parchment to Snape. Not that she really had to whisper as the boys were talking loudly between themselves. She returned to her chair and waited. Five minutes later, an owl tapped on the window. She got up to let it in and untied the letter. It took all her self-control not to smile as she read it.

_Miss Granger, _

_The potion has reached its new state and requires your immediate attention._

_Prof. Snape_

"Guys, I just got a letter from Professor Snape requesting my presence immediately, it's the potion. I'm really sorry but I'm going to have to go," she said and did her best to sound miserable.

"That git, can't even give you one day off can he," Ron muttered but was silenced by a nudge from Harry.

"We understand. It's been really great seeing you, you should come visit us soon, we could go to a Quidditch match together or something," Harry said with a smile as he got up to hug her.

When they had exchanged their hugs and farewells, Hermione left the common room and breathed a sigh of relief as she entered the empty corridor. She felt as if she had just left a room of two complete strangers. Well, maybe not complete strangers as she felt she knew almost everything about them, but she was a stranger to them for sure. She wondered how they could even think that they knew her. Couldn't they tell that she had changed?

Hermione hurried down towards the dungeons, hoping she wouldn't meet anyone on the way. The moment she entered Snape's office, her body seemed to lose most of its tension and she removed her glamour before entering his sitting room. She found Snape reading a journal, which he closed immediately upon her arrival.

"That bad?" he asked and failed to keep the smirk off his face.

"Oh, shut up," she muttered and plopped herself down on the sofa so that she landed on it in a mess, with hair everywhere. She pushed herself up on one elbow, removed her hair from her face and turned to look at him. "But thank you, seriously."

Snape looked more than a little amused but managed to keep most of it out of his voice as he spoke.

"I can't say I was surprised when I received your note. You looked positively pained when I ran into you in the corridor," he remarked.

Hermione waited a few moments before replying. "I hadn't realised how much we have all changed. It's as if we're even more different now than we were before, and we didn't even have that much in common before the war, to be honest," she said and looked a bit sad for a moment. "And guess what Harry suggested when we said goodbye? He said that we should go to a Quidditch match together. Even after all these years, he hasn't realised that I don't like the sport," Hermione scoffed and turned quiet. "Perhaps I'm the one who's changed for the worse," she mused.

"If you're looking for pity, I am the wrong person. Though Minerva might be interested, presuming you're willing to shed some tears, you know how she likes to feel needed," Snape suggested with humour in his voice.

It took Hermione a moment to register what he'd said but as soon as she did, she began laughing.

"Yes, I think I will actually. Why sit here with you when I can go to Professor McGonagall?" she played along and giggled slightly.

Snape looked quite pleased that he had managed to make her laugh. He watched her giggle for a while before her face turned serious.

"As if. Severus, somehow you have become my best friend in just a few weeks. I don't know how, but Merlin knows I'm glad for it," she said in a sincere voice.

That was when the realisation hit her. She had feelings for the man in front of her. Feelings that were completely inappropriate. _Gods, Hermione, seriously, just because a man is nice to you doesn't mean you have to go and develop feelings for him_, she berated herself. But as she sat there, having just proclaimed that he was her best friend, she realised that there wasn't anything she could do. She knew herself well enough to know that she needed Snape as a friend and there was no way she was going to destroy their friendship by admitting she had feelings for him. It was strange really; she had never looked at him as a potential love interest. However, now that she thought about it, it explained why she was down here all the time and why she wanted to touch and be close to him. Come to think of it, his body was very attractive. She loved the way his long, fine hair fell lined his face and the way he spoke, pronouncing each word as if it was incredibly important. He took her seriously enough, without taking her too seriously as some people had a tendency to do. She gazed into his dark brown eyes and that was when she realised that Snape hadn't replied to her proclamation. _Get a grip_, she admonished herself.

"Sometimes I envy you, Hermione," he said finally, after more than just a few minutes had passed.

Hermione frowned as she tried to comprehend what he meant.

"I wish I had your talent for expressing your emotions. Unfortunately, I have suppressed my emotions far too long for me to be able to voice them like you," he said sadly.

"You don't have to say anything. Well, as long as you don't find me terribly annoying and decide that you want me to leave your rooms, in which case, do speak up," she joked.

"As if." Snape repeated her previous words and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards into a small smile.

**So, there it is, one of them realises that they have feelings for the other. I figured it made more sense if it was Hermione first seeing as she's much better acquainted with her own feelings than Snape is. As always, constructive criticism is appreciated. **


	18. Chapter 17

**Dear all, thank you so much for your reviews, can't believe I now have more than 160! So massive thanks to you all! Here are two short chapters; I said all that I wanted to say in them so figured there was no point in making them longer, so instead of just one short one, you get two in one go. Hope you enjoy them. **

**NoName: **Here's some McGonagall!

**HarryPGinnyW4eva: **Hehe I get your point. To answer your question, I generally like Harry (love Snarry!) but when it comes to fics about Hermione, I prefer it when Harry and Ron play smaller parts. I always loved Harry when reading the books, Ron I never liked as much but I didn't have a problem with him in the books. So basically, as soon as Snape comes into the picture in terms of Hermione, I get rid of both the boys, and when he comes in the picture in terms of Harry, I usually get rid of Ron.

**Charlie74656: **Thank you so much for writing such a long review! Here's one reaction from a member of the faculty.

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><p><strong>Snape's POV<strong>

The first week of the new term went by quickly, as it usually did. It took a couple of days for everyone to return to their old habits, but by the end of the week, everything was back to normal. The teachers were enjoying the rare few days when they had barely anything to grade, whilst the students were complaining about the teachers already giving them essays to write. Hermione and Snape continued on their earlier schedule, meeting up on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays as well as during the weekend.

The first Friday of the new term found Hermione and Snape working late. It was well past midnight when they retired to the sitting room to relax before going to bed. A while later, after they had been silent for some time, Hermione unintentionally fell asleep. Before thinking twice, Snape covered her with a blanket and retired to his own bedroom. When he woke in the morning she had already returned to her own rooms. After taking a shower and dressing in his usual attire, he found a house elf waiting for him outside his quarters.

"The Headmistress wants to see you, Sir," the small creature said and looked scared.

"Thank you," he replied expressionlessly and set off in the direction of the Headmistress' office.

Seeing as the house elf had been told to wait for him outside his quarters, as opposed to in them, he doubted there was anything really important that the Headmistress wished to tell him. However, he was not one for dallying and so he walked briskly to the Headmistress' office. When he got there, he uttered the password and the staircase moved immediately.

"Severus, thank you for joining me at this hour," the Headmistress greeted him, referring to the fact that it was only half past seven.

"Good morning, Minerva," he said calmly and sat down on the chair facing the desk. Whilst there was some kind of friendship between the two of them, he never felt completely at ease around her and made no point of pretending to.

"I apologize for dragging you here this early but I feel that this is something that cannot wait," she explained matter-of-factly.

"I see," he replied, waiting for her to begin.

"The reason I have called you here is your relationship with Miss Granger," the old woman began, watching his face carefully for some kind of reaction to her words.

Whilst the topic of their conversation came as a small surprise, Snape didn't let it on. Instead, he put on a bored look and leaned back, resting his arms on the armrests.

"What on earth has my relationship with Miss Granger got to do with anything?" he said, pronouncing the word relationship as if their relationship was non-existent.

"Now, now, Severus, don't get defensive. I merely wish to straighten some things out," she explained. "It has come to my attention that Miss Granger has been spending the night in your quarters, on occasion. Is this true?"

"Yes," Snape replied immediately, without offering some kind of explanation.

"Would you care to explain why she has been sleeping in your quarters?" the Gryffindor asked, looking mildly annoyed.

Knowing the extent of information available to the office of the head of the school since he himself had held the post, Snape knew that there was no point in lying.

"Miss Granger has spent the night in my sitting room on three occasions," he began, knowing that the Headmistress already knew as much. "The first night was the night of 10 December. We were working late and Miss Granger fell asleep on the sofa afterwards and I didn't see any reason to wake her," he explained, modifying the truth slightly. "The second night was the last day of the holidays, six days ago. This time, we were in my sitting room, conversing, when Miss Granger expressed her fatigue and asked if she could sleep on the sofa, as she felt too tired to return to her quarters. I obliged. The third time was, as you know, last night. Last night, the Gryffindor actually fell asleep mid conversation," he finished, still looking and sounding very bored, when in fact, he was anything but.

"Naturally I believe you, Severus, but the fact remains that it is entirely inappropriate for a student to spend the night in the quarters of a member of the faculty. That, and I worry that you are working the girl too hard," she said in an admonishing voice.

"Miss Granger and I created the schedule in agreement," Snape objected. "If she felt that it is too much, I am certain that she would tell me. As to your opinion on her spending the night in my quarters, I understand your viewpoint but rest assured that nothing inappropriate has taken place."

"I know, Severus. Out of all of us, your morals are probably the highest in terms of the students," she said with a smile. "However, I would appreciate it if you simply woke her up and sent her back to her own quarters the next time she fell asleep in your rooms."

"If you say so," he said stiffly, feeling slightly offended that she felt the need to tell him that to his face. It was not as if he would ever do anything inappropriate with a student. Yes, he did consider Hermione to be a friend, but nothing more, definitely not. She was half his age and in a very vulnerable position on top of that.

They spent another five minutes discussing other, in Snape's opinion irrelevant, matters before he was able to make his excuses.

* * *

><p>Hermione entered his rooms before noon, looking slightly red-faced. It was obvious that she'd been for a run. He remembered her telling him how her face always turned blood red after just five minutes of running. If she ran for longer than half an hour, it usually took a while before the colour of her face was back to normal. It was beyond him how she could bear running in the freezing cold; it was way too cold for his taste at this time of the year. January was always the coldest month at Hogwarts. He nodded at her and gestured for her to follow him into his laboratory.<p>

"Minerva called me to her office today," he stated as she walked past him into the next room. "Unsurprisingly, she has been keeping tabs on the nights you have spent here and she wishes for them to stop," he explained and watched her face carefully for her reaction. Not that he had to really, she hardly ever bothered to hide her emotions around him anymore, something he was very grateful for. He hoped he would one day be able to do the same.

"That's annoying," Hermione said quietly. "I am… well, I am comfortable here," she began but trailed off.

"Hermione, she didn't say that you have to spend less time here, only that you can't spend the night. Frankly, I agree with her," he said honestly and looked into her surprised eyes. "Whilst we may not share a relationship similar to the usual one between a teacher and a student, the fact remains, you are my student. Both you and I know that nothing more is going on but it may not look that way to an outsider," he explained, wondering why she seemed to look almost disappointed when she heard his last sentence.

"I know," she agreed softly and opened her notebook, making it clear that the conversation was over.

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><p><strong>Hermione's POV<strong>

Hermione lay awake for a long time that night. She kept replaying the conversation she had had with Snape before they began working the same afternoon. There was no new information really, but there had been something in his voice that had made her feel as the idea of the two of them being involved romantically was ridiculous. Though it shouldn't have surprised her, it did. Since she had come to terms with her feelings for the man, she had been surprised to discover that they were far deeper than she had first suspected. She supposed it wasn't that strange really, the two of them had become good friends in a short period of time. Their friendship was one of the things she valued most highly in her life at the moment and she was not willing to risk it for anything. That was when she decided that she would hide her feelings at all costs. _He must never know_, she thought sadly. It was well past 3 a.m. when sleep finally caught up with her.


	19. Chapter 18

**Here's the next chapter. If you like listening to something when reading, I strongly recommend Veronica Maggio's song "Snalla bli min", you can find it on youtube. For those of you (swedes only I believe) who understand the lyrics, try to ignore them, it's mainly the music and her voice I like for this chapter. **

**Andrea xx**

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><p><strong>Hermione's POV<strong>

Wednesday night, three weeks later, found Hermione and Snape in his laboratory, discussing their next step. They had just decided that they would try another type of legilimency again and Hermione had just realised, to her great fear, that Snape might see her feelings for him were he to enter her mind again. Knowing that was not an option, she told him that there was another memory she wanted to place in the pensieve.

"Why?" he asked simply, looking at her curiously.

"It is something I forgot to place there last time, please, it would just take a moment," she replied quickly, hoping he would approve her request.

"Are you keeping something from me?" he asked seriously and raised an eyebrow.

"No, nothing new. It's just something to do with this guy I dated last summer," she lied. She knew it was a bad lie but it was the only one she had been able to come up with. Knowing that he wasn't going to believe it, she began to panic.

"Hermione, you know I won't look at your private memories," he said suspiciously.

"I do, it's just… Please," she pleaded and avoided his eyes.

"If you feel the need to distance yourself from me, you need only say so," he said hotly.

"No, that's not it," she protested, without finding an excuse.

"Apparently I have valued our friendship too highly," he said darkly.

"No, you didn't, this doesn't have anything to do with that," she exclaimed.

"Then why don't you trust me anymore?" he hissed.

"I do, it really doesn't have anything to do with whether I trust you or not, please believe me!"

"How can I believe you when it is obvious that you are keeping something from me?"

"Severus, I trust you, but this is not something that you want to know, believe me," she said, her voice growing weaker by the minute.

"Don't presume to know what I feel or want," he said darkly. "You will tell me what has changed this instant or I will discontinue our project," he warned and forced her to meet his eyes.

Hermione looked at him despondently and opened and closed her mouth several times but the words refused to leave her mouth.

"Well, obviously I have put a lot more faith into our friendship than you. If you don't want me as a friend that's fine, but I fear we have gone to far to return to a professional relationship," Snape said without bothering to mask his hurt feelings.

"That's it, I don't want to be just friends!" Hermione exclaimed and covered her mouth with her hand at the realisation of what she had said. She realised it was too late to take it back and so decided to explain. "I wanted to put my knowledge of those feelings in the pensieve," she said quietly and looked down at the floor.

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><p><strong>Snape's POV<strong>

Snape's eyes softened the moment he absorbed the meaning of her words. As he realised that the problem wasn't that she didn't like him as a friend anymore, his stiff posture relaxed slightly. _So that's why_, he mused. Despite the two of them sharing a close friendship, he had never entertained the idea of them being romantically involved. As he looked at her in that light for the very first time, he realised what had been right in front of him all along. Yes, he could definitely see himself returning her feelings. However, knowing her the way he did and feeling the way he did about her, he also knew that he could not give her what she deserved. She deserved someone younger, someone happier, someone who wasn't as burdened by old memories as he was. He sighed inwardly, resenting the answer he had to give her. He walked up to her and touched her elbow gently, leading her to the sofa.

"Sit down," he urged her gently and seated himself in his favourite chair. He watched her sit down and stare at the floor, refusing to meet his eyes. "Hermione, look at me. Please," he asked gently and watched her raise her face slowly until she met his eyes. He was quiet for a few moments, contemplating his words. "I don't know how to say this," he began, fidgeting uncharacteristically with one of his buttons.

"You don't have to say anything, please just forget what I said and we can go back to what… what we were," she said, her voice shaking slightly as she pulled up her legs underneath her.

"I do have to say something, Hermione, and it is something that I want, need, to say," he began slowly. "I ask you not to interrupt me, please," he said and watched her nod at him to continue. "I am your teacher, Hermione, and that is something I take very seriously. If I were to enter a relationship with someone, I want that person and I to be equals, in every way. That is why I would never get involved with a student. Yes, I am aware that you are graduating soon and that I will no longer be your professor after that," he paused and watched her nod in agreement. "But I am afraid that you will still be a student in my eyes," he lied and watched her avert her eyes. He knew that he was causing her pain and it was almost unbearable to watch. "Even if I did harbour some feelings of that nature for you, I would never act on them. Hermione, I am not going to belittle your feelings by saying that they only are a phase and I know as well as you do that the age difference between us is not a problem in the wizarding world. However, for me, the big problem is that you are, and always will be, a student of mine and that I don't think I am capable of giving myself to someone completely, not in the way you deserve," he finished with pain in his voice. He hated having to tell her this when what he wanted to do the most was to take all her pain away.

Snape watched her take in what he had said. After he had finished, there was a sad look on her face. She seemed to compose herself for a few moments before she stood up and walked over to him.

"I know, and that is why I didn't want you to know. However, I hope you understand that I can't keep working with you," she said slowly as her eyes teared up. "I think it might be time for me to stop with the glamour anyway."

Seeing her cry because of him broke his heart. Snape never thought watching another person hurt could hurt so much. He didn't think he had ever been in this much pain._ It is for her own good_, he reminded himself.

"Thank you for everything you have done for me, you don't know how much you have helped me," she said softly and cupped his cheek with one hand. "And I want you to know that I think you're more than capable of giving yourself to someone completely, you just need to let yourself."

Snape brought a hand to his face and placed it over hers. He closed his eyes for a few seconds and opened them when he felt her remove her hand.

"Once again, thank you," she whispered sadly and gave him a small smile before she left his room.

When Snape heard the door slam shut, he couldn't help himself any longer. Tears welled up in his eyes and came trickling down his cheeks. He buried his face in his hands and wept.

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><p><strong>Please review :)<strong>


	20. Chapter 19

**Thank you all for your reviews, I have never got this many reviews for one chapter in this story before, so thank you! I was happy to read that so many of you were affected by the last chapter, I wanted it to be very serious and very sad but was unsure of whether or not I succeeded. Also, rest assured that I will let you know when I finish the story, so don't worry about not knowing when the end is. Frankly, I have no idea how many chapters are left, there is no plan for this story, I generally make it up as I write, and sometimes the story moves very quickly, other times rather slowly. However, I will do my best to give it a proper end.**

**Amr:** I respect your opinion but I felt that it was too unlikely that the two of them would just spend more and more time together and then just end up together, after no obstacles at all. Snape not wanting to act on his feelings make sense to me. As for your comment on Snape being aware that he doesn't think about her as a student, but still says he does, I thought I made it obvious by pointing out quite clearly that he lies as he tells her that. I appreciate your comment on how to divide the POVs and I think you have a point there, however, for the sake of continuity, I'm going to keep it that way for now, but if I ever do edit this story at some point I might change it.

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><p><strong>Hermione's POV<strong>

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><p>Hermione had always expected that the reactions she would experience when people first saw her scars would be hard to deal with. What she hadn't expected was how few in number the reactions had been. The only people who really made a fuss about it were Ginny and the faculty, all of which were fooled by her story of accidentally causing a cauldron to fall over, spilling a dangerous potion all over her. The scars were left over and probably unable to heal. <em>As if I would ever tip over a cauldron<em>, Hermione scoffed. _People were so stupid sometimes._ Madame Pomfrey called her into the infirmary right after breakfast of the first day she had gone without her glamour. She was furious to say the least. Not only because she had been lied to but also because she was well aware of the risks of wearing a glamour charm for so long. Hermione apologized at length and after a long one-sided conversation, the healer eventually forgave her and embraced her in a hug which Hermione returned, if a bit stiffly.

The Headmistress had called her to her office right after she and Snape had quit their work, questioning the reason for the sudden abruption. She had told the older woman that she felt that the project was taking up too much of her time, time that she would prefer to spend on revision for her NEWTs. Luckily, the Headmistress had bought her excuse. With the help of the Headmistress, she had sent in applications to study a joint degree of Potions and Transfigurations at three different magical universities, one in England, one in Germany and one in France. Whilst she didn't feel completely happy about going to university, it was something to do as well as something she knew she was good at.

When a few weeks had passed and people realised that the scars weren't disappearing, the other students would sometimes give her looks of pity that she did her best to shake off. Ginny had been a rock through all this, still teasing Hermione about her looks, especially her unruly hair, the way she always had. Spending time with Ginny made her feel almost normal. Whilst she couldn't bear spending hours with the young redhead, as they didn't really have that much to talk about anymore, she cherished the knowledge that Ginny was there for her if she needed her.

Despite the lack of reactions to her scar, the first few weeks after she had stopped working with Snape had been more difficult than Hermione had thought they were going to be. Ever since the war ended she had felt lost and Snape had helped her with those feelings. Whenever she was around him, everything made a little more sense and her future felt a little brighter. Now more than five weeks had passed since their final encounter and Hermione barely saw the man. She rarely, if ever, skipped any meals in the Great Hall, thinking he would see it as an act of a petulant child if she did, but she didn't even see him there as he was barely attended meals anymore. Most days he was only there for lunchtime, and sometimes not even for that. Needless to say, they did not see each other very often. Potions lessons were thankfully not as hard as she had dreaded they would be. Snape was in his teaching persona then, a character that bore only little resemblance to her friend Severus. That, in combination with the fact that Hermione had made an effort to suppress her emotions, made his lessons bearable.

Hermione had resorted to drinking alone more nights than not, going to Hogsmeade every now and then to restock her supply. Some nights she would have just one glass, some nights a whole bottle. Control was something she valued highly so she made sure she was up to date with all her schoolwork before opening a bottle and she never drank so much that she couldn't wake up early the morning after. She knew she was drinking too much and too often but since it didn't affect any parts of her life in a negative way and made her feel slightly better about herself, she figured the habit was all right as long as it stayed that way. It was not as if she ever drank so much that she passed out after all.

Despite her will, she thought of Snape more often than not. She had noticed that he hadn't looked well for the past couple of weeks, getting skinnier every day, which was unsurprising seeing as he often skipped meals. Sometimes he had dark circles under his eyes and she wondered if they were caused by lack of sleep or because he had been working late. She hoped it was the latter. When she watched his health deteriorate, she often felt an urge to drag him down to his sitting room, feed him a large meal and force him to sit and relax for hours, if not days. God knows he looked as if he needed it. She sometimes caught him looking at her during class or in the Great Hall and when he did, he always had a sad look about him. Seeing him look sad made her feel almost bitter, he was the one who had sent her away, after all. _But if you hadn't had feelings for him, you could have still been friends, that's probably why he's sad, he doesn't have many friends after all, _a voice in her head told her.

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><p>The beginning of March and along with it the beginning of spring had finally come and the days were getting longer and warmer, to everyone's joy. It was a Saturday, the 20 March, and Hermione was one of the few students in the Great Hall, having breakfast at 7 a.m. The Gryffindor table was completely empty apart from her but she didn't mind, preferring to read her paper in silence. As she had entered the room, she had glanced up at the Head Table out of habit, only to find that Snape was not there. She ate a piece of toast and had a cup of coffee. The enchanted ceiling showed that it was going to be a beautiful day, the sun was already shining. She finished her coffee and set off in the direction of the Entrance Hall.<p>

Hermione pushed open the heavy entrance doors and breathed in a sharp intake of the fresh spring air as she stepped outside. She decided to go down to the lake. The birds were up and busy chirping in an annoyingly cheery tone. Hermione tried to ignore them and quickly made her way down to the lake. As she reached the edge of the lake, she noticed a person sitting on a stone on her left hand side. The person must have heard her arrive because he turned and looked in her direction. It was Snape. _Just my luck_, Hermione thought and turned around to make her way back to the castle. She was interrupted by his voice.

"Hermione," he called softly and gestured towards a stone next to the one he was sitting on.

She hesitated for a moment before she approached him warily and sat down on the stone he had pointed at.

"Good morning," he greeted her and the corners of his lips moved slightly upwards into what could be seen as a resemblance of a small smile.

"Hi," she replied, taking in his appearance. He looked even worse close-up. There were dark circles under his eyes and there was a gaunt look to his face. His usual layers of clothes covered up the rest of his body so she couldn't really tell, but she presumed that the rest of his body was skinnier as well.

"How are you?" he asked sincerely and tried to catch her eyes but they were focused on the lake.

"I'm okay," she replied with a shrug and turned towards him. "Severus, you need start taking care of yourself," she began and watched him open his mouth to protest but she put up her hand to silence him. "No, you _will _listen to what I have to say," she muttered. "I don't know what it is that is keeping you up and it is none of my business but it has to stop. You look awful," she said dryly. "There's still almost half a term left and you're going to crash soon if you don't stop this. No more skipping meals," she said and fixed him with an intense stare. "I'm going to watch you, Severus, and if you don't start taking care of yourself I am going to have a chat with the Headmistress."

Snape had opened his eyes wide open in shock at the beginning of her admonishment only to narrow them a few moments later, most likely in annoyance at her words.

"You have no right to…" he began to protest but she interrupted him.

"Oh, but I do. No one else is going to tell you to get a grip so I will. Just sort yourself out, Severus, for your own sake." She stood up and made to leave as his hand stopped her.

When he realised he had her attention, he dropped his hand. It seemed as if there was something he wanted to say but that he was unable to. Instead he looked into her eyes and bowed his head slightly as if to say 'you are right'. She returned his nod and began the walk to the castle.

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><p><strong>Snape's POV<strong>

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><p>Snape found himself going over the last few weeks later that day. He was in the solitude of his quarters contemplating his situation. He was well aware that he had been neglecting himself for the past couple of weeks. The problem was, he couldn't find it in himself to care about it. He had continued on their research and was nearing a solution, hence spending almost every waking moment on it. Due to the two of them having previously taken magical blueprints of the scarred area on Hermione's face, he was able to continue their research without her. He had been able to identify the magical pattern of the scarred area on her skin, having found a way to magnify the results of their previous alteration of the spell showing magical levels. He had been shocked to find that the magical pattern actually consisted of runes. After that it had taken him some time to decipher the runes, it was a very complex pattern consisting of more than 1500 different runes. There was still some he had been unable to identify but he still had some more old books to go through so he was hopeful that he would find the remaining runes. After that came the task of matching the runes with the right ingredients. Some of which would be very easy, others more difficult. Presuming he was able to identify all the runes, he was confident he would succeed in creating the potion.<p>

Ever since Hermione had left their research, she had occupied his mind constantly. The loss he had experienced at not having her as his friend anymore had hit him harder than he had thought it would. From the moment he had realised that he could view her in a romantic light, it had become more than obvious to him that he had feelings for her. It really was odd that he hadn't noticed her in that sense before. He tried to avoid watching her when he was in public areas but found that his eyes sought out hers unintentionally. Whenever he saw her smile or laugh, or tuck a stray lock of her hair behind her ear in Potions or wear a colourful blouse on the weekend, he longed to touch her.

While he became more and more convinced of his feelings for her, he was still painfully aware that he was not the right man for her, in his opinion at least. He was looking forward to the end of term more than he usually did as that meant that he wouldn't have to see her anymore. Despite himself, he hoped that she would find someone so that he would be able to see her happy. Merlin knew she deserved to be happy. So, as he refused to act on his feelings, he realised that the only thing he could do to make her happy was to succeed in creating their scar-removal potion. Therefore, he spent every waking moment on the research, hoping to succeed before the end of term. For the first time in his life, his sense of purpose and motivation behind his research was stronger than anything else in his life. It was no wonder that his health was suffering.

It had been comforting seeing her this morning. They had barely exchanged more than three words over the last few weeks and he missed hearing her voice. While she wasn't exactly glowing with health, she had looked all right. Physically, she had looked fine. However, her body was tense and her eyes had looked cold, almost as if she was emotionally detached. Not that he was one to criticize her for those things, as he himself looked like that most of the time. It did worry him slightly, though. When she had told him off, he had been more than a little surprised. At first he had been insulted and slightly annoyed but after a moment he had realised that she was right. He needed to get a grip on himself. He decided he would stop skipping meals, if only so that she wouldn't have to spend energy on worrying about his health.

Snape suppressed a yawn and made his way back to his laboratory. He stayed up working until three in the morning, but contrary to his habits over the last couple of weeks, he attended breakfast a few hours later.

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><p><strong>Please review, it's always interesting to read your thoughts.<strong> The part about Hermione having a small problem with alcohol is actually drawn from my own experiences. Whilst I realise that it doesn't make sense for some people (when I went to a psychiatrist to talk about it I had to fill in a form about how alcohol affected my life negatively and I didn't tick in any of the negative boxes, despite drinking heavily 5/6 days a week at that point, needless to say it took me a while to explain my problem) I do think that's one outlet Hermione would use as it is something that's possible to keep secret (she's too sensible to skip meals, fail school, take drugs etc.). Rest assured this story isn't going to be about alcoholism, but I do think she needs a way to deal with the pain, it can be quite suffocating being "perfect" or "good" in all other aspects of one's life, at least in my opinion.


	21. Chapter 20

**Hey,**

**Sorry for the lack of updates, was abroad twice in the last couple of weeks and had an exam in between. Began this chapter two weeks ago before I had even started thinking about Easter and it was only as I finished it today I realised the coincidence in timing, really wasn't intentional. Same when Hermione went to Berlin – I was there end of January. Anyway, enough rambling, here is the next chapter, let me know what you think. **

**Andrea xx**

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><p><strong>Hermione's POV<strong>

Two weeks had passed since their encounter by the lake and Hermione had been pleased to find Snape attending almost every single meal in the Great Hall since then. Whilst he still had dark circles under his eyes and still looked as tense as ever, he looked somewhat healthier.

Easter had arrived and the school had a week of holidays. Hermione was the only student to remain at school. Over the last couple of days she had come to realise that she wasn't willing to give up on the friendship she had shared with Snape as easily as she had done at first. In fact, the more time she spent thinking about it, the more annoyed she was at herself. She decided that it was about time that she told Snape how she saw things. Whilst she was well aware of the fact that she might worsen the situation, she felt very strongly that she owed it to herself. There were so few things in her life that she was happy about and her friendship with Snape had been one of them. The Easter holiday had therefore come at a very good time.

And so it came to be that Hermione found herself on her way down to Snape's quarters on the evening of Easter Sunday. There had been a lavish dinner in the Great Hall but Hermione had found she couldn't eat very much due to how nervous she was about seeing Snape later on. She hesitated outside his office, not knowing whether or not she should knock or just walk straight in. After a moment's contemplation she decided that she would knock.

"Enter," his deep voice called.

Hermione opened the door to his office and walked in only to find it empty. She walked straight through the room and entered Snape's private quarters.

Snape was standing in the middle of the room as she entered, looking at her curiously.

"Good evening," he greeted her civilly and gestured towards the sofa.

It was the first time Hermione was back in his quarters after they had ceased their work and she felt quite uncomfortable, unsure as to whether she was welcome or not.

"Hello," she replied softly and took a seat on the sofa.

"What are you doing here?" he asked her quietly, skilfully masking his reaction to her being there.

Hermione took a moment to gather her thoughts and then opened her mouth to begin the little speech she had prepared.

"I never got around to telling you how I feel. I know it's my fault for leaving immediately after you expressed your opinion, but there are some things I feel I need to get off my chest if you're willing to listen," she began and looked at him for his approval.

He beckoned for her to continue.

"There are very few things in my life that I am happy about and even fewer that I treasure. Our friendship was, is, one of those things." She paused and waited for the words to sink in. "I never expected to develop feelings for you. Having feelings for a teacher is definitely not something I desire. When I realised how I felt I decided I would do my best at hiding those feelings from you because I was afraid of ruining our friendship, a friendship that had come to mean a lot to me. Then you found out by accident and I was mortified, thinking you would look at me as some silly little schoolgirl with a silly crush on a teacher. Yes, you are my teacher and I am your student but that wasn't what attracted me," she said, feeling uncertain as how to continue. "I know that you don't feel the same about me and I respect that, but I was wondering if we could still be friends. I promise not to act on my feelings and I don't expect anything other than friendship. I really miss having you as a friend, Severus," she continued softly and looked into his eyes, uncertainly.

Snape replied to her words by giving her one of his rare smiles.

"Hermione, you were the one who left, I didn't send you away. As you know, I have very few friends and I consider myself lucky to be able to consider you one of them," he said, his dark eyes glittering.

Hermione beamed at him and gave him a sparkling smile. She looked as if the weight of the world had just been lifted off her shoulders. It took all her willpower not to embrace him in a hug.

"May I ask why you haven't come down here before?" he inquired.

"I'm not sure, to be honest. At first I was ashamed of having ruined our friendship. And I was worried about you thinking that I was acting on my feelings if I continued to spend time with you. Now, I… I've realised that I trust myself not to act on my feelings and I hope that you can trust me on that," she paused nervously and searched his eyes for approval. When she received a small nod, she continued: "Afterwards, I didn't really know how to salvage things. And then, about a week ago, I realised that I missed your friendship too much. I haven't been feeling great these past two months, Severus," she said quietly and looked down.

Snape remained quiet, knowing she would tell him about it if she wanted to.

"As I'm sure you still are, there are things I'm still going through. And since we haven't been speaking I haven't been able to talk to anyone. At least no one who understands me." She looked at him kindly, if slightly shy. Since she had just told him that she wouldn't ask for more than friendship, she wasn't sure how private their conversations could be. She rubbed her neck absentmindedly, trying to ease some of the tension.

Snape frowned at the way she held herself and touched her neck. Then he seemed to make up his mind and stood up and walked until he was standing right behind her. He placed his hands gently on her neck.

"May I?" he asked, keeping his hands still.

"Please," Hermione replied curiously and felt him move her hair so that her neck and back were free. She realised that this was his way of showing her that they could go back to their old friendship without her having to worry about him thinking that she was flirting with him if she touched him. It was very rare that Snape initiated physical contact between them and the fact that he did so now, when he knew that she had feelings for him, hence showing her that he trusted her enough to be able to remain on friendly terms, meant the world to Hermione.

His touch was soft and gentle as he tried to find the sore places. When he did, he would apply a bit more strength, sometimes causing her pain as he loosened the knots in her back. On these occasions, she had to bite her lip to keep from moaning.

"What on earth have you done to your back?" he asked in a voice free from judgement.

"I have been studying more than usual and I… I suppose I've been a bit uncomfortable lately, what with everyone seeing the scars and all," she replied and closed her eyes, determined to enjoy the massage as much as possible.

"How have the reactions been?" Snape asked, sounding uncharacteristically tentative.

"Not as strong as I'd expected to be honest, most people don't care. Some of the other students pity me but I suppose that's to be expected," she replied with a small sigh.

"It will get better with time," he said.

"I hope so. Is there any chance you would be willing to continue our research?" she asked hopefully.

"Hermione, whilst I am glad that we are on friendly terms again I'm not sure it would be wise for us to spend as much time together as we used to," he replied. After a moment he realised what it sounded like and was quick to explain what he meant. "It's not that I don't trust you, you know that, it's more to do with what it looks like to people on the outside, and Minerva in particular. She knows that we stopped working on it and believes the reason is that we need a certain ingredient that can only be collected during the summer months, hence putting our project on hiatus. If we suddenly began spending as much time together again I am sure that she would think something was up," he said in a regretful voice.

"You're right," she mused loudly. "This feels so good, you know, my back has been awful lately. I've taken the maximum dose of pain relief potions on more than just a few days," she admitted.

Snape remained silent and rubbed a particularly sore spot on her right shoulder blade.

"Are you all right? I can tell that you're not sleeping, though you seem to be eating more," she asked thoughtfully.

"I am. I have been working late and then sometimes I find it hard to go to sleep. But it is nothing that you ought to be concerned about, the holidays are approaching, after all," he said with a shrug that Hermione was unable to see due to him standing behind her.

"If you say so."

"I do," he persisted and rested his hands on her shoulders for a moment. One of his thumbs grazed the side of her neck briefly, sending shivers down her spine, before he removed his hands.

"Wine?" he asked.

"Thanks but no thanks. I have been drinking a bit too much lately," she said and avoided his eyes.

Snape helped himself to a glass of wine and sat down on his chair, before he turned to look at her with a frown on his face.

"How often is 'too much'?" he asked curiously and took a sip of his wine.

"Not that often really, a glass here and there," Hermione replied evasively and focused her eyes on a spot on the wall next to Snape's face.

"Hermione, I'm not questioning your drinking habits. You are of age and I trust you to be able to drink responsively. However, you mentioned that you have been taking the maximum dose of pain relief potions on more than one occasion. When you have had to take more than one potion due to the pain not disappearing, has the pain been relieved by additional doses?" he asked and fixed her eyes with his stare.

Hermione was quiet for a moment and thought about what he had just said. She couldn't believe that she had been so stupid and forgotten that alcohol nullifies the effects of basic pain relief potions.

"I can't believe I forgot about that. The nights when I've taken numerous doses of the potion are the same nights as when I've had alcohol to drink. No wonder the potion didn't work, I'm such an idiot," she berated herself.

"Though, I think you should know if you do not already, basic pain relief potions are only rendered worthless by large amounts of alcohol, usually about three to four glasses of wine at least," he said seriously and waited for the words to sink in. "May I ask how often you drink by yourself?" he asked softly, making an effort not to pose the question in an interrogatory way.

Hermione was unsure how to answer his question. She wanted to be honest with him but she also knew that there was a risk of him misinterpreting her situation. After a few moments of deliberation, she decided to tell him the truth.  
>"About five times a week since we stopped working together. I used to have a glass by myself maybe once a week before that. And don't you dare blame yourself for it," she warned when she took in his dissatisfied expression.<p>

"Why the increase?" he asked seriously.

Hermione had been ignoring that question for the last seven weeks but as she found herself looking at it for the first time she realised that the answer wasn't what she had expected.

"I've been feeling a bit lonely and bored, alcohol makes me feel… well, happier I suppose," she replied quietly, not liking the way the words came out.

Snape remained silent for a few moments and finished his wine.

"Hermione, whenever you feel the urge to drink because of those reasons or because you are not feeling well, would you mind coming to me first?"

"I'm not your burden to bear," she protested but he cut her off.

"Please?" he asked in a voice so quiet she wasn't sure he had actually said anything.

"Okay, I will come to you first," she agreed, somewhat reluctantly. Whilst she knew that she was drinking too much she wasn't quite ready to see it as a problem that needed to be dealt with.

"Perhaps it would be a good idea for you to keep a diary of your drinking habits as well," Snape suggested. "Only for yourself, you don't need to show it to me or anyone else," he added when he noticed her brow furrow.

"Fine."

"Thank you," Snape replied ironically and raised an eyebrow.

"Thank you," she repeated in the same tone and smirked slightly. "It's good to be back here," she said quietly and pulled up her legs underneath her.

Snape gave her a small smile before he asked her opinion on an article in the latest issue of _Mortar and Pestle International._

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><p><strong>AN: Before you point it out, I haven't forgotten that Snape is working on the project alone. However, [I believe that] he doesn't want to get Hermione's hopes up by telling her about the breakthrough, in case it doesn't work out, and so he keeps quiet about it. Oh, and I'm sorry about the lack of Easter eggs, I simply could not be bothered to write about Hermione receiving some as it doesn't have an impact on the plot in this case. Oh, and reviews make me very, very happy!**


	22. Chapter 21

**Huge thanks to all of you for your reviews – cannot believe that this fiction now has more than 200 reviews – thank you! I've kind of figured how I want this story to move forward and think I will take a bit of a time leap in the next chapter to make it turn out the way I want it to. (I****f I wrote about every single day from April to June, I'm afraid they would probably be having sex a week from this chapter, which isn't really how I think this story should end.)**

**Andrea xx**

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><p><strong>Omgitskirby: <strong>Thank you. Yes, I get your point, thanks for pointing it out. The thing I've been most focused on is not rushing their relationship but since I have now written about 80 pages in Word without so much as a kiss I suppose I can relax a bit lol.

**Madame Royale: **Thank you. Yes, I agree that that scene is a bit uncharacteristic for both of them, my excuse is that they've both changed a lot during the war, especially Hermione (hence her having the guts to slap a teacher).

**Aschmieman:** Thanks for reviewing – will try to update more often!

**HyuugaAE: **Thank you. You might be right that Snape has been a bit out of character lately. I try my best to make him stay in character but it's difficult. That said, I will try even harder to make him stay in character from now on – though I'm afraid I didn't quite manage to in this chapter.

**Angel N Darkness:** Thank you so much for reviewing every single chapter – appreciate it!

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><p><strong>Snape's POV<strong>

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><p>When Snape woke up on the morning of Easter Monday, he felt more content than he had felt in weeks. Since he and Hermione had ceased working together, watching her hurt had been more than a little painful. He could tell that she had made an effort to stay healthy and admired her for that. After all, she was nothing if not mature. Whenever he could do so undiscovered, he watched her from afar, silently admiring the graceful way in which she carried herself. Not that her walk or anything about the way she moved was particularly graceful, that kind of grace had never been her strong suit. However, the way she kept her head held high even though people were staring at her scars and the way she silently ignored all the nasty and pitiful comments some of the more stupid students whispered about her behind her back, was more than a little graceful in Snape's opinion. Usually, her face seemed to be void of any emotion, something Snape himself appreciated, as that was how he carried himself. Though, in the last two-three weeks her face had gone from emotionally detached to cold. Yes, he would sometimes see her lips forming into a smile at something the Weasley girl or another student said but the smiles never lasted long and did not look convincing, not to him. Hermione's back was completely straight, more often than not. In fact, it was so straight that her posture sometimes seemed to be bordering on discomfort. Her posture was good, but stiff. To an outsider, Hermione probably looked perfectly healthy but since he knew her better than most, perhaps better than everyone else, the small signs of her discomfort screamed at Snape whenever he saw her.<p>

Snape had been surprised when his wards had alerted him of Hermione's presence outside his office the night before. It seemed odd to him that she had chosen to come down to his quarters after so long, but he was grateful that she had. After hearing her explain her reasons for returning, he felt he understood her situation more clearly. After all, he was happy to have his friend back. However, he felt slightly unsure as to how he should behave around her. He definitely did not want to make her think that he held romantic feelings for her, even though he did, but at the same time he wanted to reassure her that some measure of physical contact between them was fine, so that she wouldn't feel that she had to walk on egg shells around him. Hence he had given her the massage. It was the first time he had ever touched someone with the sole purpose of bringing them pleasure and he had relished the experience, silently enjoying the quiet moans of pleasure that escaped her lips.

Her drinking habits had surprised him slightly. He trusted her to be able to drink responsibly but he had seen first hand, in the shape of his own father, how alcohol could change people for the worse and so he decided to interfere. The fact that she had been drinking more and more since they stopped spending time together made him feel more than a little guilty, despite her saying that he shouldn't blame himself. How could he not? He only hoped that she would let him be there for her now that they were on friendly terms again.

Snape did not have to wait long. On Monday night, around 10 p.m., Hermione entered his quarters; looking unsure of herself in the same way she had the previous night. He put down the paper he had been about to grade and looked at her. She was standing by the door, not knowing what to do.

"You said…" she began but he cut her off.

"Would you like to accompany me on a walk?" he asked and stood up.

"Yes," she replied, sounding relieved.

"Did you bring your cloak?"

"No."

"Here's one of mine," he offered and handed her a black outdoor cloak. As was to be expected, it was too long for her and he shrank it with a flick of his wand. He put on another cloak and moved to the door.

"Thanks," she said and exited his quarters in front of him.

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><p><strong>Hermione's POV<strong>

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><p>They walked through the empty corridors in silence. Hermione opened the main doors and let Snape exit in front of her. It was chilly outside, as it was only the first week of April and quite late in the evening. Hermione pulled her cloak tighter around herself and hid her hands in the warm, deep, pockets. They set off in the direction of the lake and walked side by side in comfortable silence.<p>

Hermione was the first to break the silence and only did so after they had reached the lake and sat down on a large stone on the shoreline.

"Thank you for taking time to help me," Hermione said softly, her eyes focused on the darkness of the lake. It was almost pitch-black, with just the faintest hint of dark blue where the moon was reflected in the water.

"I told you I would, didn't I?" Snape almost muttered.

"Severus, you know a simple 'you're welcome' would have sufficed?" Hermione said as she turned to look at him with an amused expression on her face. Then her expression turned serious. "Why is it still so hard for you to believe that you are a good person who does good things?"

Snape ignored her questioning eyes and was silent. It was obvious that the question was uncomfortable for him. Hermione decided to wait him out, knowing that he would have to address her question sooner or later.

They sat in silence for more than a quarter of an hour before Snape opened his mouth.

"If I believe that I am a good person, I would have to accept all the bad things that I have done and somehow come to terms with them," he said in a raspy voice. "I can't do that. I don't deserve to," he concluded. "Being here at Hogwarts makes it worse so I have decided to leave the school after this term," he continued thoughtfully.

"I understand your viewpoint, Severus, but you're wrong. And I'm going to do all that I can to make you see yourself the way I do, even if it takes me the rest of my life" Hermione said, determined. She leaned her head on his shoulder and felt him stiffen the way he usually did at first. _At least he doesn't flinch as badly anymore_, she mused. After a moment or two she felt his arm come up behind her back and he caressed the scar on her right cheek gently and then rested his hand gently around her waist.

Hermione was in heaven. She had never been in a serious relationship with anyone but the feeling of Snape's arm around her waist felt almost exactly like what she had imagined being in a relationship with someone would feel like. Only better. She quietly wondered why he was acting like this when it was obvious that he did not want to be more than friends. After all, it was not as if she could picture him sitting like this with anyone else. She decided to enjoy it as much as she possibly could.

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><p><strong>Snape's POV<strong>

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><p>Snape cherished the feeling of having Hermione sit next to him. He loved that her waist was soft and not too skinny, and that he could feel the slowing rise and fall of her chest as she relaxed more and more. It took all his self-control not to move his hand up slightly to feel the curve of her breasts. He shook his head inwardly at his thoughts – he really needed to get a grip on himself. After all, he had told her that he did not hold any kind of romantic feelings for her, yet there he was, sitting next to her on a stone by the lake, in the middle of the night, with an arm around her waist. If their friendship was going to continue to develop at the same pace as it had until now, he was going to have to exercise more self control than he ever had before. If not because he thought that he didn't deserve her, then at least because she was his student until the end of the term. He tried to berate himself for putting himself in a position like this but found he could not summon the energy, probably because he enjoyed the current situation too much. He decided it was about time that they returned to the castle and poked her softly in her waist.<p>

"We better return to the castle," he said and lifted his arm.

"I know. It's a shame though, the lake is so beautiful at this time of the night," Hermione replied dreamily without removing her head from his shoulder.

"Indeed." He cupped the back of her head gently and lifted it from his shoulder before standing up and offering her his hand.

She took his hand and rose. Without looking at him, she hooked her left arm through his right arm. He could not for the world fathom why she kept seeking out physical contact between them but was happy to indulge her. If it made her happy, then he was more than happy to oblige.

"Too tired to walk on your own?" he asked with a mock sneer on his lips, knowing that she would see it for what it was – fake.

"Yes," Hermione replied with a smile and made a point out of it by taking a tighter hold of his arm.

When they entered the castle, Hermione made to release her arm from his but he kept it there and began walking in the direction of her quarters. He could tell that she bit her bottom lip to keep from smiling. It was a trait of hers that he enjoyed very much. As they reached the door to her rooms, he dropped her arm gently. To his surprise, she initiated physical contact once more by embracing him in a hug. Whilst they had hugged before, it had never been this long. He felt her arms touch his back and shoulders softly and hold his body in a tight grip.

Snape knew that their current position was far from appropriate but he could not bring himself to push her away. Instead, he whispered a wandless disillusionment charm to keep them from being seen, were anyone to walk by. He placed one of his hands on the small of her back and the other one around her shoulders and pulled her tightly to his chest.

He had no idea how long they stood like that; he was too focused on deriving as much pleasure as possible from it. After what seemed like a minute, but was probably more than ten minutes, he gently dropped his arms and felt her do the same.

"Thank you for tonight," Hermione whispered and squeezed one of his hands softly.

Snape knew that she wouldn't like what he replied and so he kept quiet, instead giving her a nod and a small smile. He returned her gentle squeeze and watched her enter her rooms.

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><p><strong>Please review :) xxx<strong>


	23. Chapter 22

**Huge thanks to those of you who reviewed, your reviews make me very happy. The story takes a big step forwards in this chapter and whilst you will not get a kiss, there will be a big change in their relationship. I have taken the advice of a couple of reviewers, getting rid of the text marking Hermione or Snape's viewpoints. Please let me know what you think. **

**Andrea xx**

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><p><strong>xFiresoulxCrookshanksx:<strong> Thank you, that is very kind of you. I have no idea how long this fiction is going to be, there is no chapter outline at all, so you'll just have to wait and see It is currently almost 50 000 words. Would be happy to help you, what kind of help do you need? Betaing? Please PM and me and we can talk about it.

**WannabeWolfe:** Thank you for your constructive criticism, I have taken your advice, please let me know what you think of this chapter.

**Bethanysb:** You'll find out what they are going to do in the summer in this chapter.

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><p>The next couple of weeks saw Hermione and Snape meeting regularly, with Hermione coming down to his quarters about every other day. Whilst they never spoke about it, the reason Hermione came down when she did the first two weeks, usually quite late in the evening, was because she needed someone to talk to and because she had been tempted to drink. He never asked her why she came down. However, after about two weeks, it became more and more obvious that Hermione was feeling better. What had been quiet evenings spent in his quarters and short walks around the grounds was quickly turning into long and colourful discussions on a wide range of subjects, though often about potions and transfigurations, as well as the odd evening trip to the Three Broomsticks. When McGonagall had found out, through the portraits - the way the head of the school usually did - that Hermione was spending evenings in Snape's quarters again she had called Snape to her office to question him on the nature of their relationship, now that he and Hermione were no longer working together. He had calmly assured her that nothing inappropriate was going on. However, Snape grew more and more attracted to Hermione as every day passed and his self control was threatening to slip away more and more when they were in private. Especially when they had physical contact, something that was no longer rare. It was still foreign to him but he was beginning to get used to it and did no longer tense up as much as he used to. Sometimes, though rarely, he even initiated it.<p>

Snape often wondered if Hermione noticed that her feelings were reciprocated, especially as he often found hiding his emotions to be a struggle, something it had never been before. If she noticed, she didn't show it; still acting around him the way she usually did around good friends. When she touched him, there was never anything sexual about the way she did it, though more than once her touch had made him feel the beginning of an arousal. Luckily, these occasions had been late at night and he had been able to excuse himself by going to bed.

Spring went past in a flurry of green leaves and colourful flowers and summer was approaching quickly. It was now the third week of May and the castle was buzzing with energy. Most students chose to study outside whenever the opportunity arose. It seemed as though everyone was happier now that the dark winter months had come and gone. Hermione was no longer looking as tense as she had before and while she was not always cheerful, she was generally in a good mood when she came to see Snape. He was relieved that she no longer looked as emotionally detached as she had before. Yes, she was still a bit reserved in public but he didn't mind as she always dropped her walls when they were in private.

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><p>On this particular afternoon, Snape was in his quarters grading a stack of third-year essays. It was a sunny day and he enjoyed the strong light that still shone through the large window despite the fact that it was past five in the afternoon. His wards then alerted him to Hermione's presence in his office and he put down his red quill and looked towards the door. She entered through the doorway a moment later, wearing a pair of light blue jeans, some black flats and a loose navy blue jumper. Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun on the top of her head. She looked very relaxed.<p>

"I've got good news!" Hermione exclaimed and took a seat on the sofa, hopefully waiting for him to join her next to the coffee table.

"Go on," he replied and took his usual seat next to the sofa.

"I've got accepted to the _Magische Universität_!" Hermione said with a large smile. "For a joint degree of Potions and Transfigurations."

"Congratulations. I knew they wouldn't reject you." Snape's lips curled up into a genuine smile.

"Obviously it all depends on my final NEWTs but presuming I get the predicted grades I will be fine," she explained, still beaming.

"You will. That is excellent news. We should go down to Hogsmeade tonight for a celebratory drink."

"Yes, that would be nice," she smiled back at first and then she turned serious. "Look, there is something I need to talk to you about, and it's something I've promised not to do, in a way," she continued, sounding uncertain.

He frowned slightly but beckoned for her to continue.

"I need you to listen to what I have to say and not interrupt me, please."

"Very well," Snape replied, now feeling that he was not going to like what she was about to say.

"I am going to move to Berlin in late September and I have decided to spend the time before that travelling. I want to ask you to come with me. When we had our… talk back in February, you told me that you would always see me as your student and that that was the main reason why you would never act on any feelings you might feel for me," Hermione said seriously and looked him straight in the eye, determined to say what she wanted to say. "I want you to be able to get to know me in a place where I'm not your student. I realise that you may not… uh, reciprocate my feelings in any way neither now nor after the summer, but I would be very happy if you could consider giving it a chance," she swallowed deeply before she continued. "If you say that you are not interested in getting to know me outside of Hogwarts, then I will respect that, but please don't come up with any self-depreciating excuses that I know you have already formed in your head," she warned, looking at him with a knowing look in her eyes. "I know for a fact that you are more than able to give yourself to someone completely, you just need to take your time. And don't you dare say that you're too old or that I deserve someone younger or in your eyes, 'better'. There is no one better than you, Severus," she said seriously and gave him a serious look as if to say that he better not start thinking along those lines. "Well, there, that's what I wanted to say," she finished and waited anxiously for his reaction.

As Hermione had no doubt intended to, she had shot down all of Snape's excuses quite successfully. He kept trying to find a plausible excuse in his head, still believing that she deserved someone better than him. However, since she had expressly told him that she would not accept that excuse, he was trying to find another one. Hermione's speech had surprised him and he was having a hard time coming up with a good excuse. When he didn't, he realised that perhaps he should accept her proposal for both of their sakes. It was obviously what she wanted and it was definitely what he wanted - his morals be damned.

"Severus, please, your silence is killing me," Hermione said exasperatedly.

"Hear me out," he began slowly. "Hermione, your proposal is not something that I take lightly. I expect that you have thought it through clearly before you made it and that is what I wanted to do before I give you my reply." He paused to consider his next words. "I do, in fact, harbour some feelings of a, ah, romantic nature for you and I would like to get the opportunity to get to know you outside Hogwarts," he said seriously and looked her straight in her eyes, watching the words sink in. He was met with a beaming face and could not help but smile slightly himself. "I still can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that you are interested in me and I do believe that you deserve someone kinder with a better temper," he paused and put up a hand to stop her coming protests. "However, you are a mature witch capable of making educated decisions and I respect your opinion. You are a beautiful, clever, amazing witch and I would consider myself lucky to have the opportunity to get to know you better," he finished and gave her a small smile.

Hermione looked as if she was ready to burst with happiness and fling herself at him and so he decided to make it easy for her. He stood up and took one of her hands gently and pulled her up to a standing position. Her arms came up around him almost immediately and she embraced him tightly. He returned her actions and rested his head on the top of her head, holding her head to his chest gently. Without thinking he pressed a few gentle kisses on the top of her head. A moment later she loosened her embrace slightly and tilted her head back so that she could look into his eyes. She searched his eyes for something and when she didn't seem to find what she was looking for, she spoke up.

"I presume there will be no kissing as long as I'm still your student?" she asked softly, her brown eyes meeting his dark ones.

"I'm afraid not," Snape replied with regret in his voice and cupped one of her cheeks. He caressed it gently and then moved on to the other cheek, softly tracing her scar. "Beautiful," he whispered, silencing any insecurity Hermione might have been feeling. He then pressed her tightly to his chest.

For a long time, both of them held on to each other as if they were each other's lifelines. It was as if neither could believe what was happening and that if they were to let go of each other then perhaps it would all turn out to be a dream. Snape was the first to drop his arms slowly, caressing her back along the way, and took a step back. Hermione took one of his hands in a soft grip and gently tugged him towards the sofa. She sat down on it, leaning her back on one of the armrests and spread her legs a bit. Then she pulled him down to sit in front of her, in between her legs. He did so, somewhat uncomfortably, and as soon as he was seated in front of her, she wrapped her arms around his chest and pulled him back so that his back was leaning on her. His head was on top of her chest, which was rising and falling at a steady rate. In her head she was more than a little nervous but somehow her body was calm. She felt him relax against her.

No words were necessary as Snape placed his hands on top of Hermione's and then, a moment later, closed his eyes. Hermione, like he had done before, pressed a kiss to the top of his head and then leaned back, closing her eyes as well.

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><p><strong>Please review xx<strong>


	24. Chapter 23

**Huge thanks to all of you who reviewed – am so happy that I've almost got 250 reviews! Not that much happening in this chapter but it's quite sweet; at least that was how I intended it. Hope you like it. **

**Andrea xx**

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><p><strong>AwestruckBadger: <strong>Thank you so much!

**Watchwoman:** Thank you very much for your kind words. Really appreciate the compliment on my language. I used to write in Swedish when I was younger and occasionally write a few pages here and there but it doesn't quite work for some reason. Well, it works, but the language doesn't flow and usually turns out quite stiff and raw, and not in a good way. If I ever do attempt to write a novel, hopefully my English will have improved enough so that I can write in English, will probably move to the UK next year so that should help.

**Stephiebob22:** Thank you so much - I agree with you in terms of changing the characters.

**WannabeWolfe:** Glad you liked the POV changes.

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><p>It was the final week of May and exams were quickly approaching. With only two more weeks to go until the beginning of exams, most students were getting very stressed and spent almost every waking hour in the library. Hermione, being the ambitious student that she was, tried to get in an hour in the library before breakfast and stayed there after school until about 10 in the evening when she usually went and visited Snape.<p>

Today was no different than any other day. It was a quarter to ten when Hermione entered Snape's sitting room, finding him marking papers. When he noticed her, he put down his quill and rose to greet her. She shrugged off her cloak; underneath it she was wearing a long navy blue jumper over a pair of black leggings, her favourite casual outfit as Snape had come to understand.

"Hey," she said and embraced him in the way that had quickly become their usual way of greeting each other.

"Hello," Snape said and hugged her.

Their hug lasted for a few moments, both of them enjoying the contact. Snape was the first to pull away.

"I have three more papers to grade," he said in a regretful tone and gestured for her to sit down. "Do you want something to drink?"

"I'm okay, thanks. Don't worry, take your time," she said and motioned for him to resume his previous occupation. She seated herself in the sofa.

About twenty minutes later Snape was able to put his quill down, placing all the essays in a neat pile that, with a flick of his wand, was sent to the desk in his office. He looked at Hermione, finding her in deep thought. After a few moments of watching her, she seemed to snap out of whatever it was that she had been thinking about. She removed her jumper, leaving her in nothing but a loose grey t-shirt that, even though it was far from close fitting, gave him a good idea of how her upper body looked. While her stomach was far from perfectly flat, it looked just the way Snape wanted it to. After all, he had always preferred when there was something to hold on to. Hermione was perfectly healthy and that was something he found very attractive. Because of the way her t-shirt hugged her breasts, showing the lines of her bra, he was more than a little curious to see what her breasts looked like. He noticed that her second scar disappeared under her shirt and he wondered if it covered one of her breasts or if it ended above it. Not that he minded either way but he was curious. He watched her crossing her legs and as she did so, she noticed him staring at her. She gave him an amused smile as he turned his eyes, which had now moved down to her hips, to her face.

"How is revision going?" he asked, not waiting for her to comment on the way he had been positively ogling her in a way that was far from appropriate for a teacher.

"Well, I'm up to date with my revision schedule so that's good," Hermione replied, flexing her wrists, which were stiff from writing.

"You would have a revision schedule, wouldn't you?" Snape said with a smirk.

"Of course," she smirked back at him. "Though I will be glad when it's over, all this revision is tiring and it's making me sleep restlessly as I'm not relaxed enough when I go to bed," she complained.

"I would suggest you leave the library earlier, hence giving your more time to relax before you go to bed, but I know from my own experience that that is pointless if you spend hours studying every day."

"Yes, I know. But I've been thinking of one thing that might work," Hermione said and hesitated slightly. "How exactly did the Headmistress find out that I'd been sleeping here on occasion?"

"From the portraits. They report anything unusual, such as a student returning to her bedroom at 6 o'clock in the morning, to her," he replied, wondering what she had in mind.

"That's what I thought. Well, I was wondering if maybe we could spend the night together? As in just sleeping next to each other," she added, realising that her previous sentence could be misinterpreted.

"Floo?"

"Yes. What do you think?" she asked, somewhat nervously. After all, the two of them sharing a bed for a night would be a very big step forwards in their friendship, relationship – whatever it was.

Snape was quiet, contemplating his response. On the one hand, he wanted to accept her proposal very much, on the other hand, he wondered how big or rather, how small, the step between sleeping next to each other and kissing each other was. He knew that sharing a student's bed was far from appropriate but at the same time he could not find it in him to deny her what she wanted. If she wanted his company at night, then how was he to refuse her?

"All right," he finally said. "But we have to be careful. You said that you are the only one able to use your floo, how about you floo here when… when you're ready for bed?" Snape suggested, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the situation.

"Okay, see you soon," Hermione replied with a smile and left Snape's quarters.

For the first time in as long as he could remember, Snape was nervous about going to bed. Tonight was going to be the first time that he shared a bed with a woman without being inebriated and having sex with said woman first. On the few occasions that he had spent the night with a woman, he had always left the bed before dawn, not wanting to experience the awkwardness of the morning after. He doubted Hermione would appreciate it if she woke up alone and knew that there was no running away from his fears where Hermione was involved. That was what he liked about her and their friendship, after all. Whilst they hadn't told each other everything about themselves, they never lied to each other. After spending years playing different roles and lying to everyone around him, honesty was something Snape valued a lot.

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><p>Hermione returned half an hour later, entering through his fireplace. She was wearing a pair of navy blue pyjama trousers, a black loose, t-shirt as well as a long grey cardigan. A pair of beige slippers covered her feet. She brushed some soot from her shoulders and took a few steps into the room, feeling quite nervous all of a sudden. She wondered if spending the night together shad really been such a great idea after all.<p>

Snape put down the book he had been reading and walked up to Hermione, after noticing her nervous expression. He cupped one of her cheeks and looked into her eyes.

"I am aware that this is a big step forwards," he said quietly and tried to convey to her that he, too, was nervous.

Hermione didn't reply but took a step forward so that their bodies came into contact with each other and embraced him tightly. She felt his strong arms encircle her and his head came down to rest upon hers. A chaste kiss was placed on the top of her head. Snape then dropped his arms and took one of her hands in his and led her to his bedroom.

Hermione had never been inside Snape's bedroom before and took a good look around it as she entered it. The room was not very big, its only furniture consisting of a large bed, more than big enough for two people, a built-in wardrobe, two bedside tables and a chair in dark green. There was a small window with curtains in dark blue, almost black. The floor was covered by a thick rug, in the same shade of green as the chair, to keep out the coldness of the dungeons. In the corners of the room there were candles floating, casting a soft light on the room. If Hermione had to describe the room with one word, it would be 'cosy'.

"Do you have a favourite side?" Hermione asked softly as both of the bedside tables were covered with books, hence making it impossible for her to know which side of the bed he slept on.

"I usually sleep on the left side," Snape replied evenly.

"Okay," Hermione replied and took off her slippers.

Snape walked over to his wardrobe and got out a pair of black pyjamas. He usually slept with just the bottoms on but decided on wearing the shirt as well tonight as he didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

"I'll just go change," he said and left the bedroom.

Hermione removed her cardigan and let her hair down from the ponytail it had been in. She moved over to the right side of the bed and lifted the bedspread somewhat nervously. She pulled it down on the floor and folded it neatly, before getting under the white duvet.

The bedroom door was opened a few minutes later and Snape entered, wearing the black pyjamas. He got into the bed without making eye contact with Hermione and placed his wand on the bedside table next to him. For a few moments they just lay next to each other, both feeling rather awkward. Then Hermione decided to be brave and gave his arm a gentle caress. Snape flinched slightly but quickly composed himself. Instead of removing her hand as a reaction to him flinching, Hermione kept it there and gave him a moment to collect himself. She realised the he was probably just as nervous as she was, if not even more, seeing as he was her teacher and therefore had a lot more moral burdens on his shoulders than she did.

"Please hold me," Hermione said softly and turned around so that her back was towards Snape. She felt him hesitate for a moment before he moved forwards and gently placed a hand on her waist. She shifted backwards slightly so that their bodies came into contact with each other and placed a hand over the one Snape rested on her waist. Snape moved Hermione's hair away from her neck and placed a soft kiss on the nape of her neck, sending a tingling sensation down her spine.

"Goodnight," Hermione whispered with a yawn.

"Goodnight," he replied and with a bit of wandless magic, all the candles in the room were put out.

Hermione was the first to wake up the next morning. It took her a moment to realise where she was but when she did, a smile appeared on her face. She didn't think she had ever slept so well or woken up in such a comfortable embrace before. At some point during the night, their positions had shifted slightly and she now felt a very masculine leg between her own legs. The hand Snape had placed on her waist the night before was now just below her breast, grazing the underside of it. That was when she realised the hard budge pressing into her bottom. When she realised what it was, her mouth opened in shock and then turned into a smile. She decided to tease him, moving her right leg slightly along his legs, enjoying the contact. After just a few moments, she felt Snape begin to stir.

"Good morning," Hermione said cheerfully and stopped moving her leg.

"Hello," Snape rumbled back tiredly.

Hermione waited for him to realise their position and did not have to wait long. She felt him move his hand away from her breast and placed her hand on top of his to keep it from moving.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked softly.

"Better than I have in a long time," Snape said honestly. "Did you manage to get more sleep than you have lately?" That was when he realised that his erection was currently pressing into her bottom. He was mortified to say the least and began to disentangle himself from her.

"I didn't wake up a single time," she said slowly and decided to tease him once more. She pressed her bottom back against his bulging erection.

"You little minx," Snape replied with amusement in his voice, not feeling quite so embarrassed when he realised that she hadn't jumped out of bed when she registered his erection.

Hermione allowed him to move away from her and turned around to face him, resting her head on her hand.

"Thank you. I needed a good night's sleep," she said with a smile and caressed his cheek. His hair was a complete mess and she decided she enjoyed seeing him this way. He looked a lot more approachable than he usually did and not as tense.

"I think I better go back to my room," she said and placed a chaste kiss on his forehead before getting out of bed.

"Yes," Snape agreed.

"I'll try to come and see you tonight." She put on her cardigan and slippers and paused by the door. "I like your hair that way," she said with a smile.

"Don't work too hard," he told her and moved a hand up to his hair. It was messy to say the least.

When he heard her floo back to her room his lips curled into a smile. It had been a long time since he had felt this content. Thinking of her made his manhood twitch slightly and he decided to give it some much needed attention. He didn't have to touch himself for very long before he climaxed, picturing Hermione's hands around him.

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><p><strong>Please review xx<strong>


	25. Chapter 24

**Am so happy that you liked the last chapter, thank you to those who reviews, as always your reviews make me very happy! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update. I had quite an awkward situation with a friend who's a guy last week and I found it really hard to look at couples after that so writing about one wasn't really an option. I didn't quite know how to get past it but yesterday I realised that I should just write it down as a story and so I did. For some reason, writing about the whole thing as if it were fiction helped me get past it. So when that was done, I could start writing the next chapter for this one, which I just finished. Hope you enjoy it. **

**Andrea xx**

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><p>The clock struck three pm and announced the end of Hermione's final exam, the theory part of Transfigurations. She put down her quill and looked around her. There were more than one hundred students in the Great Hall, from different classes and years, and whilst most looked relieved that the exam was over, some were already worrying about not having done well enough. On the whole, Hermione was happy with her performance in the exams. Yes, there was the stressful moment in the Potions exam when she had been about to add half a teaspoon of chopped beetle wings too much but she had remembered not to. And that was only because Snape had taught her to do that, explaining that it made the potion a lot more potent, before telling her not to do it in the exam as the examiners did not want the students' own interpretations. Knowing that the examiners were not looking for the best possible potion had annoyed Hermione but she had accepted the fact and followed his advice.<p>

The sound of the scraping of the chairs interrupted Hermione's train of thought and she realised that it was about time she left the room. She quickly gathered her things and left the room in silence, hoping to get out before Ginny caught up with her. Unfortunately, today was not one of her lucky days.

"Hey, Hermione!" Ginny called out to Hermione the moment she was in her line of sight. The young redhead approached her. "How did it go?"

"Okay, I think. I'm just so relieved that they're all over. You?" Hermione replied, doing her best not to show how annoyed she was.

"I had absolutely no idea what to write on the Animagus question but apart from that I think it went okay. I can't believe we're done! We need to celebrate, big time! Did you hear that McGonagall gave her permission for us to go down to Hogsmeade tonight?" Ginny asked, excitement obvious in her voice.

"Yes. I'm not sure I'll be able to make it though, Gin, I'm feeling quite tired," she lied.

"Hermione, seriously, the NEWTs are over! You have to celebrate with us!" Ginny protested.

"I'll relax now and let you know during supper," Hermione offered, trying to find a way out of the conversation. She had promised to visit Snape when she was done with her exams and she was dying to see him. The last week had been very intense, with her only being able to visit him twice due to how stressed she had been about the exams.

"Okay, see you at supper," Ginny replied, looking disappointed for a second before she turned to talk to her other friends.

Hermione felt bad for a second but then she shrugged and walked off in the direction of the dungeons.

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><p>She let her into Snape's office and found him at his desk, marking papers. Most students complained about the amount of homework Snape gave them, but after seeing how hard he worked, grading said homework, Snape was the only one Hermione felt sorry for.<p>

"I'm done!" Hermione said and smiled broadly.

"How was it?" Snape asked as he walked around his desk.

"Okay, I think. I just can't believe they're all over," Hermione said quietly, with a wondering smile on her face. "It feels a bit unreal."

Snape wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him tightly. As always, Hermione reciprocated. Though today she pulled back after a few seconds.

"Look, I'm not your student anymore," Hermione pointed out and did her best impression of a sad puppy with pouting lips.

Snape looked uncomfortable for a moment and it was obvious he was deciding whether to kiss her or not.

"You have not received your diploma yet," he finally said after a few moments. One of his hands came up and cupped the back of her head and he pulled her towards him. He rested his chin on top of her head.

Hermione was slightly annoyed but understood his reasoning and deep down she knew that his way of always sticking to his morals was one of the things that attracted her to him.

"Well, how about we get out of Hogwarts for the afternoon? We've got about three hours until dinner, which is plenty of time. We could floo somewhere."

Snape contemplated her suggestion for a moment.

"Very well. Where do you want to go?" he asked.

"Somewhere where we don't know anyone, it would be nice to just go to a small village nearby, what do you think?"

"How about Dufftown?"

"Okay," Hermione said, still smiling, and pulled him towards the fireplace.

"There's a pub we can floo to, just say 'The Dufftown Dog' when you floo."

"I didn't know there was a magical community in Dufftown," Hermione said and grabbed some floo powder.

"There is, but it's not very big, then again neither is Dufftown. On second thought, perhaps we should leave the robes here," he said and discarded his so that he was just wearing what could be interpreted as a very old-fashioned muggle suit. "And maybe make you look like less of a school girl," he said and flicked his wand. A moment later Hermione's tie was gone along with the various Gryffindor badges.

Hermione looked down at herself for a moment before she changed her skirt and tights to a pair of black trousers. That would have to do, she decided.

"After you," Snape said smoothly and grabbed a handful of floo powder for himself.

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><p>Hermione stepped into the fireplace, called 'The Dufftown Dog' loudly and disappeared a moment later. She stepped out into what seemed like a small pub and brushed some soot off her arms.<p>

"Welcome, Miss," the barman called from behind the bar disk.

Snape appeared, stepping out of the fireplace as graceful as ever.

"Good afternoon, Sir," the barman added.

"Want to go for a walk?" Hermione asked.

"Yes," Snape replied and together they left the pub.

They were in a street that was quite small and very quiet. The town had less than 2000 inhabitants and since it was still in the afternoon, most of those were probably still at work or at school, leaving the streets practically empty.

"The river is that way, we could walk there," Snape said and gestured to the left.

"Sure," Hermione replied, feeling slightly nervous all of a sudden.

"But first there is something I want to do," Snape said and turned towards her. He placed one hand on one of her shoulders and the other one gently on her neck before tilting her head upwards slightly. The distance between them was closed as he pressed his lips against hers very softly.

It took Hermione a moment to react as she was a bit shocked by him being affectionate in public. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back. After a few moments, Snape pulled back slightly, leaving an inch or two between them. His thin lips were smiling, as he looked straight into her eyes. Hermione beamed at him before closing the distance between them once more. Their first kiss did not make Hermione's knees weak, nor did it make her feel giddy. It did, however, make her feel warmth and happiness coursing throughout her body. But most of all, she felt content and relief, at finally being able to be affectionate with the man she liked. After a few more moments spent kissing, Snape pulled back and simply hugged her tightly. They stood embracing each other for a few minutes before Hermione stepped back and took his hand.

Snape had never been one for holding hands in public, not that he had had many offers, but he found that with Hermione, in a city where he did not know anyone, he did not mind. Instead of thinking about every step or move he made, the way he had for years, he was able to just enjoy walking hand in hand with Hermione, following her lead. It was exhilarating, to say the least.

"Have you been here before?" Hermione asked.

"A couple of times, mainly just to go to a pub close to Hogwarts but still somewhere where people don't know me," he said.

They reached the river Fiddich and decided to sit down in the grass next to the river. Snape cast a drying spell before they sat down. As it was June, the area was completely green.

Hermione leaned her head on his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. Every few minutes or so, they kissed.

"You've no idea how happy I am to be able to sit here with you," Hermione said quietly, her voice almost a whisper, placing a kiss on Snape's cheek.

Snape's next words surprised her as he hardly ever spoke of his feelings.

"I feel the same way," he said and cupped both of her cheeks, looking into her eyes as he kissed her. He knew he was acting like a lovesick teenager but he could not care less.

It was the first time Hermione had ever been kissed in that way, making her feel as though someone liked her just for her and really saw her, not just liked the idea of her. She was over the moon.

"You know, in less than two weeks we'll be gone from Hogwarts," Hermione said, smiling at the thought. "I can't wait."

"Where do you want to go first?"

"I was thinking of Hamburg, what do you say?"

"Hamburg it is," he replied and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Have you spoken to the Headmistress yet?"

"I have tendered my resignation and let her know that I will be leaving at the end of term, at the same time as the students, but I have yet to tell her what I will be doing. I suppose we should go talk to her together at some point in the next two weeks. Though we have to be careful to make sure that she cannot tell that we are… romantically involved. It would be preferable if she could find out at the end of the summer."

"Yes, I agree," Hermione replied and remained quiet, thinking about her next question. "Severus, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I was just wondering, well, I mean, it's just that I know so little about your… romantic history," she said, feeling very silly.

Snape contemplated his answer, not wanting to tell her but on the other hand not wanting to lie to her.

"I had the occasional fling when I was younger but nothing serious. Since then, I have not been in a relationship with anyone, my working as a spy did not exactly facilitate romantic liaisons for me," he replied, sounding a bit rigid. After all, he was not proud over the fact that he had sometimes gone to prostitutes. "How about you?" he asked, biting his tongue before he could say something derogatory about Krum or the Weasley boy.

"Well, as I'm sure you know, I had short flings with Viktor Krum and Ron but I don't think of them as relationships. There was a guy in France last summer, called Laurent, but it was more… physical than romantic, I wouldn't say that it was a serious relationship. I… Severus, this is new to me," she admitted, hoping he wouldn't find her terribly childish and insecure.

"Me too," he admitted quietly, his words surprising her.

Hermione wrapped an arm around his waist and relished in the contact.

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><p>After an hour or so, Snape announced it was about time that they returned to the castle. They walked back up to the pub, hand in hand again, enjoying the moments of freedom, which were after all a promise of what was to come. When they approached the door to the pub, they stopped. Again, they kissed, with Snape running a finger along Hermione's face and down along her neck, sending comfortable shivers along her spine. This time, neither one pulled back for a long time but when they finally did, they were both breathless. Hermione placed a chaste final kiss on his lips before pulling him into the pub.<p>

When they returned to Snape's office at Hogwarts, they both still wore smiles on their faces. They readjusted their clothes and smoothed their hair.

"Thank you, I needed that," Hermione said, smiling shyly.

"So did I, more than I had expected," he admitted softly.

"I think I will have to go to Hogsmeade with the others tonight or Ginny won't ever forgive me, but could I perhaps sleep here tonight?"

"I will wait for you," he said and caressed her cheek gently. I think you should join them, one final night as a student with people your age will do you good."

"I guess. See you later," she said and left his office, still smiling.

It took Snape uncharacteristically long to gather himself and put his mask in place. He did not think he had ever felt so content.

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><p><strong>Please review, and please let me know if you think everything's too happy at the moment.<strong>


	26. Chapter 25

**Huge thanks for your reviews! Am glad you like the pace of the story and that you don't think it's too happy. Someone suggested that I should start addressing Snape as Severus and I understand their reasoning but think it would be a bit strange to change the way I write him in the middle of a story. And I've always found stories that begin with Snape being called Severus slightly odd, as he's usually not on familiar terms with anyone in the beginning of a story. But I do agree that it's a bit weird that he's still Snape but I think it would be weirder if I began addressing him as Severus, what do the rest of you think? Unfortunately won't be able to update for the next week or two as exams are coming up. **

**Andrea xx**

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><p>"So, we should just tell her that we've become friends and that we're going travelling together, as friends?" Hermione asked dubiously.<p>

Snape and Hermione were in Snape's office, discussing the best way to approach the Headmistress about the two of them going abroad together. They had already notified her that they wanted to have a meeting with her and were due in her office ten minutes later.

"Yes, that is the general idea. However, it might be best if you explain the part about us becoming friendly as I doubt Minerva would be believe me. If anything, she would think that I have hexed you or some similar nonsense," Snape replied with a snort.

Hermione laughed and gave him a peck on the cheek.

"If she does accuse you of doing anything untoward, she's an idiot," Hermione declared and looked at her watch. "I think it's time."

Snape nodded his agreement and opened the door.

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><p>The Headmistress bid them welcome when her wards alerted her to their presence. They entered her office and found her seated behind her desk.<p>

"Severus, Hermione, please have a seat," she greeted them and gestured towards the two chairs facing her desk. "Tea? Coffee?"

"No, thank you, Headmistress," Hermione replied and sat down next to Snape.

Snape just shook his head slightly in response to the offer.

"I must admit, you have succeeded in making me curious," the Headmistress said and smiled slightly. "What is it that you wish to talk to me about?"

Hermione was the first one to speak up, making an effort to ensure that her voice remained neutral.

"A couple of weeks ago, I made plans to travel this summer. I intend to leave on the same day as the other students take the train back to London," Hermione explained. "I then asked Professor Snape to accompany me, as a friend," she continued, finding the use of his title sounding strangely foreign on her lips since she hadn't used it outside of his classroom for months. "After all, travelling is more fun when you share it with someone."

"I accepted her invitation and as Miss Granger said, we will depart on the same day as the rest of the school. Obviously, this concerns no one else but we decided that you had a right to know," Snape said in his deep voice, sounding rather bored.

The headmistress looked surprised for a moment before she schooled her features.

"I see. I must say, you have taken me by surprise," she replied and frowned. "I most certainly appreciate you telling me," she added before her facial expression turned pensieve. "Please forgive me for having to ask the next question, but I feel I must. The nature of your relationship, I do hope it is not more than friendly?" she asked in a stern voice, giving Snape a hard stare.

"Headmistress, I assure you that Professor Snape and I are friends, no less and no more," Hermione quickly cut in before Snape had a chance to reply.

The Headmistress turned to look at Hermione in surprise. She studied her student closely for a moment or two.

"Very well. May I inquire as to where you will be travelling?"

"We have not made a clear plan yet, but we intend to begin our journey in Hamburg," Snape replied.

"Well, I hope the two of you have a lovely summer," the Headmistress said, her tone making it obvious that they were dismissed.

"You too, Headmistress," Hermione said and rose.

"Minerva," Snape said and gave her a curt nod before he followed Hermione out of the room.

They stood in silence as the staircase rotated them down to the corridor. When they stepped out into it, they looked around to make sure that there was no one else around.

"My quarters?" Hermione asked.

Snape nodded and together they headed off in the direction of Hermione's rooms. Luckily, when they got there, the corridor was empty and they could enter unseen.

Hermione waited until the portrait had closed before she spoke.

"Well, it went okay, didn't it?" she said and sat down on the sofa, kicking off her shoes.

"Yes, I thought so. I think she is still a bit suspicious but there is nothing she can do," Snape replied and unbuttoned his top button as well as taking off his shoes.

"Hold me," Hermione asked softly and gestured towards one of the corners of the sofa.

Snape sat down where he had been asked to and pulled her towards him, her head resting on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist, letting his hands caress her gently. Hermione made a sound of content and closed her eyes.

"I can't believe we'll be gone from here in less than two weeks," Hermione said thoughtfully.

"It will be strange, to say the least. But I think we are both in need of it."

"Yes," the Gryffindor mused and was silent for a few moments. "Severus, there is something that you've yet to tell me. I haven't asked you because I think it's something that you don't want to talk about but I, well, I want to know," she said and opened her eyes.

"Then ask."

"How did you survive Nagini? I was there, I thought I watched you die," Hermione whispered, her voice almost breaking at the mention of his nearly dying.

"Hermione, you could have asked me that a long time ago," Snape said evenly, sounding neither angry nor sad.

"Well, you don't exactly love talking about yourself," Hermione half-muttered, but gave him a small smile to show that she wasn't angry.

"Ever since I first came into contact with Nagini, many years ago, I have been injecting her poison on a regular basis. However, the night Voldemort ordered her to kill me, the dose injected into my body was so large that I almost died. It took my body a long time to deal with it, hence the coma," Snape explained, watching her surprised facial expression with amusement in his eyes. "Are you really that surprised to find that a potions master, who was in regular contact with a very poisonous snake, tried to develop immunity to said snake's venom?"

"God, you make it sound so normal. All I can say is that I am glad."

"I should hope so," Snape replied and tightened his hold on her.

Hermione looked up at him and bit her bottom lip as she considered her next question. She did not want to upset him but then she wanted to know the answer to her next question. _And if he reacted badly, then that was his problem_, she tried to tell herself.

"Do speak up. I should hope that we have reached the state in our relationship where you have stopped worrying about my reaction. And should I react in an unsatisfactory way, I seem to recall you being quite capable of physical violence," Snape said dryly, but his eyes shone with amusement.

"Careful, or I might think that you're encouraging that side of me," Hermione smiled back before her face turned serious. "Severus, I don't know what it is that we have and I don't know how this summer will turn out. But presuming everything goes well; I don't want to have to keep hiding our relationship. I don't want to go public as in letting the whole wizarding world know, but I would like you to join me for dinner at the Weasleys' once in a while, and for us to be able to have dinner at a restaurant like a normal couple. I'm not ashamed of us as a couple and…" she continued but was cut off.

"Hermione, if I ever gave you the impression that I am ashamed of you, I must apologize. The only reason why I don't think we can tell anyone now is because I am still a teacher at a school where you are a student," Snape said, tilting her head slightly so that he could look into her eyes. "You have no idea of how much I am looking forward to us being able to act like normal people in public."

Hermione smiled happily at hearing his answer.

"It's not that I thought you were ashamed of me, it's just that you are a very private man, and I'm quite a private person myself, that's why I was worried that you might not want to be a couple in public."

"You are right that I am a private person, but just because I don't want to sit at the most central table in a restaurant doesn't mean I won't go to the restaurant at all. If anything, I am more concerned about you having to worry about people questioning your grades because you were in a relationship with a professor."

"Well, everyone who knows me will know that I would never stoop so low to achieve the grades I want and that will have to be enough."

"You are a remarkable witch, Hermione. If I had been half as mature as you when I was your age, my life might have turned out in a completely different way," Snape replied quietly.

"Well, if it's any consolation, whilst I'm not happy about what you have had to go through, it has made you a great man," Hermione said determinedly and placed a kiss on one of his hands.

Snape did not agree with her words but who was he to speak up when that was what Hermione thought about him and even kissed his hand? It was the first time that he had ever experienced such affection from another human being. And that was when Snape realised that his feelings for Hermione were stronger than he had ever thought possible. He hugged her tighter and caressed her gently. At one point he very nearly touched her breast and immediately lowered his hands when he noticed it. To his surprise Hermione placed a hand over his and slowly moved his hand upwards so it came to rest on her right breast. A voice in the back of his head muttered that he should not be doing this at Hogwarts but he silenced it immediately. Tentatively, as if afraid that he would hurt her, he touched her breast and marvelled at how soft it was. He could feel the thin fabric of her bra through the white shirt she was wearing. Cupping her breast, he gently massaged it, still in awe of her letting him.

"That feels so good," Hermione said quietly, her eyes closed.

Snape felt brave and moved his hand to her other breast, giving it the same treatment. They remained in that position, with Snape slowly caressing Hermione's upper body, until curfew, when Snape went back down to his own quarters.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>


	27. Chapter 26

**Once again, thank you so much for your reviews! Can't believe that I've soon got more than 300 reviews, it's amazing and it makes me so happy! I've been thinking about this chapter for quite a while as it's rather central to the main plot (you'll soon see why) and I found it quite hard to write but I felt good after writing it as I felt that it was necessary for the story. Please let me know what you think.**

**Andrea xx**

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><p><strong>Gingerstorm101<strong>: Haha I hope I didn't make you late for your first day at work and that it went okay!

**Allyll:** Thank you, they're over now and I think they went all right :)

**Charlie74656:** Thank you so much for writing such long reviews. It is so rewarding to read a review that actually makes me see my story in a different light, and to get five of them is awesome! As to your question regarding Snape or Severus, you'll find out in this chapter. Same with the scar potion. Hope this meets your expectations.

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><p>It was their final night at Hogwarts and Snape had asked Hermione to come see him in his quarters as soon as the leaving feast ended. During dinner, Hermione felt strangely nostalgic and happy at the same time. It was strange that this was going to be her last leaving feast and more than a little sad, yet she could not wait to leave. She took a spoonful of the chocolate cake in front of her and heard her fellow seventh year Gryffindors express, for about the hundredth time, their thoughts on how insane it was that this was their final dinner at Hogwarts. She smiled blankly at them and nodded and laughed when required to. Ginny told her in a bossy voice that she expected Hermione to take part in the leaving party about to be held in the common room the same night. Hermione forced herself to reply in a kind tone that yes, she wanted to, but that she was very tired and wanted to go to bed.<p>

Hermione still hadn't told Ginny or any of her friends outside Hogwarts that she was going travelling with Snape. Somehow, she felt the need to keep that part of her life secret until she knew for sure that her friends would not be able to destroy what she had with Severus, yes, he had been nothing but Severus in her mind for a long time now. She smiled at the thought of him and looked up at the head table. He was engaging in a conversation with the Headmistress and looked alert, if slightly expressionless. She tried to catch his eye but he didn't spare so much as a glance at any of the students. There was no end to how happy Hermione was feeling about not having to hide their relationship for much longer. She quickly finished her cake and listened to the Headmistress' final speech. As soon as she noticed Severus leaving the great hall, she made her excuses and left through the main entrance.

The corridors were empty as all of the students were still having supper and so Hermione managed to make her way into Severus' quarters unnoticed. She found him sitting in his favourite chair, waiting for her. The expression on his face was one similar to anxiety and he looked more than a little out of character.

"Hermione," he said softly and rose.

They hugged briefly, with Severus taking a step back almost immediately.

"What's the matter?" Hermione asked, looking into his eyes. To her relief, he smiled at her.

"Nothing is wrong, but there is something I need to tell you, please sit down," he said and gestured towards the sofa, before seating himself in the chair.

Hermione was not assured by his words but did what he asked. She was more than a little nervous.

"There is no easy way to say this so I am just going to say it. I never stopped working on the scar-removal potion and I think I might have succeeded in making it. I would like you to try it tonight, if you want to," Severus said seriously and carefully eyed her reaction.

The Gryffindor was more than a little shocked and it took a few moments for her to absorb the information.

"How?"

Severus proceeded to explain how he had found the magical pattern to consist of runes and how he had then matched them to the contents of the potion. He left out the amount of time it had taken him.

"I… I don't know what to say," Hermione finally said. "Thank you, I suppose. I can't believe you managed to connect it to the runes, it's amazing, Severus. Really. It must have taken you ages…"

"If it can ease your pain, it is worth it," Severus replied quietly, feeling uncomfortable about the gratitude being bestowed on him.

"When can I try it?"

"Now. Come with me," he said and opened the door to his laboratory.

A few minutes later they were both standing next to a working table with a small blue vial between them.

"It should be applied directly to the scars. Will you allow me to.." Severus said, sounding almost hesitant.  
>"Yes," Hermione replied, sounding very sure of herself, despite feeling very nervous on the inside.<p>

"Very well." Severus opened the vial and put some cream on his fingers. With one hand he removed Hermione's hair from her forehead and then gently applied the cream with his other hand. He made sure his touch was light and spread the cream over her top scar. When the cream had disappeared into her skin, he took a step back, eyeing her carefully.

"How quickly should it work?" Hermione asked nervously.

"Immediately, or so I thought." Severus looked at her scar closely for a few moments, touched it again to make sure that all of the cream had been absorbed, and then retreated with a sinister expression on his face.

"It didn't work, did it?" Hermione asked breathlessly.

"I'm afraid not, I must have translated some of the runes incorrectly, or matched the wrong ingredients to the wrong runes, or done something wrong in the brewing… Hermione, there are still many other things I can try and I won't stop until I succeed," Severus said in a tender voice as he cupped her scarred cheek.

"No," Hermione said sharply and looked into Severus' surprised eyes. "Look, I thought I wanted to get rid of my scars, and I really did want to before, but now… I was so happy when you told me you had succeeded in creating the potion but now that it didn't work, I almost feel relieved. I think it's about time I accepted what I look like." She spoke in a quiet tone, sounding paradoxically very vulnerable and very confident at the same time.

Severus, on the other hand, smiled at her words. "I… I feel, well that is, I am very happy to hear you say that," he said, obviously not accustomed to expressing his feelings in a straightforward manner. "Hermione, I don't want you to get rid of your scars and I definitely wouldn't find you more beautiful without them. However, if feel you would be happier without them, I would do everything in my power to help you, but personally, I do not want you to remove them and I doubt you would be happier without them. They are a big part of who you are and what you have done," Severus said seriously.

"I think you're right. But how about you? The same goes for you, I don't want you to remove your mark."

"I think it is about time I came to terms with mine. I don't know exactly when the realisation hit me, but I think my mark is too big a part of me to be removed. I do not want to forget what I have done and if I did remove it, I doubt I could ever forgive myself for my old crimes."

"I think it's about time we both accepted our marks," Hermione said quietly and looked into his eyes with a determined look on her face. She moved up her hands to her tie and loosened it. As she went on to unbutton her shirt she found Severus looking at her in surprise. She silently implored him, with her eyes, to be quiet and he seemed to understand that she needed to do what she was doing. There was nothing sexual in the way she pulled off her shirt and stood in front of him in her bra. She reached behind her back and unclasped her bra, baring both her normal breast and her scarred one. There she was, standing in front of Severus with her upper body naked, and skirt, tights and shoes on her lower body. Her hair was in a high ponytail.

"This is me," Hermione whispered, feeling very naked all of a sudden. "You're the only one I've showed the full extent of my scars to."

Severus gave her a warm smile and gently touched the top of Hermione's top scar with two fingers. He traced the scar slowly, almost caressing it. When he reached the bottom of it, he moved to her next scar, while still maintaining eye contact with her. Without hesitating, he let his fingers continue along the part of the scar covering her right breast. The scar continued along the side of her nipple and ended on the underside of her breast. His fingers found the end of her scar and he removed them, instead pulling her into an embrace.

"You are so beautiful and brave," he said softly and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, resting one hand on her waist and another one on the top of her back.

Hermione did not reply but instead hugged him back tightly. They embraced for what seemed like forever but was probably no longer than a few minutes.

Severus then took a step back and clasped one of Hermione's hands, leading her out of the room and into his bedroom. They exchanged a glance and both nodded in silent agreement. A moment later, they both began undressing. While both of them looked rather shy, they made no attempt to hide any part of their body. Hermione was the first one to remove her underwear and Severus soon followed suit. Then they were both naked.

Hermione approached Severus and took in his body. There were several scars on his chest and even more on his upper arms. All of them were quite pale, making it obvious that they were quite old. The dark mark on his wrist was faded, but still very visible. He was still on the thin side and not overly muscular but Hermione longed to touch him. There was a line of dark hair on his lower belly, leading down to his flaccid penis. His thighs looked strong.

Severus, on the other hand, was busy looking at Hermione's body. Her breasts were quite small but he loved how soft they looked and the way her nipples were hard from the cold dungeon air. He found himself very attracted to the pale shade of her skin. When his eyes travelled downwards, he noticed that her sex was covered in smooth dark brown curls and that he wondered what it would feel like to have her legs wrapped around him.

Hermione approached Severus and gave him a gentle kiss, before taking a hold of one of his hands, leading him to his bed. They got under the covers and Severus spooned behind her without her having to ask him to. He placed one hand on one of her breasts and the other one on her waist, slipping one leg through hers. There was nothing sexual about the way they were touching but their position was filled with love, regardless of whether they were aware of it or not.

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><p><strong>So now it's Severus instead of Snape – what do you think? And was it too corny? Please review. <strong>


	28. Chapter 27

**Dear all, thank you so much for your reviews! I still can't believe that this story is now more than 100 pages in the word document and that it has more than 300 reviews here, am so happy. Am sorry it's taken me so long to update but have started working now and am travelling a bit as well so am quite busy. Will try to update sooner the next time but can't promise you anything.**

**Andrea xx**

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><p><strong>Gingerstorm 101:<strong> You'll be happy to see that there is some action… :) Know what you mean, at my current work I'm doing 10-hour shifts. I like my job though so it's ok.

**Mrs HH:** Thank you, I've never really written any sex scenes before (not very many at least) so am finding it kind of difficult but you'll see… :)

**Casper22:** Am glad you think that, that's what I think (about her accepting her scars).

**HarryPGinnyW4eva:** Thanks, yes, it's a shame that he couldn't fix her scars in that way but I've got a feeling that he's fixed them in the more important way Yes, I know what you mean about her friends, at least there's some of Ginny in this one.

**Kris:** I think you have a fair point concerning that scar removal potion. Yes, they are very intelligent, but then again, they're just humans (wizards anyway..). I haven't yet made up my mind about whether they're going to keep trying or not. Am leaning towards them not trying at the moment. But thank you for your idea concerning the curse, always appreciate ideas. :)

**Spliceit2012:** Am glad you saw it that way, that's how I aimed at portraying it (as something deeper than sexual gratification I mean).

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><p>Hermione was the first one to wake up the next morning. It was too hot in the room and she had always preferred being slightly too cold than slightly too warm when in bed. She shifted to get out of the bed and realised that Severus' hand was wrapped around her midriff. She looked at his sleeping form and smiled. His hair was a mess, standing out in every direction. He looked relaxed. She pulled down the duvet to her waist, still finding the bed too warm but not wanting to leave it. The air quickly cooled her down and she turned her face so she could look at Severus. She lay on her back and he lay on one side, with an arm and a leg draped over her. A sigh of content left her lips and she rested her head on the pillow next to his shoulder, placing a hand on his arm.<p>

Never since the war had she expected to feel so relaxed around a man, the way she did now. She had shown him all her scars and it had been all right. Whilst she still couldn't quite believe that he liked her even though she was scarred, she was very happy he did and chose to believe his words when he said he did. Then again, she didn't mind his scars at all, but they were less pronounced and had paled with time.

The realisation that they were leaving the same day hit her and she smiled happily, whilst at the same time feeling a bit nostalgic. It was going to be sad to leave Hogwarts, but it was what she wanted to. She cast a Tempus spell and saw that it was just before eight o'clock in the morning.

Watching Severus sleep softly made her smile widen. She pulled down the duvet from his shoulders and seized the opportunity to look at his body more closely. It took her a minute to count the scars on his chest and she reached the number 17. Two or three were quite big, almost as long as a small hand, but thin. The scars on his arms were more numerous but much smaller. It pained her to see the scars of the immense pain he must have had to suffer through. One day soon she would make him tell her where and how he got all of them. She wanted to know of all his pain so that she could help him with it.

Feeling him stir, she pulled up the duvet again and pressed a soft kiss on his lips.

"Morning," she greeted him with a smile.

"Do that again," he murmured, his voice still laced with sleep.

Hermione chuckled softly and complied. It took a moment or two before he began kissing her back. When he did, he pushed himself up on one arm so he could lean over her and get better access to her mouth. They kissed for a couple of minutes before Severus pulled back and lay down beside her again. He placed a hand on her waist and placed a kiss on her shoulder.

"When do you want to leave?" Hermione asked.

"I need to shrink and pack everything in my quarters as I won't be returning, but it shouldn't take too long, how about 11 o'clock? And then we will apparate to my house so I can drop off my things before we head towards London."

"Sounds good."

They had agreed that the best way to get to Hamburg was to fly, as inter-country apparition was not recommended unless you really had no other option, as the risk of splinching was so great. Portkeys were by far the preferred option but the ministry regulated them. Seeing as neither of them wanted the ministry to be able to find out where they were, they had decided to travel the muggle way.

"I should head back to my quarters now so no one sees me leaving your rooms. See you in the entrance hall at 11?"

"Yes," Severus replied and pulled her tighter towards him, pressing gentle kisses on the back of her neck.

"Hey, I was about to get up," Hermione complained with humour evident in her voice. She took one of his hands in hers and pressed a kiss to it.

"You know, I might just keep you here all summer," Severus said darkly and caressed her breasts.

"If you keep doing that, I won't mind." She reached in between their bodies and placed a hand on Severus' lower belly, moving it downwards until it cupped his penis.

Severus breathed in sharply at her touch and closed his eyes for a few moments, revelling in her touch. Then he composed himself, it seemed, for he schooled his expression.

"Fair enough. I'll let you go," he said and removed his hands from her body.

Hermione smiled knowingly and removed her hands from him as well. She pulled down the duvet and got out of bed, her nudity making her feel a bit self-conscious all of a sudden. She turned her face towards Severus and saw that he was watching her with an appreciative look on his face. His kind eyes made her feel a bit better about herself and she forced herself to stop worrying about how she looked in front of him. She bent down and picked up her skirt, transfiguring it to a set of robes that she pulled over her head.

"That's just mean," Severus, who had shifted into a sitting position, groaned. "How am I supposed to be able to eat breakfast, knowing that you will be sitting there, all naked?"

"Lucky for you, I'm going to change clothes before breakfast. But after seeing your reaction, I might just forget to put on underwear... I'll be sure to let you know if I do," Hermione replied with a seductive smile as she stuffed the rest of her clothes in one of her pockets.

"You'll be the death of me," Severus moaned. "I doubt the Headmistress would look too kindly upon me having an erection during breakfast…"

"Well, you better compose yourself then, or wait until I can… assist you later today. Unless you would let me assist you right now?" the Gryffindor smiled and took a step towards the bed.

"You better go now, we shouldn't do this in school," he said and slipped a hand under the duvet.

Hermione had an idea and decided to go for it. She pulled off her robes and stood there, stark naked, in front of him again.

"Hermione…" Severus protested half-heartedly but it was obvious that he was very aroused, hence the sound of his voice.

She climbed back into bed and positioned herself behind Severus, who was still sitting up. Spreading her legs, she leaned back against the pillows so that she was in a position between lying down and sitting up. She pulled Severus back against her so that his head came to rest on her lower belly.

"Then let me watch," she whispered and pulled off the duvet from him.

Severus looked as if he was about to protest but chose not to. Instead he moved both of his hands downwards until one of them cupped his balls. He wrapped his other hand around his shaft and began stroking it, soon moving it up and down.

Hermione let her hands caress his upper body, especially the area around his nipples that she found to be especially receptive. She tried pinching one of his nipples lightly and smiled when it elicited a gasp from him.

It didn't take long before his eyes closed as he was enjoying himself more and more. Hermione alternated between caressing his torso and pinching his hard nipples, loving the reactions she got. She watched as his face turned into a rather tense expression just before he came and then his entire body relaxed. He opened his eyes and she loved the feeling of pure bliss she found in them. She pressed a kiss to his head and wrapped her arms tighter around him.

"That was… amazing," Severus managed to say, his breath still ragged.

"That was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," Hermione said honestly, bending down so she could capture his lips in a kiss.

"We should take care of you," he said, his voice sounding almost normal.

"Oh no, that will wait until tonight, but do know, that I can't wait," Hermione smiled sweetly.

"Are you sure?" the Slytherin asked, caressing her thighs.

"Yes, I better go to my room now," she said and pushed Severus up gently so that she could get out of the bed. She leaned down towards him and placed a final kiss on his lips, her breasts touching his torso. After putting on her robes, she stepped into her shoes and left the room with Severus regarding her with a wondrous smile on his face.

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><p>The final breakfast in the great hall was a cheerful affair. Most of the students couldn't wait to get home and everyone was still ecstatic over the fact that the exams were over. Hermione sat chatting happily with the rest of the Gryffindors and as she left the hall with Ginny, she felt a pang of sadness that her last meal at Hogwarts was over.<p>

"Could you come with me to my room for a minute? There's something I want to tell you," Hermione told Ginny as they walked through the corridors.

"Sure," the redhead replied.

A few minutes they stepped into Hermione's rooms and seated themselves.

"So, what is it that you wanted to tell me?" Ginny asked curiously.

"Well, you know how I'm going travelling this summer?" Hermione asked tentatively.

"Yes."

"The thing is, I'm not travelling alone, I'm actually going with a friend," she continued, feeling slightly nervous. Telling the Headmistress about their friendship had been one thing, telling Ginny about it felt a lot more real. "Professor Snape's coming with me."

"Oh wow, I never would have seen that one coming," Ginny exclaimed with a smile upon her face.

"You don't mind?" Hermione asked in surprise at her friend's smile.

"Well, I don't think I would be friends with a teacher, but you're way more similar to them than I am so I guess it's not that strange. And you've been working together for quite some time. But mostly I'm just glad you're not going alone, now I won't have to worry," the younger girl explained.

"Right," Hermione said, not quite sure how to interpret her friend's words. "Well, I'm glad you think it's good. Just please don't tell anyone else, I haven't told Ron or Harry as I know they hate him."

"No worries, your secret's safe with me. Just tell me one thing, you guys aren't dating, are you?"

"No, we're not," Hermione replied quickly, hoping she sounded credible. She felt slightly bad for lying but knew that there was no other way.

"So what's he like as a friend? I can't see him joking or sharing things, I mean…" Ginny said with a pensieve expression on her face.

"He's…caring." Hermione settled on that word, not wanting to divulge anything private about him to her friend. "He's very private but he is a good friend. But mainly we discuss potions and muggle literature, to be honest," Hermione lied.

"Of course you do," Ginny laughed. "See, that's why I said you're much more similar to the teachers than I am."

"Okay, now I get your point," Hermione replied with a laugh. "Well, we're leaving in half an hour so I better finish packing now, but I hope you have a great summer," she said and stood up. "I'll owl you." She smiled and hugged Ginny tightly.

"You too, keep me posted on your travels. See you in August, I'll miss you," Ginny said, hugging her friend back.

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><p>It did not take Hermione very long to shrink all her belongings and place them in her pocket. She had changed into muggle clothes and was now wearing a navy blue long-sleeved dress, a pair of black flats and a short leather jacket, in which all her things were. On her shoulder was a black leather bag. Her hair was done up in a high ponytail. She looked around her rooms one final time to check that she hadn't left anything behind. Satisfied that she had packed everything, she left for the entrance hall.<p>

The Hogwarts express wasn't leaving for another hour so the mayhem that usually took place in the entrance hall on the last day of term hadn't started yet. She found Severus waiting for her by the door and greeted him with a large smile. As they were in a very public place, they didn't exchange any words. Instead, he just opened the door for her and gestured for her to exit through it. They walked down to the gates in silence.

"Take my arm," Severus said as soon as they were outside the gates.

Hermione did as he told her and together they apparated away from Hogwarts.

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><p><strong>Credit where credit is due: I got the idea of one of them masturbating with the other one watching from the story "Broken Dreams" by onecelestialbeing, it's amazing, you should check it out.<strong>

**Reviews make me happy. **


	29. Chapter 28

**Your reviews made me so happy, so thank you! This chapter is a bit shorter but I didn't have time to write much more today and I figured that the scene where it ends was a good scene to end a chapter with. Think you'll agree.**

**Hope everyone's having a lovely summer,**

**Andrea xx**

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><p><strong>Onecelestialbeing:<strong> So glad you like it! :)

**Casper22:** I completely agree with you, this is definitely where the real adventure begins.

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><p>A moment later they appeared in a small area between the side of a house and a high hedge. The grass they landed on was yellow and looked as if it would die soon unless someone took care of it. It was almost completely silent around them. There weren't even any birds chirping nearby.<p>

Hermione looked around and found that they were standing next to a small grey house. There were no things in the garden, nor could she spot any items in any of the windowsills. It looked as if no one had lived there for a very long time.

"This way," Severus said stiffly and gestured for her to follow him around one of the corners of the house.

They ended up in front of a small staircase leading up to a door. The white paint of the door had almost disappeared, leaving only a ragged wooden surface. Severus stopped just outside the door for a moment, as if he was bracing himself for something. Hermione placed a hand on his arm and gave it a reassuring touch. Whilst Severus still had not told her a lot about his childhood, she knew that it had not been a very happy one and she suspected that there were a lot of memories he had suppressed that came flooding back when he entered his childhood home.

"The wards on this place are very strong and would take a lot of time to change, you better stay outside, I will just be a minute," Severus said and gave her an apologetic look.

"Right, no worries," Hermione smiled and took a step back.

Severus entered the house and closed the door behind him.

For a moment Hermione thought she could feel strong magic pulsing through the air but a second later it stopped. Severus opened the door a minute later, looking very uncomfortable. He shut the door and whispered a number of spells, making sure that the wards on the house were as strong as they had been earlier. Looking satisfied, he walked down the small staircase.

"I hate that place," he muttered as he walked towards Hermione.

"I figured as much," Hermione replied softly and gave him a quick kiss before embracing him tightly.

The amazing feeling Severus felt every time Hermione did something really affectionate, like kissing his hand, was nothing compared to how he felt right now. He had never felt as strongly about anyone before. Whilst he knew that they still did not know each other very well by most people's standards, she knew more about him, or at least about his thoughts and feelings, than anyone had ever known. It scared him to no end. He had no idea of how their relationship would turn out but he had at least reached the level of trust where he trusted her to keep his secrets regardless of what happened between them after this point.

Severus took a step back and cupped Hermione's cheeks with his hands. He looked straight into his eyes and bit his bottom lip slightly, wondering if he was going to regret his next words. Then again, he wanted to be honest with her and recently he had tried to make a serious effort not to remain as emotionally detached as he had forced himself to be for so many years.

"Hermione, I just wanted to say, that is I, well, I just wanted to say that I don't know how I feel about you, I just know that I've never felt this way about anyone before," he said, sounding uncharacteristically uncertain, and took a deep breath. "And it scares me," he whispered coarsely. It was the first time in his entire life that he had ever admitted to another person that he was scared of something. Never in his life had he felt so naked before.

Hermione seemed to know how hard it was for him to pronounce those words and so she replied immediately.

"Severus, I feel the same. I've never done this before either. I've never been in a serious relationship before. I've never felt this way and I've never been this scared before," Hermione said quietly, never breaking eye contact. She took a step forwards so that she could kiss him.

At first, their kiss was soft and gentle, but it soon turned into a more heated one. Before long, their hands were all over each other's bodies. After a few minutes they had to take a step back to take a few deep breaths. They resumed their kissing as soon as they could. Hermione slipped her hands underneath his cloak and pulled up his shirt from his trousers so that she could touch his back without any fabric between them. One of his hands were underneath her dress, moving its way up to cup one of her bum cheeks.

Hermione knew what she wanted and figured she might as well say it. However, before she did, she pointed her wand at the ground and all of a sudden an invisible giant mattress appeared. Another flick of her wand, and there was a silencing charm and a notice-me-not charm on the entire garden. She pulled Severus with her towards the mattress and they landed on their sides.

"I want to have sex with you, now," Hermione said as she forced her lips away from his for a second.

"Here?" Severus raised an eyebrow and gave her an amused glance.

"Yes," she replied and pushed him down on his back. She straddled his waist and bent down to capture his lips in yet another kiss.

"Have you put up charms?" he asked breathlessly.

"Yes," Hermione replied and shrugged off her leather jacket, before pulling her dress over her head, leaving her in a black bra and a black pair of knickers.

"If you say so," Severus said and smiled at her. He surprised her by reversing their positions. He straddled her hips and moved to kiss her neck. He placed kisses all along her neck, between her breasts and down towards her knickers, before pulling away. A wandless spell later and all his shirt buttons were unbuttoned. He shrugged off his shirt and his cloak.

The Gryffindor pulled him down towards her and made him lie down next to her. She unbuttoned his slacks and pulled them down his legs so that he could kick them off his feet, after first kicking off his black brogues and his socks.

He unclasped her bra and helped her out of it. As he kissed one of her breasts, she pulled down his underwear. He soon pulled down her knickers and a moment later they were both naked.

After what seemed like no time, but was probably more than fifteen minutes, spent kissing, Hermione told him she couldn't wait much longer.

"I need you, now," she said breathlessly, feeling one of his fingers entering her.

While his thumb grazed her clitoris gently, he pushed another finger into her. Hermione moved her body downwards to meet his fingers. When he was satisfied that she was wet enough, he placed himself between her legs. With one hand on his penis, he guided it into her. The feeling of her enclosing him was amazing.

"Finally," Hermione moaned and placed a hand on the back of his head, pushing his head down towards her so she could capture his lips in a kiss.

Severus soon sped up his rhythm and it did not take long before both of them were moaning. He placed a hand on her lower belly and gently rubbed her clitoris, loving the sounds she made when he hit the right spot.

"I'm going to come, Severus," Hermione panted and urged him to go faster.

A moment later she climaxed, closing her eyes and tilting her head back slightly. The look of bliss on her face was enough to send him over the edge. A second later he climaxed as well.

Severus pulled out of her and collapsed next to her, catching his breath. Hermione lay on her side and draped a leg across his body, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"That was amazing," Hermione said and was rewarded with a kiss on her lips. She reached for her wand and conjured a blanket that she placed on top of them. They lay there for an hour or so, just resting.

"It's funny, isn't it?" Hermione was the first to speak. "That we didn't kiss for months because we were at Hogwarts and then once we left we couldn't even wait a day," she said, chuckling. "This is not how I pictured our first time but it was way better than I ever expected it to be," she smiled.

Severus chuckled and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Well, Miss Granger, you were never one for following the rules when you were outside of school," he said in his best stern teacher voice.

"Well, professor, I just couldn't help myself," she replied in an innocent tone.

"Is that so?" he said darkly and cupped one of her breasts.

"Yes," she smiled happily and pressed a kiss to his lips.

"What a shame," he chuckled and deepened their kiss.

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><p><strong>So the sex kind of surprised me as well, when I began writing this scene I didn't have sex in mind at all, but for me it made more sense than a cliche scene in a big hotel bed.. can't wait to read your thoughts about it!<strong>


	30. Chapter 29

**Dear all, **

**Thank you very much for your reviews. I am sorry for the lack of updates. Real life has been very busy lately and my muse seems to have abandoned me. This chapter is almost too sweet for my taste but I couldn't bring myself to be mean to them, hope you understand. I will do my best to update soon but as usual I can't promise anything, really depends on the mood of my muse. **

**Andrea xx**

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><p>It only took them a few minutes to get dressed. Hermione transfigured a pinecone into a hairbrush and ran it through her tangled locks. Whilst her hair wasn't exactly bushy anymore, it was definitely lively, not to mention frizzy. She got rid of the mattress and smiled at the memory of what they had just done. Amazing was the word.<p>

"Should we apparate to Heathrow?" Hermione asked as she put on her shoes.

"Yes, I think that would be wise. Maybe we should apparate to one of the tube platforms where it's likely to be busy, just to avoid potential problems," Severus replied and put on his jacket.

"Okay, I'm ready, are you?"

"Yes."

Hermione offered her hand to Severus and he took it, his hand still hot from the increased blood circulation caused by their previous activity. A moment later, Hermione apparated the two of them to just outside the tube exit at Heathrow. As they had expected, the place was busy and no one noticed them arrive. Severus gestured her to follow him to a corner. There he conjured two pieces of small ordinary-looking suitcases, while keeping his wand hidden away in his sleeve.

"Good thinking," Hermione said and pulled up the handle on one of them. She squeezed one of his hands gently before turning to walk towards the terminal. The moment she let go of his hand she felt him wrap his fingers around hers and take her hand in a soft grip. She turned around and saw him give her a small smile.

"No one knows us here," he said quietly, as if feeling the need to reply to a question she had never asked.

They walked, hand in hand, to the check-in terminal. As both of them had grown up in the muggle world they already had passports, meaning that they had only had to renew their old ones instead of conjuring fake passports. Check-in progressed smoothly as they had no bags to check in. If they looked strange as a couple, it was not something that they noticed as not a single person stopped to stare. That was definitely one of the advantages of being in an airport where there was always different-looking people passing through. When they passed through security Severus was asked to take off his jacket and Hermione noticed him stiffen. A second later he had hidden his wand underneath his shirt and compliantly removed his jacket. As soon as they were through security Hermione squeezed his shoulder gently.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" she whispered in his ear.

"No, though I must say I pity the muggles who have to go through that procedure several times a week," he said neutrally.

"Have you been on a plane before?" she asked, looking up the gate number on her boarding card.

"A few times. I don't have a problem with it but I find it far from enjoyable. How about you?"

"Same. I don't like that it is so time consuming," she replied and checked her wristwatch. "We have about an hour, do you want to have a coffee somewhere?"

"Very well."

The flight was a bit delayed so it was about two hours later before they finally boarded the plane. They were lucky and had no one in the seat next to them. Severus was in the window seat and kept looking out the window during the take-off. He looked as if his thoughts were miles away in his head.

"Are you okay? It's too late to change your mind now, you know," Hermione said playfully and took hold of one of his hands.

Severus turned to face her and she was surprised by how raw and unmasked his face looked. Especially since they were not alone. Then again, maybe this complete anonymity was what he had needed.

"As if I would change my mind," he said and looked into her eyes. "I have never felt this free. I still don't know how this happened and what I have done to deserve you, but God knows I wouldn't change any of it," he continued just as seriously.

Hermione placed two fingers under his chin and looked at him sternly.

"At some point in the next few days you and I are going to sit down and I am going to tell you how I see you. And, what's worse, you are going to have to believe me, because I won't have anymore of you putting yourself down. But first, I would really like to hear about your family and your childhood," Hermione said, finishing in a softer voice than the one she'd started in.

Severus looked at her in awe as her words sank in. Then he lifted one of her hands to his lips and kissed it gently. Several times.

"I will do my best to reply to your questions, when you decide to ask them," he said as he placed their intertwined hands between them.

"That is all I ask," Hermione said with a small smile on her lips.

When they arrived at the airport in Hamburg they took the S-Bahn to Hamburg's central railway station, the Hauptbahnhof. From there they took a taxi to a small hotel they had booked a few days before. The room they received was nicer than they had expected and even had a small balcony.

"I can't believe we're finally here, I'm so excited!" Hermione said and removed her jacket and put up her hair in a messy bun. She unshrank her bag and placed it next to one of the walls. Then she approached Severus, who was looking at the view through the balcony windows, and wrapped her arms around him from behind.

"I'm so glad I can finally touch you when I want to," she murmured as she placed a kiss on his neck.

"And what makes you think that?" Severus replied teasingly and turned around to face her. He gently tugged both her arms behind her back and held them there with one of his hands. He cupped one of her cheeks with his other hand and leaned in as if to kiss her, but leaving an inch or so between their lips.

"That's just mean," Hermione whispered, feeling his hot breath on her face, suddenly very aware of his proximity. She didn't attempt to move her hands from his grip but leaned forward very slowly, capturing his lips in a hungry kiss.

"You really should learn to exert some patience," Severus teased as he moved his lips away from hers for a moment. Then he let her hands go and moved one of his hands to her hair while the other one came to rest on the small of her back, pulling her body close to his, their lips meeting once again.

They kissed until both of them were out of breath. Hermione was the first one to step away.

"I need a break," she said, trying to catch her breath. Stepping out of her shoes, she took one of his hands and led him to the bed, pulling down the duvet. She pulled her dress off unceremoniously and got into the bed. Severus then proceeded to remove every item of his clothing apart from his underwear and then got into bed next to her. Hermione turned to lie on one side and gave his forehead a chaste kiss. She closed her eyes for a moment before frowning. Sitting up, she unclasped her bra and threw it to the side.

"I've never understood the girls who can be comfortable in bed with a bra on," she muttered. "They're really not made for lying down."

"I wouldn't know," Severus said with a deep chuckle, enjoying the view of her bare breasts.

"Did you know I've actually seen you in women's wear once?" Hermione asked with an uncharacteristic giggle.

"Ah yes, your third year if I remember correctly?" he replied, looking rather amused at her expression. "How did I look?"

"Very handsome," she replied with a laugh and watched Severus roll his eyes.

"I suddenly got a picture of you in men's wear," Severus said and smirked. "That is something you must try some time," he continued, eyes glittering.

"And what am I wearing in this… fantasy?" Hermione countered suggestively.

"A white shirt, with no bra underneath, a black tie and black slacks. Possibly a black hat as well…" he mused.

"Well, I'm sure that can be arranged," she replied with a shy smile.

"I'm glad."

Hermione stifled a yawn and blinked several times.

"It feels like all the fatigue of the last weeks is finally catching up with me."

"Then you should sleep, by all means," he said softly and shifted closer to her so that she could rest her head on his arm.

She draped one of her arms over his upper body and closed her eyes.

Severus wasn't very tired and so he stayed awake, watching her. He could tell it was going to be a good summer.

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><p><strong>Please review<strong>


	31. Chapter 30

**Hi everyone,**

**Here's finally a chapter that's a bit longer. The plot came to me a few days ago, haven't yet decided what I think about it (as part of the story) but I felt I needed to write it. As always, reviews and/or constructive criticism is always appreciated. **

**Andrea xxx**

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><p>The following week was unusually warm for that time of the summer and so Hermione and Severus visited even more museums than they had originally planned. Not that they minded. Most of their days were spent visiting museums, art galleries and wizarding remains. There was no magical community left in Hamburg but there were still traces of it, such as a small number of magical books. Hermione and Severus read every magical book they could get their hands on.<p>

One night, about a week after they arrived in Hamburg, there was something tapping on the window. They had just been about to undress to go to bed.

"That sounds like an owl, doesn't it?" Hermione asked suspiciously.

"It does," Severus confirmed and opened the window.

A moment later a dark-grey owl flew into the room and landed on the bed. It stretched out one of its legs, which had a small envelope tied to it. Hermione untied the tie and removed the envelope, while stroking the owl.

"Will you give it some water? It looks very tired," she asked Severus softly as she opened the envelope which had "Hermione" written on it.

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><p><em>Dear Hermione, <em>

_I'm not sure where you are at the moment but I hope this letter reaches you. There is no easy way to say this so I will just say it. Ginny was raped a few days ago. Don't worry, she is safe now, but she was hurt. Badly. I know Mrs Weasley isn't going to make you come back but I think Ginny needs you. Please write back soon. I'm sorry for interrupting your holiday. _

_Love, _

_Harry_

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><p>Severus frowned as he watched Hermione read the letter. Tears were welling up in her eyes and her shoulders shook slightly. It could only be bad news. When she was finished, she handed the letter to him wordlessly. A few moments later he understood her reaction. He was unsure as to what to say, as there was most certainly no words that could make the situation better.<p>

"I'm so sorry," he settled on. "We'll fly back tomorrow morning."

At first he thought the words were wrong because Hermione began trembling before she started crying heavily. A moment later she closed the distance between them and embraced him, crying into his neck.

"Thank you," she said between her sobs. "I'm so sorry for ruining our summer, I really am, but I…"

"Hermione, stop apologizing, of course you have to go back. And you haven't ruined our summer. We will catch up on what we missed when we have the time," he said and stroked her back gently. "And of course I am coming with you back to England". He was rewarded by her hugging him even tighter.

They stood like that for several minutes, until Hermione's crying had eased.

"I need to write Harry back," she said softly and took a step back from Severus.

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><p><em>Dear Harry,<em>

_Words cannot describe how I feel. I will fly back tomorrow morning and should be able to get to the Burrow by early afternoon, please can you let the Weasleys know that I will drop by around then? I hope this owl reaches you before then._

_Love, _

_Hermione_

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><p>As they went to bed shortly after that, Hermione was feeling so torn that she wasn't sure she could sleep facing or embracing Severus. At first she turned to lie on the side, near the edge of the bed, so that she was neither facing nor touching him. After a few moments, she felt his fingers touch her shoulder tentatively.<p>

"Let me know if I can help you in any way," he murmured and pressed a feather light kiss to the side of her neck.

"I'm scared," Hermione whispered, without turning to face him. "I'm scared of how to act around her, of what I should do to help her," she continued, her voice growing stronger by the minute. "On one hand it is so hard to think about it that I can't even imagine what she's going through. And I feel angry, so angry. I've never wanted to kill anyone before. Of course I wished Voldemort dead but not in this way. I want to strangle the person who did this with my own hands. But mostly, I just want to help her. She's my best friend and it kills me that something like this has happened to her," she said, a single tear rolling down one her cheeks.

Severus remained quiet for a few minutes, contemplating what to say.

"Will you look at me?" he asked softly, feeling the need to look into her eyes.

Hermione slowly turned so that she was laying on her other side, facing him.

"Just be yourself. She needs a friend. She may not want to talk when you see her and you have to respect that. Or perhaps she will want to talk about it and then you will have to listen. Do not hesitate to touch her but do not be surprised if she flinches or turns away. She may not let you touch her, or perhaps she will throw herself on you. You have to respect her wishes. Ask if there is anything you can do. Hermione, don't worry, just try to be there for her. I cannot say I know Ginevra very well but from my point of view you seem to be very close," Severus said slowly, sounding calm and weary at the same time. During his years as a housemaster, not to mention his years as a death eater, he had seen rape from many different perspectives. It was always awful.

"You're right, as always. I will just try my best to be there for her," Hermione whispered slowly. She shifted her body so that her head was resting on one of Severus' shoulders and draped one leg across his legs.

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><p>It was about 11 o'clock the next day when Hermione and Severus landed at Heathrow airport. Seeing as neither of them fancied staying at Grimmauld place or at Hogwarts, they had decided to apparate to Hermione' flat in Edinburgh to drop off their things. It was a one-bedroom-apartment with a small kitchen and a living room filled with bookshelves and two sofas, as well as a computer. They had agreed that it was best if Hermione arrived at the Burrow alone as they did not want to break the news of their relationship at this time.<p>

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><p>Hermione apparated to the Burrow about an hour later. Feeling very nervous, she walked up to the door and tentatively knocked on it. It was Ron who opened the door. For someone who was always very cheerful, he looked unusually gloomy.<p>

"'Mione," he said as a way of greeting and embraced her tightly.

"I'm so sorry," she mumbled as she hugged him back.

"Who is it?" someone called from what sounded like the kitchen.

"It's Hermione," Ron replied.

They walked into the kitchen where they found Mrs Weasley, Harry, Fred and George.

"It's so good of you to come so quickly, dear, really sweet of you my darling girl," Mrs Weasley gushed, her cheerful voice sounding rather forced.

After Hermione had embraced everyone, they sat down around the kitchen table while Fred made them a pot of tea.

"I think it's best if I tell you what happened before you see her," Mrs Weasley said sadly.

"Of course," Hermione tried to give her a supportive smile.

"Well, I don't know how much Harry wrote in his letter, but my darling girl was…" Mrs Weasley had to stop herself to take a deep breath. "Ginevra was raped two nights ago. She had been to one of the pubs in Diagon Alley with a few friends from school; you might know them, Laura Turner and Jenny Lambert. They all bid goodbye outside the pub and went separate ways. Then, as Ginny was walking to the Leaky Cauldron to meet another friend," she continued with wet eyes. "As she was walking to the Leaky Cauldron, someone pulled her into an alley and… we have no idea for how long it went on, Ginny says she doesn't remember. At some point during the night though, an old woman found Ginny and took her to St Mungo's. That's when we found out. She was there until yesterday afternoon. She's been in her bed since, she won't come down or talk to anyone," Mrs Weasley said sadly.

Hermione had been crying softly during the story and noticed that most of the other eyes in the room were wet as well.

"Have they caught the perpetrator?" she asked.

"No. They found some traces of him on Ginny's body," Mrs Weasley replied, her voice shaking, "but they can't identify him. Ginny says she can't remember what he looked like".

"Can I see her?"

"Of course, dear, just be prepared that she may not want to talk, she's slept almost non-stop since yesterday afternoon".

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><p>Hermione was terrified as she knocked on the door to Ginny's bedroom. She knocked three times but did not receive a reply. Opening the door gently, she stepped into the bedroom. She found Ginny in her bed, with her back against the door. Her head moved slightly as she heard the door open, making it apparent that she was awake.<p>

"Ginny, it's me, Hermione, may I come in?" she asked softly.

There was no reply.

"Ginny, I'm coming in, I hope it's okay," she continued and walked over to Ginny's desk. "I'm sitting down on the chair next to your desk."

It took half an hour or so before Ginny turned around to face Hermione. Her face was void of all emotion. Seeing the usually so cheerful girl so cold scared Hermione.

"I'm so sorry about what happened," Hermione whispered. "Is there anything I can do to help? Do you want to talk about it? Or not talk?" she rambled nervously.

Ginny just shook her head slowly and looked at a spot on the wall behind Hermione.

"It's okay, don't worry."

They sat in silence for another half hour or so before Hermione decided to speak again.

"May I lie down on the bed next to you?"

Ginny did not protest but instead shifted slightly closer to the wall. Hermione took that as a 'yes'. She slowly lay down next to Ginny, feeling the girl next to her shake slightly through the mattress. Her hand sought out Ginny's hand and she tentatively touched it. She felt Ginny's entire body stiffen and thought she had made a mistake. A moment later, however, Ginny took hold of her hand and gripped it so hard that it almost hurt.

"Oh Ginny, I'm so, so sorry." Hermione felt her tears well up again but forced herself to stay calm.

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><p>It was several hours later when Hermione decided it was time for her to go. She turned to look at Ginny and noticed that she was sleeping. Gently, she eased the other girl's grip on her hand. As she did so, she felt Ginny stir.<p>

"I need to go home now, but I'll be back tomorrow, I promise," she said softly. "Is there anything you want me to get you? Some food perhaps?" she asked as she stood up.

Ginny did not reply. Hermione gently pressed one hand to one of Ginny's cheeks and kissed her forehead softly.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Hermione said and walked towards the door.

Ginny looked at her as she closed the door and gave her friend a weak smile.

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><p>Hermione did not stay long at the Weasleys', but bid her goodbyes quickly and promised that she would be back the next day. She was dying to see Severus. She apparated back to a corner of the back yard of the building where her apartment was and quickly made her way upstairs. As she unlocked the door, she prayed that Severus was at home.<p>

He must have heard her enter, because it only took a moment before he was standing in front of her. There was a worried look in his eyes.

Hermione lunged herself at him. Crying heavily, she attempted to tell him how awful it was. How scary it was to see Ginny that way. How worried she had been that she had done the wrong thing when she had touched Ginny. Her words were so incoherent that Severus told her to tell him the next morning. He led her to the bedroom and undressed her. After tucking her into bed, he removed his own clothes and joined her. Pulling her tightly to him, he tried to lighten her load by comforting her.

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><p><strong>Reviews make me very happy. <strong>


	32. Chapter 31

**Dear all,**

**Finally another chapter. Mainly smut, sorry but I couldn't help it. Thank you so much to those who reviewed, makes me really happy. **

**Merry (belated) Christmas to you all,**

**A xx**

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><p><strong>TheEscapeFromReality:<strong> You'll find out later, some clues are in this chapter. I should probably have made it a bit clearer in the last one, but figured Mrs Weasley was so distraught she didn't say everything and that Hermione was too focused on seeing Ginny as soon as possible that she didn't ask very many questions.

**Eminator:** Don't worry, rest assured I'll let you know when I finish the story or decide to abandon it :)

**HarryPGinnyW4eva**: Well, I haven't been raped, but a friend has and due to some really strange circumstances, I was the only one to take care of her for the first 24 hours after it happened, I even stayed with her at the hospital one night. Was three years ago now so don't know why I felt the need to write about it now, but yeah, it's kind of drawn from my own experiences, at least the Ginny not talking and Hermione laying next to her in bed trying to comfort her. Thanks for reviewing!

**Tearainy:** Thank you so much for your kind words.

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><p>When Severus awoke, he found Hermione wide-awake. She was lying on her back, her hands resting on her torso. Her eyes were fixed on some invisible spot on the ceiling. He shifted slightly to show her that he was awake.<p>

"You're awake," she stated the obvious in a soft voice. Turning over to her side, she leaned forward to give him a chaste kiss. "Was I really horrible last night? I barely remember coming home." She had a pensieve look on her face.

Severus felt more than a little relieved that Hermione was back to her usual composed self. He was not good at dealing with hysteric women, even if said woman was Hermione.

"It is quite all right. However, you were so incoherent that I failed to understand what you were saying," he replied, shifting so that he was lying on his side facing her. Absentmindedly, he ran a few fingers through her hair.

"It was awful," Hermione replied quietly, her face turning from a worried expression into a blank one. "Ginny didn't say a single word to me. She was lying in her bed, looking incredibly stiff. I asked her if she wanted to talk about it but she just shook her head. After an hour or so I asked if I could lie down beside her and she shifted a bit so as to make room for me but she still didn't speak. Then I tried to touch her hand and her entire body tensed up. I was so scared I'd pushed her too far but then she took hold of my hand and squeezed it so hard it almost hurt." Hermione felt a shiver run down her back as she thought of the memory.

"Have they caught the rapist?" Severus asked.

"No, and it doesn't seem very likely that they will, unless Ginny starts to remember what happened, but I think that's unlikely since she probably doesn't want to remember. But it doesn't make sense. She is always so capable of taking care of herself and she's exceptionally good at wandless magic, so even if the person took her wand, she should still have been able to do something," Hermione said thoughtfully.

"Perhaps she was inebriated, or perhaps she knew the perpetrator. But most likely, the shock paralysed her," Severus replied slowly.

"Mrs Weasley didn't say anything about her being drunk, but then I suppose she wouldn't. But do you really think it could be someone she knew? I find that hard to believe. Of course it could be shock, and I have no idea how I would react had it happened to me, but still, she fought in the war. Even if she's not as jumpy as me when she's out in public, I know she's not completely relaxed; we've talked about how hard we're finding it to go back to normal. But someone she knew? Who could that be?" Hermione frowned.

"I am not accusing anyone, I am just trying to think of possible explanations why she didn't fight back," he replied.

Hermione was quiet for a few moments as she contemplated what he'd said.

"On the one hand, I'm so grateful that it didn't happen to me, but on the other hand, I want to take her pain away so badly that I wish it had happened to me instead," she mused.

Severus did not know what to reply so he settled on shifting to his side and began running his fingers through her hair in a soothing motion.

"She's in a bad way. Of course, it's only been a few days but she didn't say a single word yesterday. Ginny's usually the one who never stops talking. I can't even begin to imagine the pain she must have had to suffer through, mental and physical." She was quiet for a moment and frowned. "I just wish there was some way in which I could help her. I've never felt as powerless as I did yesterday, watching her hurt."

"I know that this is not what you would like to hear, but I think you helped her just by being there. And I think you should go back every day, as long as she needs you. Not that any case of rape is similar to another, but from my experience as housemaster, it usually gets better with time. But you have to be aware that it might take a long time. Be careful not to push her."

"You're right," Hermione said with a tired sigh, sounding a lot more tired than she should be after having slept about nine hours. That's when she noticed she was wearing a t-shirt she didn't recognise.

"Is this your shirt?" she asked with a smile and looked at the black t-shirt she was currently wearing. All the clothes she had been wearing the night before, apart from her knickers, seemed to have been removed.

"You were in no fit state to change clothes," Severus replied, explaining his actions.

"Fair enough," she said with a smile and turned to kiss him.

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><p>While the first kisses were gentle and soft, they soon became more and more heated. Hermione was about to pull off Severus' t-shirt when he, to her surprise, pulled away from her. However, it did not take long before their body contact was resumed, though not where she expected it. Severus was pulling up her t-shirt slightly so that he could place gentle kisses on her stomach. He was rewarded with a soft moan as his lips began travelling downhill. Hermione smiled when she realised where his lips were heading. Severus had never kissed her <em>there<em> before. For a moment, he pulled away slightly and looked into her eyes to make sure she was all right. She replied by running a hand through his head and guiding him gently downwards. A moment later, her knickers were gone.

Hermione inhaled sharply when she felt Severus' lips kiss her clitoris. Whilst she sometimes climaxed during intercourse, the level of pleasure she reached then was nowhere near to how she felt when she received oral sex.

The next few minutes were pure bliss to Hermione and she eventually climaxed. Whilst oral sex with Laurent had been good, it was nowhere near to how amazing it had been with Severus. She supposed she should not be that surprised, as Severus rarely did something he was not accomplished at. Of course there were many things he was bad at, but those things he would never initiate himself. And then there was the fact that she hadn't been herself with Laurent due to the glamour charm she had been wearing.

"That felt amazing," she said, still breathing heavily, when Severus shifted back to laying beside her.

Severus just smiled and obliged when Hermione put a hand on the back of his head and pulled him into a kiss.

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><p>Hermione wondered if Severus expected her to reciprocate. Giving oral sex was neither something she especially liked nor was it something she was opposed to. Right now, however, she couldn't say that she felt up to it. Luckily, it was as if Severus seemed to read her uncertainty, because he lay down next to her and gently slid an arm under her neck, before pulling her towards him.<p>

"Hermione, we should be able to talk about sex. I have absolutely no problem if you're not up for it or if you tell me to do something in a different way, just let me know," Severus said softly, looking into her eyes. "Because now it felt like you would have given me oral sex had I so much as given a tiny hint that I wanted you to, even though it is obvious that you are not in the mood. Just because I do something to you does not mean I expect something in return, it simply means that I want to do it," he continued in a serious tone.

Hermione was more than a little uncomfortable with the topic of their conversation. Sex was not something she usually discussed with her friends, not to mention her sexual partners – it usually just happened. However, she did realise that Severus had a point and agreed with him that they should be able to talk about it. It was just hard.

"Thank you," she replied softly. "I think you're right, but I'm just not very experienced when it comes to sex and talking about sex. I'm not quite sure what I like yet and talking about it feels awkward," she continued and looked away.

Severus placed two fingers under her chin and tilted her head towards his so they could resume their eye contact.

"Allow me to express what I see?" he asked and waited for her to nod her approval. "As soon as you stop thinking about how I see your body and start giving in to your feelings, you become very comfortable in your own body, and then you become even more attractive in my eyes. As for you being inexperienced, rest assured I've been more than satisfied so far. I am certainly looking forward to us trying out new things together," he continued with a smile. "As for what you like the most, you probably haven't discovered that yet, but from what I've seen, you seem to enjoy oral sex more than intercourse," he finished and pulled a few strands of hair from the side of her eye.

Hermione struggled to maintain their eye contact, as the conversation was so honest and personal.

"Well, yes, you're right. That said, I enjoy intercourse a lot even if I don't always climax," she said quietly. "How about you?"

"What about me?" Severus asked, still not breaking their eye contact.

"Well, what do you like? Is there anything you would like me to do differently?" she asked in a weak voice, feeling very silly for being so awkward.

"I love when you are on top. And I loved giving you oral sex," Severus replied frankly. "But, honestly, I've enjoyed everything that we have done so far," he added with a smile.

"Me too," Hermione smiled back at him and leaned in to give him a kiss.

They spent a few moments kissing before Hermione decided it was time to get up. She pulled away to catch her breath.

"How about a shower?" Severus asked her, his cheeks uncharacteristically rosy from the kissing.

"I've never taken a shower with someone else before but it sounds perfect," she replied shyly and got out of the bed.

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><p>Feeling unusually comfortable with herself, she pulled off her t-shirt on her way to the bathroom, leaving her completely naked. She turned on the water in the shower and waited for Severus to join her. As he entered the bathroom, she approached him and kissed him. It did not take long before he was equally naked.<p>

Hermione saw Severus take some soap into his hands and prepare to wash her. She felt a bit awkward at the new situation but the uncomfortable feeling disappeared as soon as his hands began to move over her shoulders, breasts and back. A moment later, she closed her eyes. Severus made sure all the soap was gone from her body before taking a step forwards so his body came into contact with hers. One of his hands stayed on her breasts as the other one trailed downwards and sought out her clitoris. Hermione moaned slightly at the unexpected touch and became vaguely aware of his erection pressing into her bottom. After a while, she turned around to face him and leant in for a kiss. The hot water on her body felt amazing. She traced a hand along his chest and down to his penis. Hearing Severus inhale sharply, she began caressing his penis. He cupped her face with both his hands and kissed her deeply. As she felt him near climax, she sped up her movements and it did not take long before he came in her hands, his head coming to rest on one of her shoulders.

It took Severus a moment or two to gather himself. He kissed her again and then washed them both again, giving her breasts more attention than necessary.

"I could get used to this, you know," Hermione said with a smile.

Severus replied by kissing her again. He turned off the water and opened the shower door. Wordlessly summoning two towels, he began drying her with one of them. He teased her by rubbing her a bit more than necessary _down there_.

A few minutes later they were both completely dry, with Hermione having wrapped her towel around her wet hair. They went to the bedroom to put some clothes on before heading to the kitchen to have some breakfast.

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><p><strong>Am grateful for any comments as always :) <strong>


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